July 02, 2004


Saddam Hussein enjoys his day in court. Would it kill him to smile once or twice? Nobody likes a frowny dictator.

Meanwhile, Saddam’s former victims -- normal Iraqis -- are speaking out in the wake of kidnappings and beheadings:

"This is a terrible thing," said Ali Hashim, 33, a shoe salesman in downtown Baghdad. "Hostage-taking, beheading . . . it's not our tradition. We have a tradition of hospitality. This hurts the image of the Iraqi people."

"These beheadings destroy the image of the Iraqi people and shows them as uncivilized," said Saad Abdel Ali, 54, an electrical supply salesman. "It is being done by outsiders," he said.

And some, as ever, blame the Americans:

"Beheading and hostage-taking are not legitimate in Islamic law," said Riyadh Hussein, the white-turbaned imam of a soaring new mosque in downtown Baghdad. He suggested that the hostage-takings were the result of some unspecified conspiracy. "I have no doubt some of our people gloat over it. But this is being done to destroy the image of the resistance and the image of Muslims in the rest of the world. I feel there are some pockets of extremists in the Islamic world who are motivated and manipulated by Americans or others."

UPDATE. Perhaps Firas Adnan should be called during Saddam's trial:

Firas Adnan need only open his mouth to give evidence of Saddam Hussein's legacy.

Just before the regime fell, the 24-year-old labourer quarrelled with a Saddam loyalist, who punished him by excising his tongue with a box-cutter.

That was March 5, two weeks before the start of the war on Iraq. He was not released until mid-April. "Had the regime not fallen, they would have executed me," he says.

"Had the regime not fallen." How those words must annoy Yasmin Alibhai-Brown.

Posted by Tim Blair at July 2, 2004 03:09 AM

Saddam should be made to defend himself at every trial detailing his complicity in thousands and thousands of atrocities. Forever. Much better sentence than the death sentence.

Posted by: jafa at July 2, 2004 at 03:47 AM

Riyadh Hussein????

Does anyone else find this name a bit... unusual?

Or does his comment fit w/his name.

Posted by: Sandy P at July 2, 2004 at 03:56 AM

The truth is out. We were never after oil, that was just a cover. What we really wanted were... heads.

Posted by: Rebecca at July 2, 2004 at 04:09 AM

I thought that the new Glass Factory on the outskirts of Basra being built by Haliburton (But it is invisble see, and black budget) was the reason for going to war, or maybe we will drain the Shaat Al Arab for that dangerous chemical Dihydrogen Monoxide which I convinced a lefty kills more people every year than chemical weapons hence needs to be kept away from the public.

Posted by: JBB at July 2, 2004 at 04:55 AM

"But this is being done to destroy the image of the resistance and the image of Muslims in the rest of the world. I feel there are some pockets of extremists in the Islamic world who are motivated and manipulated by Americans or others."

Maybe it's something in the Dihydrogen Monoxide.

Posted by: Bruce Rheinstein at July 2, 2004 at 05:14 AM

Here's an interesting article on the history of Saddam's Name.

Posted by: thx-1138 at July 2, 2004 at 05:21 AM


Your handlers at Area 51 called--you are reminded you ARE NOT to play with the keyboard. A computer in not a toy.


Posted by: Rick at July 2, 2004 at 06:41 AM

I'm putting together a list to assist Saddam with his defense. I'm sure all you Ozzies and Harriets have some excellent ideas, too. We'd love to hear them.

Posted by: Ken Summers at July 2, 2004 at 06:45 AM

Plz hlp me. I m stk n Area 51. I cnt mak reel argumints and mst resrt to slndr und jokes.

Posted by: thx-1138 at July 2, 2004 at 06:46 AM

Thank you for supporting Operation Vowel Storm, Thx. You're not so bad then. The people of war-torn, vowel-challenged Bosnia will appreciate it.

Posted by: Eric Jablow at July 2, 2004 at 06:58 AM

"...weapons given to him by Britain and America...", according to George Galloway. (For anyone who still doesn't know who he is, Galloway is a barking moonbat.)

Iraq used T-55 T-62 tanks, BM-21 Stalin Organ rocket launchers, and Mi-24 helicopter gunships in the Iran-Iraq war.

Iraq's air force used MiG-21 and MiG-23 fighter-bombers more than any other types in the air war, starting in 1980.

Iraq used radar-guided and heatseeking surface-to-air missiles (SAMs), including the Soviet SA-2, SA-3, SA-6, SA-7, SA-8, SA-9, SA-13, SA-14, and SA-16, and the Franco-German Roland. (They also had Crotale and Aspide missiles for their handful of French Mirages.)

Their artillery was almost all Soviet types.

American-made kit included a dozen or two Korean-war era tanks, and a handful of civilian-type helicopters usable for training, none of them functional by the early '90s.

What, you thought 'net resources like globalsecurity.org and histories of the Iran-Iraq war aren't available for easy access?

Or is that just your fallback position for taking Galloway's word, instead of actually checking facts?

Good old George Galloway, the MP who greeted Saddam in 1994 with the words "Sir, I salute your courage, your strength, your indefatigability."

In an interview last year, Galloway is quoted as saying "If you are asking did I support the Soviet Union, yes I did . . . The disappearance of the Soviet Union is the biggest catastrophe of my life."

