October 30, 2004

WHERE YOU BIN?

Osama bin Laden is an expert on childrenís literature:

It appeared to him (Bush) that a little girl's talk about her goat and its butting was more important than the planes and their butting of the skyscrapers.

This is remarkable. Osama doesnít merely mention the title of the book Bush was reading on September 11; he describes the actual plot:

A robber arrives to steal the dad's red car! But the goat butts the robber and saves the day.

Say what you like about old Binny -- I've been saying for years that he was dead -- but you canít doubt his research skills. Welcome back to the realm of the living, Osama! Now we get to kill you properly.

UPDATE. More goat-butting news.

Posted by Tim Blair at October 30, 2004 05:14 PM
Comments

He's not that much of a researcher; just more than usually interested in goats and their butts.

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at October 31, 2004 at 02:51 AM

I hate to say it Tim, but I think you missed the big two points of the Osama tape:

1) It sounds like a Michael Moore rant. Attacking Bush for the "they hate freedom" line, saying he misleads the country, the Patriot Act takes away freedoms, the support of Israel is the cause of terrorism, Bush's administration is like a military regime/dictatorship, and of course, the 7 minutes rubbish that you talked about.

2) His whole tune has changed. There's no more "all you infidels will die in pools of infidel blood", it's now "we want peace, stop attacking us and we won't attack you". Kind of like the truce Osama offered to Europe.

I think on point 1, Moore's fans need to answer one question: How come America's greatest enemy and the person Moore supporters call America's greatest patriot share exactly the same views on so many issues? On point 2, I think it's a huge bonus for Bush that Osama is no longer talking about widespread death and destruction, but now contemplating and toning his message down. Bill Roggio said "These aren't the words of a mightly warrior worthy of the praise of the Ummah, but the words of a beaten man."

I couldn't have said it better.

Posted by: Leigh at October 31, 2004 at 02:56 AM

This sucks.

I hope that this tape doesn't hurt Bush -- and it might not, since there is no way for Kerry to capitalize on in the next three days without appearing exceedingly crass. But even if it doesn't, this sucks.

Posted by: Sean at October 31, 2004 at 03:23 AM

I guess we know what Osama's been doing the last couple years besides hiding from the rest of the world....reading kiddie books and watching Michael Moore. Well, I think the new tone is either because he's gotten smarter and realizes his normal rants will just piss off most Americans or Osama and his buddies aren't doing as well as he wants everyone to believe. My vote is on the later. He's got too big an ego to keep his face off the camera for this long if he thought he was winning. I am concerned he might try to pull off another Spain-like attack before the election. If he's smart, he won't, since that could easily backfire.

Posted by: Jeremy at October 31, 2004 at 03:35 AM

Sheik Osama Bin Laden says that Bush is the CAUSE OF THE ATTACK ON TWO TOWERS.

Jon Bush supports Israel who are attacking muslims around the world every day. In Israel the muslims do not have a vote and are forced to prey to the jewish god and must eat bacon sandwiches.

Before I was bush voter but now I vote for Jon Kery.

It is because of the Dog Bush that the Jews attacked the twin Towers and besides there was no attack it was fake by CIA liars and it is proven by the pictures and besides they deserve it anyway for supporting Israel

Vote for Joe Kerry

Posted by: An American at October 31, 2004 at 03:41 AM

I agree Leigh. Its almost as though OBL wants to be back in the nuisance catagory rather than our enemy in war.

Sure hope Americans, or atleast the majority, see this for what it is- a ploy to buy time so he can go back on the offense at a future date.

Have to wonder how this tape will be translated from English so his appeasement and weakness can be seen by his followers. Actually, I have been waiting for Muslim reaction to this tape more than the US reaction.

Posted by: tej at October 31, 2004 at 03:41 AM

An American....lol

Jon Bush and Joe Kery aren't even on the ballot. I think you are a few classes short of qualifing for citizenship.

Posted by: tej at October 31, 2004 at 03:50 AM

My first thought upon reading the transcript of that tape was: this sounds like OBL saying please don't hurt us anymore, while still trying to sound tough.

Did he release this videotape now because he honestly believes he can affect the election? I guess three years in caves and mud huts hasn't taught him much more about America than what he learned six weeks after 9/11.

Posted by: Rebecca at October 31, 2004 at 03:53 AM

Hopefully there is an upside in this. This is their Madrid? Two tapes within a week from a couple of yahoos' in caves? Hope I'm right on this!!! Another reason to vote Bush. Oops! We already have-ever so sorry about that.

Posted by: YoJImbo at October 31, 2004 at 04:12 AM

Sorry. Still dead.

A long shot of a guy talking through a full beard? Yeah. I'm convinced - NOT!

Nice try, though.

Posted by: mojo at October 31, 2004 at 04:23 AM

We are happy to co-exist with Al Qaieda! Give us some coordinates to send a peace offering!

Posted by: arlo at October 31, 2004 at 04:29 AM

I don't think OBL thinks he's beaten at all, he just thinks lots of people in the West are already on his side. It sounds to me more like the words of a guy who thinks that his ideas of the rottenesss of the West have been proven right and all he has to do is to wait it out. And he;'s obviously been getting lots of media advice from sympathisers in the West as well as say the Iranians..Sure, the message is still a little 'lost in translation', but hey, the guy's trying hard to reach out to his people on their terms--and high flown, apolcalyptic Arabic verses about rivers of blood and being the eagles of the mountain etc is left for other messages, to the Arabs.
By the way, an interesting book which profiles Osama's peregrinations since the war in Afghanistan is Yossef Bodansky's The Secret History ofthe Iraq War, He's convinced OBL and co were hosted for quite a while in Iran, and he has an interesting descruiption of them turning up in Teheran, dressed as pashtuns, with trimmed beards, turbans and shaved heads!

Posted by: sophie at October 31, 2004 at 08:40 AM

"the planes and their butting of the skyscrapers" I guess that's a "nuanced" way to put it...

Posted by: lexine at October 31, 2004 at 09:48 AM

Well of course he is right to mock that stupid Bush- if only Georgy porgy wusent so pig igurrant he would' ve realised he should have bin tellin stories to goats bout little children and lil red ridin hood in particuulars and that wus why they agreed to the joos plan to nock down them towers for redevelopment kill two boids wiv one stone or tree

Posted by: Rose at October 31, 2004 at 02:47 PM

As Mr Burns would say "release the hounds" Lets tear his sorry arse into bits. Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war. No backing down now Binny Boy, we are gonna chew you up (as long as Bush wins) Pathetic wanker. You started it and we are gonna finish it CHUMP.

Posted by: Dog at October 31, 2004 at 02:58 PM

My fellow americans!

Help me get our country back from Bush, the self confessed Christian. The War on Terror is a Fake war. There is no threat to the US.

Even Osama Bin Laden criticised Bush and says vote for Kerry!

Michael the Moor

ps,

just because I have a beard doesnt mean I am related to Osama. We just look and talk the same.

Posted by: Mike Moore at October 31, 2004 at 05:02 PM

Reminds me of "Stupid White Men" being quoted by the defence at the Bali terrorist attack trial.

But the mention of "My Pet Goat" and of oil makes me suspect the real Bin Laden isn't standing up.

What's the typefont, Kenneth?

Posted by: Andjam at October 31, 2004 at 10:30 PM