July 20, 2004

COLLECTIVISM IS A GOOD IDEA

Leninís brain explained:

For decades it was no more than a whispered rumour in the corridors of Soviet medicine but now a team of doctors claim to have proved that Lenin, communism's greatest icon, died of syphilis.

The team says Lenin's syphilis caused brain damage and later dementia in the last two years of his life.

Commie dementia mustíve been hella infectious. People are still suffering from it.

Posted by Tim Blair at July 20, 2004 05:15 PM
Comments

All that communal loving will get you in the end.

Posted by: JakeD at July 20, 2004 at 05:57 PM

I think we finally have an explanation for Mark Moford.

Posted by: Sean M. at July 20, 2004 at 06:53 PM

F-----g an entire country you must catch something

Posted by: Le clerc at July 20, 2004 at 09:16 PM

But Tim, read the article. It's the Izra-eelis that say this lie - the Izra-eelis, the ones who tried to kill Beloved Comrade Stalin in 1953 and are trying to kill Beloved Comrade Arafat now. The Izra-eelis - the Izra-eelis! Are you all blind?

Posted by: Martin Morgan at July 21, 2004 at 12:26 AM

Lenin put communism on the map,
Even though he had the clap.
This must make Marx pretty sick,
'cos he had a drippy dick.

But what about old Fidel,
his trousers have an awful smell.
And the North Korean known as Kim,
He's caught horrors from the quim.

Even hero General Giap,
Has been plagued by the clap,
No wonder he went for year dot,
when crabs infested dear Pol Pot.

Posted by: Habib at July 21, 2004 at 01:01 AM

You sound like Ray Smuckles! Why not just say "Lenin was ten kinds of diseased"?

And for Habib:

"Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch.
Got the blue balls, crabs, and the seven year itch!"

Posted by: Joe Geoghegan at July 21, 2004 at 01:22 AM

Some people say that Stalin, Mussolini and Hitler all had syphilis too

Other famous syphilitics include:
Idi Amin
John Batman (founder of Melbourne)
Al Capone
Winston Churchill's father
Robert Mugabe
Napoleon
Bram Stoker (wrote Count Dracula)

Posted by: peggy sue at July 21, 2004 at 01:34 AM

It is well known that Chairman Mao had diseased teeth and that the poison went to his brain and drove him mad.

Mao, genius that he is, did not use toothpaste or bursh his teeth. He instead relied on green tea to kill plaque.

Posted by: George at July 21, 2004 at 02:25 AM

Thanks for the info. It's kind of comforting to know The Great Man might have been pursued by the ghostly hallucinations of some of his millions of victims during his final days. Despite my efforts to be forgiving and understanding (...nah), it's a fate I would wish on all murderous tyrants.

Posted by: Rebecca at July 21, 2004 at 04:41 AM

It's good to know that John Batman's brain was rotten with syphilis when he founded Melbourne. That would explain a lot.

Posted by: mr magoo at July 21, 2004 at 02:35 PM

For Habib:

Lenin, Lenin got the clap
Stupid old bugger, silly old sap;
Only ones worse than him:
Uncle Ho and Auntie Kim.
Chairman Mao's dong was oh so sick
Even Madam wouldn't lick;
Batman's brain was completely rotten
Chose a site best forgotten;
Now you've listened to my story,
All the rest is ancient history.

Posted by: Freddyboy at July 21, 2004 at 04:21 PM