October 25, 2004

WIDE LITURGICAL REACH DEMONSTRATED

Funny man Terry Jones imagines a conversation between George W. Bush and God:

"Jews, Christians and Moslems all worship the same Me! Didn't you do comparative theology at school, George?"

"No, of course not! You think I'm some sort of peace-waving dope-headed liberal faggot-lover, God?"

"No, of course not, George, but I expect you to know something about the people you're bombing."

"Oh, come on! I know it's right to bomb those oily rag-heads until there's not one left to wipe a wrench on!"

Oddly, this piece first appeared in The Guardian, which usually canít stand such shocking invective. When itís directed at them, anyway. Speaking of God, thatís exactly what John Kerry has been doing:

Rebuking one of the most openly religious presidents in recent history, Mr. Kerry said that Christians believed in caring for the sick, housing the homeless, feeding the hungry and stopping violence but that the administration was not heeding those teachings.

Mr. Kerry demonstrated a wide liturgical reach, quoting from Matthew, James, John, Luke, the Ten Commandments and "Amazing Grace" before recalling for cheering Jews in Boca Raton how he once shouted "the Israeli people lives" in Hebrew atop Masada.

More from Saint John here:

Quoting from the Bible, Kerry said his faith had taught him that "whatever you do to the least of these, you do unto me".

"This means we have a moral obligation to one another, to the forgotten, and to those who live in the shadows," he said in an arts centre in Broward county.

Earlier, his ears ringing from soaring gospel music and cries of "Amen" and "Hallelujah," Kerry accused Bush of trying to scare America into reelecting him.

Not that Kerry is using the Bible as a campaign prop, of course.

UPDATE. Hit the archives and scroll down for earlier posts.

Posted by Tim Blair at October 25, 2004 04:24 PM
Comments

Mr. Kerry demonstrated a wide liturgical reach, quoting from Matthew, James, John, Luke, the Ten Commandments and "Amazing Grace"

And Bush is supposedly the one who wears his religion on his sleeve? Geez.

Posted by: PW at October 25, 2004 at 04:27 PM

"The Israeli people lives?" So he can be ungrammatical in Hebrew, too?

Of course, they didn't think it was so funny when he came running down off the mountain claiming he'd found the missing third tablet of Commandments...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at October 25, 2004 at 04:31 PM

Terry Jones (who also did an unspeakably bad 'history' progamme on the Crusades, where a la Michael Moore, Muslims were incapable of evil and Christians incapable of good) actually gives an interesting insight into the anti-Bush theories of the chattering classes. Namely, that everything in the world that is bad is started by America (particularly Bush), and that the terrorism, beheadings etc. that we see are as nothing compared to the evils of the US, and anyway, they started it. On the other hand, this is what we keep hearing from terror apologists.
It would be amusing if it wasn't repeated so often, by people who really should know better.
By the way, GREAT cartoon in 'The Age'today, accompanying Cohen's article on how the ALP is now anti-Semitic. Being a Luddite, I can't link to it. Sorry.

Posted by: Andrew at October 25, 2004 at 04:55 PM

Mr. Kerry said "that Christians believed in caring for the sick, housing the homeless, feeding the hungry and stopping violence....

Well, fuck you Mr.Kerry, feed the homeless to the hungry. As for stopping violence, that's another left-wing pipe dream, we are biologically programmed for group conflict.

Posted by: Major L.M.Bloomfield at October 25, 2004 at 05:02 PM

"whatever you do to the least of these..."

No longer operative, now that "the least of these" means unborn humans whose Right To Life gets overriden by the juggernaut that is the Right To Lifestyle.

Posted by: Uncle Milk at October 25, 2004 at 05:34 PM

The "Bush talks to God!" whine again?

Yawn.

Posted by: Quentin George at October 25, 2004 at 05:36 PM

This is a game that we can all play - validating our prejudices by putting words in other people's mouths. It requires neither wit nor intelligence

Posted by: rexie at October 25, 2004 at 06:33 PM

Here's The Age article by Barry Cohen about anti-Semitism in the ALP --

The Anti-Semitic Labor Party

Posted by: walterplinge at October 25, 2004 at 06:45 PM

Kerry will use anything including religion in his pandering. What hypocrisy.
Everything he spouted is just the opposite of him in real life.

And this guy?
"we are biologically programmed for group conflict."
Hits it out of the ballpark.

One thing ol' Kerry doesn't realize. After all of the scandals of the '80s and '90s of evangelists his poor performance will be a total turnoff.
I mean, get real, political handhelds in a church during a service?
Maybe he'd have been affective if he had stood up there and shot off that 8000 dollar shotgun at the vapour geese flocking on the ceiling.

