September 30, 2004
HOW TO ...
Today’s New York Times runs a piece entitled "How to Debate George Bush" ... written by Al Gore.
Next week in the New York Times:
How to Be a Journalist, by Dan Rather
How to Lead a Low-Key Lifestyle, by Paris Hilton
How to Compress Quotes, by Maureen Dowd
How to Peacefully Advance the Muslim Cause, by Osama Bin Laden
How to Barbecue Fucking Huge Steaks, by Karen Carpenter
How to Bowl, by Mutiah Muralitharan
How to Romance Poor White Trash, by John Kerry
Offer further NYT article ideas in comments.
Posted by Tim Blair at September 30, 2004 05:35 AMHow to defeat the New York Yankees, by the Boston Red Sox.
Posted by: Rob at September 30, 2004 at 05:36 AMThe Keys to a Successful Marriage, co-written by Zsa Zsa Gabor and Elizabeth Taylor
Posted by: Inspector Callahan at September 30, 2004 at 05:44 AMHow to Win Friends and Influence People, by Teresa Heinz-Kerry
The Key to Self-Mastery, by Howard Dean, MD
Posted by: OH Boy at September 30, 2004 at 05:54 AMHow to Lead a Chaste Lifestyle, by Jenna Jameson.
Posted by: Roger Bournival at September 30, 2004 at 06:09 AM"How to Make Friends in Chicago" by Steve Bartman
Posted by: Aaron at September 30, 2004 at 06:11 AM"Healthy Student-Teacher Relations" by Mary Kay Latourneau
Posted by: Aaron at September 30, 2004 at 06:13 AMHumility and Tolerance -The Liberal Elite
Rob,
This is the year!
"Lose weight now, ask me how" by Michael Moore
Posted by: Damian P. at September 30, 2004 at 06:32 AMHow to ally Islam and the West, by Rodriguez Zapatero and Al-Zawhari
Posted by: Rocio, from Spain at September 30, 2004 at 06:33 AMHow to Defeat Terrorism by Promoting Democracy and Western Values in the Middle East by Robert Fisk.
(Whatever happened to that guy, anyway? This is the longest I've gone without reading something about him since that glorious day in Aghanistan three years ago when an angry mob beat the shit out of him.)
Posted by: Lawrence at September 30, 2004 at 06:35 AMThe Power Of Positive Thinking, by Baghdad Bob
Decorating on a Budget, by Saddam Hussein
How to keep your integrity, by the CBS News Team
Posted by: JohnFNWayne at September 30, 2004 at 06:49 AMHow to convince allies to stay that way
By John Kerry
Posted by: Gary at September 30, 2004 at 07:05 AM"The Classic Guide to Better Writing: Step-by-Step Techniques and Exercises to Write Simply, Clearly, and Correctly" by Margo Kingston
Posted by: Randal Robinson at September 30, 2004 at 07:27 AMHow to Spread Warmrth and Laughter Wherever You Go, by Carrot Top
Posted by: Jim Treacher at September 30, 2004 at 07:35 AMHow to ask taxi drivers for the shortest way home by Mark Latham.
Posted by: gubbaboy at September 30, 2004 at 07:50 AM"Protesting Government Power: A Subtle Approach"
by Timothy McVeigh
How to Maintain Marriage Vows by Bill Clinton
(alternatively)
How to Have Hot Sex with Your Spouse by Bill Clinton
Posted by: Melissa at September 30, 2004 at 08:00 AM"How to make a decision and stick to it" by John Kerry
Posted by: nameht at September 30, 2004 at 08:45 AM"Reloading and the art of machine gun maintainance" by Dianne Feinstein
Posted by: Daran at September 30, 2004 at 08:52 AMKids! Build This Flying Bicycle! by Wilber and Orville Wright
Posted by: Ron Hardin at September 30, 2004 at 09:01 AM"Learning From Your Errors: How To Make Sure You Won't Make the Same Damn-Fool Mistake a Second Time," by Dan Rather and the Folks at CBS News.
Posted by: Stephen M. St. Onge at September 30, 2004 at 09:06 AM"How to pick up a Texas drawl even when the rest of your family have nice patrician Yankee accents" - George aWol Bush
Posted by: Albatross2147 at September 30, 2004 at 09:12 AM"How to avoid criminal prosecution after causing a fatal road accident" - Laura Bush
Posted by: Albatross2147 at September 30, 2004 at 09:14 AM"How to lose an election to a dead man" - Jihn Ashcroft
Posted by: Albatross2147 at September 30, 2004 at 09:16 AM"Overcoming early onset Alzheimer's" Gearge W Bush and Alan Bond
Posted by: Albatross2147 at September 30, 2004 at 09:20 AMHitchhiking Australia by Ivan Molloy... no wait Milat, I meant MILAT!
Posted by: fidens at September 30, 2004 at 09:32 AMHow to Introduce Fresh New Topics to Internet Comment Threads, by Albatross2147.
Posted by: Andrea Harris at September 30, 2004 at 09:40 AM"Dictatorships for Dummies" by Jimmah Cartuh.
