October 08, 2003

NEWS QUIZ

Finish this sentence:

Yasser Arafat suffered a mild heart attack last week, but the news was not made public for fear it would create ...

a) dangerous levels of joy
b) whoopin’ and hollerin’
c) a chance at restarting peace talks with a new Palestinian leader
d) dancing
e) panic

Posted by Tim Blair at October 8, 2003 12:49 PM
Comments

He's obviously Fatah than he should be.

Posted by: pooh at October 8, 2003 at 12:57 PM

f. Jake Ryan would blue with him and all his fadahyeen mates.

Posted by: slatts at October 8, 2003 at 01:08 PM

What about all of the above? Otherwise:
f) disappointment it wasn't a massive heart attack.

Posted by: Simon at October 8, 2003 at 01:20 PM

Go to the Light, Yasser.

Posted by: MattJ at October 8, 2003 at 01:22 PM

"Although he has had a slight heart attack, the doctors say he will make a full recovery. He is in full control. There is nothing to worry about" said an aide, who did not wish to be named.

Sounds like Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf has found himself a job as Arafat's aide.

Posted by: Alex Robson at October 8, 2003 at 01:33 PM

Calling Dr. Kevorkian, Dr. Kevorkian. Stat. A Yassir Arafat needs to see you.

SMG

Posted by: SteveMG at October 8, 2003 at 01:45 PM

f) more rumours of plans for a new Israeli national holiday.

Posted by: Softly at October 8, 2003 at 01:48 PM

...f) more rumours of plans for a new Israeli national holiday.

Posted by: Softly at October 8, 2003 at 01:51 PM

..."Shlomo! Increase the intensity of the Death Ray&trade!"..

Posted by: Bashir Gemayel at October 8, 2003 at 01:53 PM

Do you think Yasser will hear the zinging sound just before the missle hits?

Posted by: swassociates at October 8, 2003 at 02:35 PM

Presumably, multiple selections may be made.

Posted by: charles austin at October 8, 2003 at 02:56 PM

Oh please just kick the bucket. This bloodthirsty terrorist is the biggest murderer of Jews since WW2 - no wonder he has the adoration of several European leaders.

Posted by: Jono at October 8, 2003 at 03:51 PM

Have you seen the latest picture of Arafat? He looks like he's been decomposing for awhile now. They need to make it official and put him in the ground.

Posted by: Randal Robinson at October 8, 2003 at 04:04 PM

"Have you seen the latest picture of Arafat?"

I wouldnt be surprised if they've been playing 'weekend at Abu's ' for some time now.

The line from Austin Powers come to mind
"why wont you just die!!!"

Posted by: DeadED at October 8, 2003 at 05:09 PM

All we need now is for Mossad to sneak up behind him and give him a good scare.

Posted by: Aaron at October 8, 2003 at 10:42 PM

a panic among morticians skilled in shaving the dead.

Posted by: Habib at October 8, 2003 at 11:40 PM

... the Palestinian leader is battling a stomach virus.

Maybe it would be best if he sent a suicide bomber after it.

Posted by: Random at October 9, 2003 at 12:11 AM

Because it would create massive "farking".

Posted by: Natalie at October 9, 2003 at 12:13 AM

f) Viagra consumers out of the EU bureaucrats whose tongues are brown with his fecal matter.

Posted by: Tongue Boy at October 9, 2003 at 12:30 AM

f) a financial crisis in the dynamite futures market

g) a false sense of security among Israeli 2-year olds

h) huge lines at the Hallmark shop for "Get Dead Soon" greeting cards

i) a sudden, massive guilt complex among the Euroa that once again they had supported a totalitarian fascist dictator bent on wiping Jews from the Earth.... nahhhh.

Posted by: iowahawk at October 9, 2003 at 03:47 AM

Alex:

"Sounds like Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf has found himself a job as Arafat's "

You mean ol' Baghdad Bob? Comical Ali? Yeah, I miss that guy. Nice to know he could have a future, but he'll need a new nickname.

Perhaps Bypass Bob?

Or Coronary Ali?

Posted by: Ken Summers at October 9, 2003 at 09:14 AM

So, that's what happened to Freddy the hole dwelling wombat disappeared to; he was kidknapped so his feral heart so his heart could be ripped out and plopped into the cavity of another feral hole dwelling wombat. Seems Arafat's body rejected his nearest cousin's donation, explaining the superonic fart that roared over the city some time ago.Billy Shakespeare had a take on this sort of thing.

Posted by: d at October 9, 2003 at 04:33 PM

Ventricle Ali.

Posted by: pooh at October 9, 2003 at 05:38 PM

Burn Palestinians Burn!

Posted by: Yankee Doodle Dandy at October 9, 2003 at 10:51 PM