Posted by: mshyde at October 25, 2004 at 07:29 PM

Might upset some people with this, ... but too bad!

The guys who died on top of Masada were Sicarii - named for the knives they carried hidden upon their persons. They were "religious" extremists who assassinated people they thought were collaborating with the Romans (e.g., at least one High Priest) but, like the fellows who were holed up in the Fallujah mosque and left all the empty booze bottles behind, they seem to have been picky about which religious rules they kept. Apparently they consumed a fair amount of pork before they all committed suicide.

At the start of the war they teamed up with the Zealots in Jerusalem for a while but shot through to Masada once Titus really started putting the pressure on. Some of them appear to have escaped to Egypt before Masada too was eventually captured and there they caused the occasional bit of trouble until, I suppose, they all died off.

Ah. The human condition.

Posted by: Janice at October 25, 2004 at 07:38 PM

I am greatful to go to a church that would never pimp out its pulpit to a politian..we are busy with that anachronistic notion of preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Posted by: debbie at October 25, 2004 at 08:46 PM

"how he once shouted "the Israeli people lives" in Hebrew atop Masada."

And then shouted "The Birds is Coming!" at a Harvard-area repertory movie house.

Posted by: Mike G at October 25, 2004 at 08:51 PM

Don't get too excited over "The Israeli people lives!" He's right.

Given his track record, I doubt whether he actually said this, but the grammar is fine.

From the American Heritage Dictionary, "As a term meaning ďa body of persons sharing a culture,Ē people is a singular noun..." and that's how he used it.

Posted by: Murray at October 25, 2004 at 10:00 PM
he once shouted "the Israeli people lives" in Hebrew atop Masada.

Did he get a purple heart for straining his vocal chords?

Posted by: Clem Snide at October 25, 2004 at 10:12 PM

Charlie Brooker, in a recent Guardian article, said Kerry looked and sounded like a haunted tree. The man has a way with words.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at October 25, 2004 at 11:00 PM

Somebody had to know they were coming.
The Iraqi security forces are, naturally, infiltrated.
I dunno. Is the US still advertising for steno help in the crypto/ops office at the nearest Wahhabi mosque/VC enlisted club?

Posted by: Richard Aubrey at October 25, 2004 at 11:00 PM

Kerry: Christians believed in caring for the sick, housing the homeless, feeding the hungry and stopping violence but that the administration was not heeding those teachings.

According to Kerry's tax returns, for several years in the 90s Kerry made zero to nominal contributions to charity.

Senator Kerry, until you and your wife sell four of your five mansions and your private $35 million jet and donated the proceeds to the poor, don't take money from me in the name of charity.

Posted by: perfectsense at October 25, 2004 at 11:14 PM

perfectsense is right.
Christians do believe that people have a responsibility to look after their neighbors.
Socialists believe that it's the responsibility of government.

Posted by: SPY at October 25, 2004 at 11:28 PM

"Rebuking one of the most openly religious presidents in recent history, Mr. Kerry said that Christians believed in caring for the sick, housing the homeless, feeding the hungry and stopping violence but that the administration was not heeding those teachings. "

That is such a laugh! He wants our money to do all those things! As for Charity? President Bush donates more than a 10th of his annual salary every year, as shown by IRS records, yet the most sKerry has donated in the past 5 years is $850.00, not 1000th of his income. And he only paid 12.5% in taxes, while President Bush paid his full 26% or so! Talk about a hypocrite!

Posted by: DagneyT at October 25, 2004 at 11:34 PM

Jones hasn't been paying attention. Why would Bush want to bomb his masters (aka, "oily rag-heads"). He need to go watch F911 again and get his story straight.

Posted by: daniel at October 25, 2004 at 11:49 PM

There was a weak link in Monty Python.

Posted by: Larado at October 26, 2004 at 12:20 AM
Don't get too excited over "The Israeli people lives!" He's right.
How about "I want me a huntin' license." Posted by: Ernie G at October 26, 2004 at 12:42 AM

As a right-wing religious Israeli, I'd like to point out that there is simply no good reason for an adult to shout "The Nation of Israel lives" ("Am Yisrael Khai", which is obviously what he said) on top of Massada, unless one intended to use that in a political campain.

Posted by: maor at October 26, 2004 at 01:11 AM

Stick to comedy Terry cause your political instincts are idiotic.

Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge at October 26, 2004 at 01:53 AM

Ernie,

That was either pandering or a jab at a target he thought too dumb to get it. Or both.