Posted by: Joe Bagadonuts at September 30, 2004 at 09:44 AMSuppressing Your Gag Reflex, by Albatross2417.
Comes With Free Step by Step Video
"How to get a Great Tan," by John Kerry
"Life in a Calm, Dry Climate," by Andrea Harris (heh)
Posted by: Sean M. at September 30, 2004 at 11:25 AMHow To Live A Drug Free Lifestyle, by Albatross2147
Supervising Young and Attractive Women In A Professional Manner, by Bill Clinton
Posted by: The Real JeffS at September 30, 2004 at 11:31 AM"How to beat North Vietnam" by John Kerry (with an introduction by Jane Fonda).
Posted by: Sean P at September 30, 2004 at 11:36 AM"How to Keep Your Love Forever: Keys to a Long-Lasting Marriage" by Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez.
Posted by: dorkafork at September 30, 2004 at 11:57 AM"Accurate Navigation in South-East Asian Water Ways" by J Kerry
Posted by: Kiwi Dave at September 30, 2004 at 11:58 AMLocal government within a budget by Mark Latham.
Health care policies within a budget by Mark Latham.
Entertaining the in-laws by Mark Latham.
Tolerating terrorist-lovers by Mark Latham.
Reviving Gough Government by Mark Latham.
Winning the 2004 election by Mark Latham.
Hang onto Your Hats, it Looks Like Mark Latham's Gonna Win and Tim Blair was Right by Slatts.
"How to be 'just one of the guys' at sports events" by John Kerry
Posted by: PW at September 30, 2004 at 12:14 PM"Which Country is that? (Christmas '68 ed)" by John Kerry
Posted by: Just Another Bloody Lawyer at September 30, 2004 at 12:49 PM"Maintaining Your Second Amendment Rights" by Archlinga
Posted by: YoJimbo at September 30, 2004 at 01:04 PM"How To Win Friends and Influence Enemies" by Miranda Divide
Posted by: YoJimbo at September 30, 2004 at 01:06 PM"How To Win A War Every Time" by the French Military
Posted by: Jim C. at September 30, 2004 at 01:20 PMMargo Kingston's Beauty Hints
The op.ed Piece - how to make it accurate, orginial and interesting by Phillip Adams
How To Assure Victory In '04 - by John F. Kerry
Posted by: rinardman at September 30, 2004 at 01:53 PM"The Basics of Photographic Art" by Lynddie England
Posted by: marten at September 30, 2004 at 01:56 PM"How to talk to grown-ups without embarassing yourself"
" 'Throw away those Pills!' Mental-health, the non-medicated way"
" 'Get a haircut (and a real job)'. A how-to guide for grant recipients and street-theatre artists"
Albatross2147
Upgrade your Motion Picture - Tastefully! by George Lucas
High-Performance Wet-Weather Tire Design by Pierre Dupasquier (for us F1 nerds)
"How to box with oldies made easy" by Mark "Scary" Latham
"How to be an Alpha Male" by Antony Lowenstein & Margo Kingston
"How To Build Respect and Readership" by Niall Cook.
Posted by: yobbo at September 30, 2004 at 04:01 PMHow to be patriotic by left wing media
How to focus anger at perpetrators by left wing media
How to be impartial by......
"I was Ho Chi Minh's Bitch." by John Kerry
"Farting Cows: An Unflinching look at Their Destructive Effect on the Environment and You" by Jacque Cousteau (ghost written by Margaret Cho.)
How to edit a magazine with integrity by Robert Manne
Posted by: Sue at September 30, 2004 at 10:02 PMA guide to Constitutional Government, by Bill Clinton
How to sound credible, by Muhammad Sayeed al-Sahaf (formely Information Minister of Iraq, now on administrative leave)
Posted by: Sheriff at October 1, 2004 at 01:26 AM"Evolution of Fonts and Type Styles Through the Ages" - Dan Rather and Mary Mapes
Posted by: Joe Bonforte at October 1, 2004 at 01:28 AM"The Joy of Receiving Email From Your Readers" by Steven Den Beste
(If Steven could resist doing an article on Rathergate, he must really be gone for good.)
Posted by: Joe Bonforte at October 1, 2004 at 01:34 AM"How to be gracious winners" - the Brisbane Lions
"How to be even more gracious losers" - the Brisbane Lions
"My mate the taxi driver" - Mark Latham
"How to get a suntan at a football match" - John Kerry
"Weight Loss made easy" - Kim Beazley
Posted by: Driver at October 1, 2004 at 02:00 AM"Practical Application of 'Worm Holes' in Political Discourse" by John F Kerry
Posted by: YoJimbo at October 1, 2004 at 02:12 AMHow to Become a Favorite Commenter and Never Get Banned From an Internet Site, by "tug."
Posted by: Andrea Harris at October 1, 2004 at 11:57 AM"How to drop acid in public without anyone noticing" by Al Gore
Posted by: Sean P at October 1, 2004 at 12:55 PM