Tim Blair

If they want to sheild their kids from violence, why take them to a football game?

There are strict unwritten rules of behaviour at football games. You break them and you won't need 'the law' to let you know.

Just ask any idiot who shouts out during the minute's silence on ANZAC day.

Can you guys do that? I mean, isn't that like an Italian trying to talk with his hands in his pockets?

...cordoned off areas at football grounds so parents can shield their children from swearing and violence...

What's that gonna be, a sound-proofed container painted black?

Bloody hell, the PC crowd have really dug their claws into footy. What's the betting the signs don't say "No Swearing", but "Inappropriate Language Prohibited"?

That is a slur, McEnroe!

Although, it took me a long time to type my reply because I was wildly waving my hands about in exasperation... so I guess you're right. :)

it's important that the kids learn to swear right fucking.

Listen Richard, *%$#@**&*@&@@ %&#*@&*@* @7 @%@&@*&$##.

Furthermore, &%$*^&@& *@%&&*%#$ %%##$^%$@, @%&^%% @%*&^% &*$*##*%$@ @*&@@!!

^##^%@!@^#@% @^%$#&^ #$^%$%#.

I've probably attended over 100 Swans games at the SCG, and I've never witnessed a single act of violence in the crowd. As for bad language, anyone loudly swearing when there are kids around will be told to pull their head in very quickly (as for quietly swearing, I'm as guilty as anyone).

Pre-1985 I lived in melbourne, and I don't recall any problems with violence or swearing there either.

What a load of fucking monkeybollocks! Since when has the AFL been taken over by the Grand Mufti?
You can teach the little bastards all the need to know sweary-wise right here.

Fucking fascist cunts.

The AFL is considering setting up cordoned off areas at football grounds so parents can shield their children from swearing and violence.

It seems to me that it will add to the national vocabulary, by making "cordoned" a dirty word.

The sunburnt "cordoned" stockman stood
And, in a dismal "cordoned" mood
Apostrophized his "cordoned" cuddy
The "cordoned" nag's no "cordoned" good
He could'nt earn his "cordoned" food
A regular "cordoned" brumby,
"Cordoned!!"

He jumped across the " cordoned" horse
And cantered off, of "cordoned" course!
The roads were bad and "cordoned" muddy
Said he, Well spare me "cordoned" days
The "cordoned" government's "cordoned" way's
"Cordoned!!"

He rode up hill, down "cordoned" dale
The wind it blew a "cordoned" gale
The creek was high and "cordoned" floody
Said he, The "cordoned" horse must swim
The same for "cordoned" me and him
Is something "cordoned" sickening
"Cordoned!!"

He plunged into the "cordoned" creek
The "cordoned" horse was "cordoned" weak
The stockman's face a "cordoned" study
And though the "cordoned" horse was drowned
The "cordoned" rider reached high ground
Ejaculating,"cordoned?"
"Cordoned!!!"

This is insane. Without expert instruction, how will children ever learn how to swear? They'll grow up swearing all wrong.

Duh. From their parents, of course. This is just part of the move to family-based education we have seen in the past couple of years. Parents are finally realising, it is their responsibility to train their children in the fine art of vulgarities and vile abuse.

Even worse is kids could grow up wanting to be umpires!

Even worse is kids could grow up wanting to be umpires!

Don't talk dirty, Simon!

'...crowd figures this year at AFL games have droppped sharply from last years averages.
This has been attributed to the "swearing free, rude gesture free" areas the AFL has just implemented, coupled with melbournes large mediterranian population. These have conspired to cut averages from 20,000 per game to 9...'

Oh, when will someone do something for the children? Piss. Shit. Fuck.

Doc:

"Will you take a cigarette?", said the captain of the push;

"I'll take the "cordoned" packet", said the bastard from the bush.

We've already got something like this here in the Great Satan. At some Major League Baseball stadiums, they have "family sections" in which beer and profanity are banned. You need to act now to make sure this doesn't stick! If children can't be exposed to drunkenness and profanity at sporting events, soon they won't be able to see these things at home, either!

I'll bet you the people who came up with this swear like muleskinners at home, though they probably don't spank their kids -- no doubt because the little tykes have learned to say "I'll call social services!" (Or whatever is the equivalent over there.)

Isn't swearing in public an offence anyway?

Attn Currency Lad-
Would you take a "cordoned" 's baby,
I'd take a "cordoned"'s maiden,
Said the "cordoned" from the bush.

Addendum:-
"Well "cordon" me dead, it's "cordon" Fred,
The "cordon" from the bush.

When was Victoria taken over by fucking wowsers?

Habib:

"Would you like the whole work of art to link to", said the captain of the push.

"Sure as there's s--- in a goose", said the bastard from the bush.

Apologies to Henry Lawson.

"Well that link didn't deliver", said the Captain of the push.

"Well have another go ya f------ mug", said the bastard from the push.

Further apologies to the Master.

May the pangs of windt spasms through your bowels dart,
May you shit your bloody trousers every time you try to fart,
May you take a swig of gins-piss, mistaking it for beer,May the next push you impose on toss you out upon your ear;
May the itching piles torment you, may corns grow on your feet,
May crabs as big as spiders attack your balls a treat,
Then when you're down and out, a hopeless fucking wreck,
May you slip back through your arsehole, and break your fucking neck.

For a graduate course in swearing, watch the first half of Kubrick's "Full Metal Jacket", with R. Lee Ermey, the poet laureate of obscenity.

Agent smith, I concur.

Exerpt:
Private Pyle, do you suck dicks?!
No sir!
Bull shit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

Tim, such cordoned off sections exist in South Australia already. At the SANFL there are Family Freindly areas where there is no swearing or drinking allowed. Of course, if you avoid these areas, you are free to actually have fun at the footy.

On the other hand, at AAMI Stadium (Football Park) for the AFL there is strict no swearing policy which is enforced around the ground. Furthermore, you cannot enjoy a beer in your seat, being forced to drink it out of view of the players!!

Its called creeping facism!

Now, drop and give me twenty-five!

Various country Aussie Rules comps have a Zero Tolerance rule for swearing on the field over a number of years. Very difficult as a player to respond in an appropriate manner after some prick has given you a clip over the ear'ole when spoiling a mark.

My son has also told me that the loacal ACT soccer comp -juniors, womens and mens - commenced Zero Tolerance this year as well. Apparently they had 50 send offs in the first week.