Posted by: Murray at October 26, 2004 at 02:28 AM

Does anyone really realize how bad of a candidate Kerry is? He has almost complete favorable coverage from the media while his opponent has the exact opposite. The internet bubble broke right before his opponent took office so that the economic news, while recovering, isn't enough to run on alone, three airliners were hi-jacked and crashed into high profile buildings provoking a war that is being covered in a manner unflattering to his opponent, oil is around $55 a barrel and potentially rising to $60. Despite all these advantages, he does not lead in the popular vote (via polls), he does not lead in the electoral college (via polls), and he has to have paid armies of lawyers waiting to descend on states in order to create election day protests to attempt to delay the certification of a winner so he can try to win it in the courts.

Everything he says is eventually shown to be in direct contridiction to how he runs his personal life, and every policy he has has changed a number of times depending on who he is speaking to. He has resorted to stating out and out lies regarding Bush's policies on the draft and social security, and supporting the stupid national guard story, even while he himself very likely did not originally receive an honorable discharge and so will not release his navy records.

He is a joke and the reason he will not win is because you cannot win an election being the anti-candidate. If all he is, is "not-George-Bush", he is doomed.

Posted by: JEM at October 26, 2004 at 03:21 AM

JEM. No, this is all fresh ground here. I'm certainly glad that this is coming out into the open before the election. Maybe there is still a chance for President Bush.

Posted by: YoJimbo at October 26, 2004 at 04:44 AM

Kerry is the perfect modern Christian.

Split off from modern Christianity is a theology of real sacrifice, of evil, asceticism and the temptations of the things of the world, including (and most particularly) the Big Ideas of the moment. It's the gospels according to Howard Dean, who himself was an idiot of spectacular proportions when it came to Christian faith.

What remains is the watery humanitarianism of Kerry (who is also at the same, an effing opportunistic hypocrite), which has already suckered itself to The State and which seeks to heal through prosperity and plenty. I don't think that this was what Jesus had in mind.

I'm not arguing in favor of Christianity here, but I am saying that Kerry isn't even on the first page of the Reader's Digest version. This man's an imbecile, and people like him are found in the New Testament, usually on The Other Side.

Posted by: Rhod at October 26, 2004 at 06:13 AM

Terry Jones, and others like him, have a very peculiar view of Bush. They accuse him of hating Muslims and being racist. It is Bush, however, who takes the view that Arabs and Muslims are real, grown-up people who can rule themselves and are fit to take responsibility for their own actions. It is Bush, and his terrible neo-con advisors and supporters, who believes that the words of The Declaration apply to Muslims as well as to Americans: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, and that among these rights are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness..."

It is the Terry Jones'es of the world, the Chiracs and the Kerrys and the Moores, who think Muslims are a bunch of ragheads who can't rule themselves, so they must have a bloody-handed Saddam to rule them by terror. Even Arabs believe this. It is they who are the vicious racists.

Posted by: Michael Lonie at October 26, 2004 at 02:37 PM

..."we have a moral obligation to one another, to the forgotten, and to those who live in the shadows."

Except in the Hanoi Hilton, evidently.

Or the Soviet gulags. Or the Lao Gai. Or Cuba's Political prisons. Or Saddam's rape rooms. Or...

Posted by: Noel at October 26, 2004 at 02:47 PM

Fucking hell, how many times does Bush have to call Islam a "religion of peace", praise Arabs as good people and liberate millions of Muslims from tyranny before the Left will accept he likely isn't an anti-Muslim bigot.

Plus, even if you are a anti-Bush conspiracy-theorist on the level of Michael Moore, you STILL can't argue Bush is anti-Muslim. If he was anti-Muslim why would he be "cosying up" with Saudi princes.

Fuck, I give up. In the world of the left, reality is whatever you make it.

Posted by: Quentin George at October 26, 2004 at 05:53 PM

"In the world of the left, reality is whatever you make it."

Quentin, that is exactly their problem.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at October 27, 2004 at 12:46 AM

Fucking hell, how many times does Bush have to call Islam a "religion of peace", praise Arabs as good people and liberate millions of Muslims from tyranny before the Left will accept he likely isn't an anti-Muslim bigot.

But...Muslims want to be ruled by ruthless dictators who murder people at their whim, and Bush took away one of the best they had, and he also neutralized Ghaddafi...how much more anti-Muslim can you get?

/sarcasm

Posted by: PW at October 27, 2004 at 07:06 AM

Its just like the gay marriage ammendment Kerry supports. You should trust Kerry because he doesnt really mean what he says.

?

Posted by: Mark Buehner at October 28, 2004 at 01:28 AM