October 03, 2004


"John Kerry, a lean athlete who is the picture of health as he skis, skates, cycles and windsurfs, is in robust condition," reports the New York Times.

He also looks great doing this. Go, go, go, Johnny Nuance!

Johnny Nuance! Johnny Nuance!
From the shores of Martha’s Vineyard he rode his horse out West,
With a treaty in his holster and a medal on his chest,
Bringing law and justice to a wild and violent land,
Talking was his creed and sanctions were his brand!
Johnny Nuance! Johnny Nuance! (Hyahhh!)
Outlaws feared his blazing pen!

(Via LGF and Robert Musil)

Posted by Tim Blair at October 3, 2004 03:38 PM

Since Australia is an ally - the only fair thing to do with this picture is host a "Caption Contest" like they are doing in America (Little Green Footballs, Blogs for Bush). We Americans shouldn't be the only ones thinking of appropriate captions.

I'll start.

John Kerry today showed voters his newest position in the War on Terror.

Posted by: Kathleen A at October 3, 2004 at 03:51 PM

He also looks great doing this.

Already Photoshopped.

Posted by: Michael at October 3, 2004 at 06:32 PM

Take my Hand and lead me 'where'
Take my and I'll be fair
I'll talk and lead and stretch my hand
and my allies will soon respond

Posted by: Rose at October 3, 2004 at 06:58 PM

Picture of health? He looks like a badly preserved mummy.

As for all his skiing and windsurfing, I wonder how much time he devotes to those - as opposed to just dressing up in the right costume and posing for the photographers. I don't follow football but the idea of a quick game on a tarmac, while wearing shirt-and-tie and dress shoes, is...unconvincing.

Posted by: Annalucia at October 3, 2004 at 11:16 PM

I want that Johnny Nuance Deluxe Junior Negotiator Kit from Plastico for talks with my teen. Thanks for the lead, Iowahawk!

Posted by: c at October 4, 2004 at 02:33 AM

Annalucia — That's Boston Rules football, darlin'...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at October 4, 2004 at 04:44 AM

What all this smoke and mirrors is hiding is that Kerry still hasn't fully released his medical records.

Posted by: Gideon at October 4, 2004 at 06:47 AM

Annalucia, I don't believe I've ever seen anybody put his head between his legs to throw a football, either.

Posted by: Rebecca at October 4, 2004 at 07:05 AM

The Times ran that hideous sentence at the beginning of a story on the front page, above the fold.

I wonder who they'll be endorsing in the national election.


Posted by: Walt at October 4, 2004 at 07:54 AM

Good to see, "a lot of really good people working hard" here. It's "hard work", trying to make an indifferent puppet look presidential, next to someone who's clearly across the material.

Even the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Mort Kondracke could see your fly boy looked amateurish, disinterested and, at the very least, was very poorly briefed. If the debate showed anything, it was you need more than today's "talking points" to be President.

Unless ruthless spin, and a truckload of "mixed messages" and "diversions" from the blogheads win the day, come November your boy won't even be passing the American test, let alone the global test.

Posted by: Miranda Divide at October 4, 2004 at 08:33 AM

And meanwhile, elsewhere in America, the Cubbies go down. Yet again. sigh.

Posted by: Joe Bagadonuts at October 4, 2004 at 09:07 AM

Wanna bet miranda?

Posted by: gubbaboy at October 4, 2004 at 09:17 AM

John Kerry reminds me of John Kennedy. Kerry is hiding his medical records and showing athleticism in order to distract from possible health problems. I've been suspicious from early on. Anyone else remember Paul Tsongas in 1992 swimming vigorously to "prove" that he didn't have the cancer that killed him later. C'mon Kerry. Release your medical records.

Posted by: JorgXMcKie at October 4, 2004 at 09:27 AM

Ah Miranda, Bush was tired. He spent the day inspecting the damage the hurricanes did and consoling the victims of those storms, not resting and getting a stylish manicure as Kerry did.

Kerry is clueless, living in a perpetual September 10, like the guy in Groundhog Day. His conception of strategy has never progressed beyond that of a rather dimbulb LT jg. Bush has implemented policies of great sophistication and long-sighted importance. He has difficulty articulating them. Kerry is smoothly skilled in articulating a disguise for the utter lack of substance and realism in his proposals. He is a stylish empty suit. He is clueless.

Perhaps you would prefer it in French, the language of sophisticated nuance that JFK likes so much. Monsieur Kerry ne sais rien de rien.

Posted by: Michael Lonie at October 4, 2004 at 09:50 AM

Equally important, Michael, Bush has substance. Kerry is smoke and mirrors, changing his position to suit the audience.

Bush, for all his faults and mistakes, is a more able executive than Kerry (based on his lack of Senate leadership experience) ever will be.

So sneer away, Miranda. Perhaps you will get your wish, and see John Kerry elected as President; I believe that Bush will win, but one never knows until the votes are counted. I sincerely hope Kerry loses....."President" Kerry would be a disaster for Western civilization. Regardless of the race potential, I will vote Bush.

But at least my eyes and mind are open, and not blinded by hatred and prejudice, like you are.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at October 4, 2004 at 11:36 AM

The football is just peripheral - this is actually John Kerry demonstrating the initial steps in his patented 'head up ass' exercise routine.

Posted by: bkayel at October 4, 2004 at 12:12 PM

Kerry is clueless, living in a perpetual September 10, like the guy in Groundhog Day.

Now, that's not very nice towards Bill Murray's character. It took him vastly less than 30 years to recognize how much of an idiot he was. Kerry isn't even there yet.

Posted by: PW at October 4, 2004 at 04:21 PM

That's not playing football. That stance is asking for a defensive lineman to snap your neck as he runs over you to get to the quarterback. No quarterback would play behind a noseguard who has to look back while snapping the ball.

Posted by: KBiel at October 5, 2004 at 02:40 AM