June 16, 2004

CREATIVE SPAM USE

My e-mail address has been captured in some type of monster spam loop involving hundreds of other addresses. No big deal; the emails arrive, and get deleted. But where some see minor inconvenience, fellow spam listee "Ginger" sees opportunity:

An odd circumstance just dawned on me, and I would be remiss if I did not take advantage of it immediately.†I am sitting here unemployed, desperately searching every resource†available,†looking for a job.†After exhausting all the local publication possibilities, I have resorted to searching the internet for job opportunities.

Now that search is being interrupted by hundreds of spam emails.†The emails appear to be coming from some rather well known organizations, government offices, and political affiliations.†I must apologize to you all now, because I am about to†engage in†a little old fashioned American ingenuity.†I need a job.†Inadvertently, I have access to some potentially well placed people who might have openings.† †

Following is a copy of my resume.†I have omitted personal information.†I assume you will have my email address, due to the nature of this spam spoof loop.†I will respond individually and privately to any serious inquiry.

Gingerís resume reveals considerable, and impressive, experience in the field of truck fleet management. Got a job for someone with initiative? Contact Ginger here.

Posted by Tim Blair at June 16, 2004 03:06 AM
Comments

Damnation, I've got to give that woman props as a nominee for this year's "Why Didn't I Think Of That" award.

Posted by: Bravo Romeo Delta at June 16, 2004 at 03:11 AM

I don't have a job for Ginger, I'm afraid. But, as luck would have it, the Nigerian government has just offered me an oil contract and if you send me your bank details I'll give you 5%, or $40,000,000.

I can also provide Viagr# and Hot Teens should you require them.

Posted by: Harry Hutton at June 16, 2004 at 04:08 AM

IOWAHAWK

Seeking exciting executive career opportunities in lucrative, low physical impact, non-challenging field.

Experience

1987-present: Self Employed Fundraising Engineer. Designed and executed successful campaign against own mother to enhance financial reserves for critical gambling and alcohol objectives. Met target objectives through dilligent hectoring, badgering and purse-rifling. Worked closely with area pawn entrepreneurs to leverage liqudity.

Education

J.H., Ocelot Community Junior High School, Ocelot, Iowa

Post-graduate coursework and Drivers' Ed, Ocelot Senior High School

Honors

"Who's Who," Ocelot County Sheriffs Association

Semi-finalist, Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes

Posted by: iowahawk at June 16, 2004 at 04:10 AM

You're not allowed to say Via_gra on Tim's comments section, I just discovered. "Dog's cock" is perfectly acceptable, though.

Posted by: Harry Hutton at June 16, 2004 at 04:11 AM

As is "hairy arseholes".

Posted by: Harry Hutton at June 16, 2004 at 04:13 AM

The surest way to kill the spam plague: make it actually useful to someone. Go, Ginger!

Posted by: Rebecca at June 16, 2004 at 04:31 AM

So I guess she at least got off the island. Can't Thurston Howell III find a position for her at his firm? I know I can find a position for Mary Ann.

Posted by: Two in the Hat at June 16, 2004 at 05:52 AM

VIAGRA

Posted by: goldsmith at June 16, 2004 at 07:17 AM

I'm looking for a job in financial analysis or in trading (I'd really like a trading assistant job) in the US. Please e-mail me to request a resume.

CFA Level II Candidate.

Posted by: aaron at June 16, 2004 at 09:11 AM

With oil quickly running out, per Margo, I'm afraid Ginger's future in trucking may be somewhat limited.

Rather than truck produce and manufactures to market, we may be forced to move merchandise by means of lever and fulcrum.

Keep that in mind, you young people still in school!

PS--Iowahawk! LOL funny!

Posted by: JDB at June 16, 2004 at 09:31 AM

Tim, can you do me a favour and ask Kathy Bail if I can have a job? Tell her I bought her book DIY Feminism and I'm a huge fan, and that I've never picked up a copy of HQ since she left.

Posted by: Caz at June 16, 2004 at 11:35 AM

That's exactly the same pitch I used, Caz!

Posted by: tim at June 16, 2004 at 01:09 PM

Instead of selling a product via spam, this shameless person is simply selling him/herself. Bastard, why didn't I think of that!
I'm looking for work too. So if any readers in the Newcastle area want an overskilled, overqualified, underexperienced drudge with some html skills to work around their office, mail me. I'm not picky!

Posted by: TimT at June 16, 2004 at 01:25 PM

Well, lets just make this a classified ads board!
Anyone looking for a combination AutoCAD drafter/designer/LISP programmer, SysAdmin with Windows 2000 (MCP) and 15+ years experience with Netware and MS-based LANs, Visual Basic, Visual Foxpro, and even a smattering of RedHat 6.1 and 9 experience...I'm unemployed as of January 2004...and I'm capable of destroying virus infections without the aid of anti-virus software!e-mail me!
-Jamie
P.S. Also member of Northwest Ohio ISSA. ;)

Posted by: James Moore at June 17, 2004 at 02:11 PM