June 24, 2004


George W. Bush, whose kindness is rarely noted, takes a retarded boy on a tour of the White House.

In other major political developments, John Kerry has named his Presidential co-hamster:

In Aspen, Kerry invited writer Hunter S. Thompson to ride in his motorcade and brought three copies of Thompson's book about the 1972 presidential race, "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail" for autographs.

"Just to put your minds all at ease, I have four words for you that I know will relieve you greatly," Kerry told the crowd of donors. "How does this sound -- Vice President Hunter Thompson."

Four words that would relieve us even more: "Former candidate John Kerry."

Posted by Tim Blair at June 24, 2004 04:31 AM

I especially like how the little retarded boy magically lost about 150 lbs for that picture.

Posted by: Russell Wardlow at June 24, 2004 at 04:34 AM

Not necessarily, Tim. Aren't all elected officials technically "former candidates"?

Posted by: Emily at June 24, 2004 at 04:43 AM

I expect the ol' gonzo journalist is the only one he can interest in the job.

Posted by: Rebecca at June 24, 2004 at 05:04 AM

Man, some airbrush artist is nursing a serious carpal tunnel after making that poster. The eyes in the newspaper ads are also heavily sanitized.

Posted by: Brian Jones at June 24, 2004 at 05:16 AM

Hunter Thompson as VP? That's a better guarantee against assassination than a million secret service agents.

Posted by: Ken Summers at June 24, 2004 at 06:28 AM

HT is so conservative he makes Barry Goldwater look like a raging Marxist.

Posted by: mojo at June 24, 2004 at 06:31 AM

Now you have to admit, that's pretty funny, Thompson as VP and the joke that that would be greeted as making rich folks more at ease. In fact it's easily the funniest thing I've heard Kerry say, not that, offhand, I can even think what its runner-up would be.

Posted by: Mike G at June 24, 2004 at 06:32 AM

I don't think "conservative" is quite the right term for Thompson. "Fucking lunatic" is better.

Posted by: Ken Summers at June 24, 2004 at 06:56 AM

There was a time when such an "announcement" would have been pretty funny. Today, though, (and for the last twenty years or more) Hunter Thompson is a washed-up hack. His stuff is barely comprehensible, let alone humorous. Just goes to show how out of touch Kerry is.

Posted by: Andrew at June 24, 2004 at 09:00 AM

I loved fear and loathing, everything else he wrote was shithouse.

Posted by: Jonny at June 24, 2004 at 09:20 AM

What an insult to retarded people to compare them to Michael Moore.

Posted by: Polly at June 24, 2004 at 09:32 AM

I thought Moore's lack of mental capacity came from an early childhood lobotomy.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at June 24, 2004 at 10:31 AM

Like the way Hinch, Shafer and now you, Tim, are sticking it to Moore's high-powered defamation team: "Bring it on, judge-botherers!" He's made the threat, what's he gonna do?

Posted by: slatts at June 24, 2004 at 11:45 AM

Kerry continues to live in the golden 1970s, when Hunter Thompson was cool and still semi-coherent.

Or maybe he's just after the votes of middle-aged Boomers who continue to postpone adulthood.

Pathetic, either way.

Posted by: lyle at June 24, 2004 at 12:09 PM

Was the retarded boy Mark Latham?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at June 24, 2004 at 01:03 PM

Which is the retarded boy, the one on the left or the one on the right. Oh, the vertically challenged, intellectually challenged and morally stunted one on the right.

Posted by: Divide and Conquer at June 24, 2004 at 02:41 PM

Yeah, but does this mean that Thompson is getting on the Democratic ticket, or Kerry is getting on the Freak Power Gonzo Party ticket?

Posted by: rosignol at June 24, 2004 at 04:40 PM

Slatts, Moore threatened to sue if someone slandered or libelled him. If they do, then maybe he will. Simply criticising him isn't slander or libel.

If you want an example of an outrageous attempt at trying to bully people into silence, have a look at the US threat this week to investigate the lawyers defending David Hicks for daring to criticise the blatantly unjust system set up to try their client.

Posted by: Jeremy at June 24, 2004 at 06:16 PM

Jeremy, keep away from my lawyer if you reckon calling someone retarded's not libellous. Hinch and Shafer have him as untruthful and incompetent, also grounds, surely?

Posted by: slatts at June 24, 2004 at 07:40 PM

"Mourning Families Touched by President." Good thing that headline was written about the current president and not the previous one.

Posted by: mailman at June 25, 2004 at 03:00 AM

Is the Kerry campaign so broke that they have to sell autographed books to sell on Ebay?

Posted by: derf at June 25, 2004 at 04:49 AM

Is the Kerry campaign so broke that they have to sell autographed books on Ebay now? Sure, Kerry had 3 copies of FaLotCT just lying around.

Posted by: derf at June 25, 2004 at 04:51 AM

Oh Lord, Tim, you know that would be the funniest thing ever. HST as VP? Unless you're Cheney -- meaning, you actually run the White House -- the veep job is meaningless. But it sure would be an amusing thing (for the home viewer) to have Hunter mumbling and ranting all the time. On CSPAN.

It's a safe joke for that Kerry guy to make, as HST is old and crazier than ever and won't leave his house. Doesn't make Kerry any "cooler," but what the hell. It amused the reporters following him, I'm sure. They all wanted to live in a world where print journalism could be fun and interesting and maybe even mean something to a few people who weren't journalists or party hacks.

How's your hybrid car, commie?

Posted by: Johnny Friendly at June 25, 2004 at 07:25 PM

As a historical reminder, ``King Malcolm IV was hamstered on the steps of Pewksbury Cathedral, Jne 11, 1058'' and it appears to be happening again. [ref: B. Kliban _Two Guys Fooling around with the Moon_ last cartoon but one, showing a hamstering in progress]

Posted by: Ron Hardin at June 25, 2004 at 08:52 PM

Is "hamstering" something like "gerbiling"? (Eeeewwww...)

Posted by: Dutch Boy at June 27, 2004 at 06:25 PM

HST used to be a funny fucker
now he is again

Posted by: cugel at June 28, 2004 at 08:02 AM

Hunter Thompson--can't be any worse than any of the other possibilities.
How about these four words: Defeated candidate John Kerry? That leaves no ambiguity.
For links to news, views, politics, and government, bookmark All Things Political.

Posted by: All Things Political at June 28, 2004 at 10:26 AM

Hey, AllThings -- quit shilling your blog here. If you want to advertise, pay Tim through his adverts on the sidebar. Keep it up and I'll ban you.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at June 28, 2004 at 01:33 PM