Posted by: SteveH at July 2, 2004 at 07:10 AM

You know, if Saddam went to war against Iran as a tool of Amerikkka, he really should have insisted they gave him something better than that Soviet junk first.

Posted by: Bruce Rheinstein at July 2, 2004 at 07:22 AM

Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A, E, I, O, and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.

"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavor."

The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Movement by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's", will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels.

"My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnijkln, 44, said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one 'E.' Please."

Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream."

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L's S's and T's.

Posted by: thx-1138 at July 2, 2004 at 07:23 AM

SteveH, wouldn't this also be the same George Galloway who accepted some rather large "paychecks" from Saddam? Hmm...

Posted by: Ken Summers at July 2, 2004 at 07:38 AM

...BM-21 Stalin Organ rocket launchers...

"Modeled on our glorious and well-endowed Soviet leader..."

Posted by: Varenius at July 2, 2004 at 07:51 AM

I just referred to The Onion's Operation Vowel Storm story, Thx. You just had to plagarize it, changing 'Storm' to 'Movement' in one place. Bad Thx.

Posted by: Eric Jablow at July 2, 2004 at 08:03 AM

Here's a nice picture, which I am sure you have all seen, of Rumsfeld meeting with Saddam back in Dec of 1993.

Here's a document from the State Dept, dated Nov 1, 1983, expressing support for Saddam.

This document talks about the possibility of giving Iraq militry aid, including equipment, back in 83.

Posted by: thx-1138 at July 2, 2004 at 08:05 AM

umm, Eric, I copied that word for word. I did a search using the words onion and vowel and the first match listed it as "Operation Vowel Movement" (a play on bowel movement, I take it). And since The Onion now charges to look at their archives, I couldn't check there. God, I can't even put up a friendly/funny post without getting shit.

Posted by: thx-1138 at July 2, 2004 at 08:17 AM

And you can't put up someone else's article without attribution (and you can't put up the entire fucking article here) without getting banned. Do it again, thx9999, and say good-bye to being able to comment here. Capisce?

Posted by: Andrea Harris at July 2, 2004 at 08:25 AM

[Great going you waste of skin. You have been banned, whoever you are, you pimple-dicked, saggy-scrotumed, mouth-breathing anus-picker. -- The Management.]

Posted by: Anus Picker at July 2, 2004 at 08:37 AM


Perhaps I should have inserted a phrase like “As The Onion wrote a few years ago…” into my original post. That would have kept others from quoting or misquoting it. I just assumed everyone knew the provenance of the reference. Well, we all know what ‘assume’ means.

I'm sorry I led Thx into error.

Posted by: Eric Jablow at July 2, 2004 at 08:40 AM

thank you Eric.

[And you are now banned, IP address who called himself "Michael Moore" and posted an entire post of mine just to be all defiant and cute. Like your new name, cutie? -- The Management.]

Posted by: thx-1138 (aka ANUS PICKER) at July 2, 2004 at 08:41 AM

Eric, you may have led Anus Picker 1138 into error, but he didn't have to stay there.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at July 2, 2004 at 09:00 AM

Here is a picture of Saddam and Chirac together in 1975, discussing a nuclear reactor, which the French would build for them.

As has been pointed out, the weapons systems that the Iraqis used were Soviet and French, primarily, not American. And yes, we did 'support' Saddam; does Tehran, US Embassy, Hostages ring a bell? Oh, and to add to it, does Iran-Contra ring a bell? Have you ever heard of playing both ends against the middle? The war did a nice job of draining both countries of resources and manpower.

Posted by: Crusader at July 2, 2004 at 09:01 AM

The left is all about "nuance" and "shades of gray" and "not labelling things as either simply evil or good" until Amerikkka actually engages in activity that follows that criteria. At the time of the Iran takeover by the Ayatollah-ites Saddam Hussein was seen as the lesser of two evils. But I guess that's a little too "nuanced" for the blind Bush-haters.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at July 2, 2004 at 10:55 AM

The Iranian revolution was all Bush's fault!

Posted by: PW at July 2, 2004 at 11:30 AM

I saw a picture once of Saddam with a little English kid named Simon who appeared to be around 5 years old.

What was Simon's role in the invasion of Kuwait? Was Simon responsible for the defense of Greater Iraq against the Coalition?

Did Saddam foolishly disregard Simon's advice on securing his flank against Shwarzkopf's Hail Mary end run?

Why didn't Saddam do as Simon says?

Posted by: JDB at July 2, 2004 at 01:19 PM

Rumsfeld shook hands with Saddam in 1983. So what?

You're a friend then, but now I just want to kick you ass. Can't people change their opinion?

Posted by: rainier at July 2, 2004 at 03:09 PM

I recall seeing a picture of Chamberlain with Hitler. Were they conspiring together to start WWII?

Posted by: Bob in Feenicks at July 2, 2004 at 05:09 PM

And look at this picture:

Clearly Jesus and Satan have been cahoots for time immemorial.


Posted by: Quentin George at July 2, 2004 at 05:39 PM

In honour of thx-1138, I think someone should post under the tag "American Graffiti" or "Howard the Duck".

Posted by: Quentin George at July 2, 2004 at 05:40 PM

In honour of thx-1138, I think someone should post under the tag "American Graffiti" or "Howard the Duck".

Or in the name of nuance, Hidden Fortress.....

Posted by: Crusader at July 3, 2004 at 01:45 AM