Tim Blair

Tim,

You're making this one up, yes?

Australia has a Prisoner's Union??? Tell me this is a satire. PLEASE!

You know the scary part is that I've met people who actually think this way.

No one knows if its true or not but its funny.

My initial reaction was exactly the same as JeffS's...this has to be satire; otherwise I shudder at the thought that there's actually a group of people who are unionized in Australia, but not here in Germany. I thought we (along with the French and Italians) were world leaders in that department!

I wonder what the benefits of being in a prisoner's union would be?

Oh no no no!
This just cannot be true.
Would the prisoners union consider a pre-emptive strike? Maybe even a unilateral strike?
It's just not cricket.

What would the striking criminals do if strike-breaking scab criminals defied the no-crime order? Beating them up is against the law.

Are you sure? Here in the US, strike-related violence committed by union members is legal. At least, it's never prosecuted.

This is so far out that it must be a joke. Or an Alternative Universe is seeping into ours through a wormhole or something...

I took a few minutes with Google:

Australian Prisoners' Union formed, from the "Green Left Weekly".

It's a real organization. This story is not satire.

I would guess that this union's members go on an extended "crime strike" when they get thrown in prison in the first place. And when they're freed, are they still eligible to be in the "prisoner's union," or does their membership just transfer right over to the Teamsters?

I read it and read it, and then I followed the link provided by JeffS and read that. This is what I come up with:

The prisoners' union wants free citizens to not commit the crime of oppressing prisoners for one day. Reading their list of goals, that means, apparently, not making them pay for their crimes by locking them up, because that's violating their basic rights (it's the only reading I can give to "free association for prisoners"). Therefore, the crime not to be committed on this strike day is ours, not theirs.

And all I can say is: I've died and gone to hell, and didn't notice until now.

Why do I think of the Hall of Doom slowly emerging from a swamp somewhere deep in the Australian Outback.

Heh.

Prompted by JeffS's linked article (and its curious statement "prisoners' rights activists launched a new organisation, the Australian Prisoners' Union"), I've done some more googling, and damned if I can find any mention of this "Union" without a simultaneous mention of "Justice Action", which appears to be said group of activists. Also, they don't seem to have any spokespeople of their own.

Sure looks to me like the "Union" is just a front for this Justica Action group. (I guess it sounds better for the press releases to say that you have a "union" on your side.) I doubt any actual prisoners are members of the APU, assuming the organization has any members in the strict sense at all.

All together now:

"Ariiiiiise, you prisoners of starvaaaaaation..."

PW, I noticed the same thing about this "Justica Action" group. I had misgivings about it when I noticed the publication "Green Left".

I also saw a "California Prisoner's Union". The link is to an announcement for a rather exclusive meeting in San Francisco. Perhaps this is an international organization? Argh!

Another masterstroke for GWB -- invading Iraq has reduced crime in the Coalition countries.

So, the message they want to send, is... what?

Police should regularly sodomize criminals with flashlights, that way they'll stop committing crimes forever?

Some day in the all-too-near future, every story in the news will imitate either "The Simpsons" or The Onion.

At that point, the servers at Best of the Web and News of the Weird will simultaneously explode with an Earth-destroying chain reaction.

I call it the Simpson/Onion Theory of Armageddon. I should be able to pinpoint the date with massive government grants and private contributions. Please make checks payable to David Schipani.

So those dirty scabs would undermine the striking criminals by stealing only half of our money and the oldest cars?

"...At that point, the servers at Best of the Web and News of the Weird will simultaneously explode with an Earth-destroying chain reaction."

Sounds like the premise of a movie starring Bruce Willis as the guy who tries to save the world by...making the world sensible again? Hmmm, there's a blockbuster in there somewhere, the plot just needs work...

Who is John Galt?

I agree with the union. A day when people who are in jail and don't like to be f..ed in the ass can have a rest, i am all for it.

Stupidest union _EVER_

So go on strike you bunch of f#ckwits, like people will line the streets calling on crims to get back to it.

Is there a genetic disposition to be so stupid and criminal? They do seem related.

Go on strike your little crooked hearts out.

(What happens if a prisoner refuses to join the union? Do they refuse to allow him/her in the prison?)

I agree with PW about the 'union' being for the benefit of the Justica Action group. I wonder how many Australian prisoners even realize they *have* a union? I'd be willing to bet it's not many.

It's a very strange world.

With great sadness and a heavy heart do I tell you that I knew this wasn't satire on the first read.

So if someone breaks the ranks, Scabs, and they rob my house or steal my car, will the insurance pay up. Maybe the Union will claim scab labor isn't covered by insurance. Now there's a conundrum.

But it would seem that it is us and not the crims this day is aimed at. Meaning we naughty and bad citiznes should'nt incarcerate the poor crim just for raping or murdering..

Hell, 1 bullet to the brain and no prisoner problems.