Tim Blair

Dammit. I was hoping that Haniya would be next. Something about him just makes me want to....
I think it must be the 20c sized mole on his nose.

Update. A spokesperson for Dr Zahir has lodged an appeal with the Hamas electoral commission claiming that, if counted, some ballots with partially removed chards would deliver victory to the runner up. Dr Zahir is said to be considering legal action to ensure that he does not get the leadership.

At the rate the Israelis are going even Centrelink couldn't find a candidate for the job.

Bye Doc. Give my regards to Rantissi.

I wonder what the good doctor thought when they gave him the keys to a Yugo and mentioned that all Hamas security personnel were undergoing "intensive training of unspecified duration".

Dear Dr Zahar

Perpetual Insurance Co would like to congratulate you on your appointment as the new head of the Hamas terrorist organisation.

Unfortunately, in respect of your recent request, we advise that we are unable to renew your life insurance policy at this time.

Yours sincerely

Alan Anderson
Perpetual Insurance Co

What is it with some doctors and murdering terrorist scum? There was Mengele of course, and Che Guevara, and the late Dr Rantizzi ( a paediatrician who preferred blowing kids up to treating them). Is this Dr Zahir a real medical doctor or does he have a PhD in literary criticism or something? Have Muslims ever heard of Hippocrates?

Somewhere in Israel, someone is painting Dr. Zahar's name on a missile....

4-18-04

1 month, one week, 6 days.

Dr Mahmoud Zahar

Hamas employment ad

Hmm. I must really be bored.

HA! That's genius.

Hilarious, David. I passed it around the world. Hope you don't mind ;)

I think pretty soon the top Hamas boys will catch on the whole thing as a great way of getting rid of the mates they don't like without dirtying their own hands. Imagine if it worked like that in Australia: "In today's surpise announcement, Kevin Rudd has been elevated by his colleagues to the leadership of the parliamentary Labor Party."

I think pretty soon the top Hamas boys will catch on the whole thing as a great way of getting rid of the mates they don't like without dirtying their own hands. Imagine if it worked like that in Australia: "In today's surpise move, Kevin Rudd has been elevated by his colleagues to the leadership of the parliamentary Labor Party."

http://www.likud.nl/extr274.html

As the french say
Plus ca change, Plus c'est la meme chose.

“There were no real other candidates for the leadership in Gaza,” a Western diplomat said. “Most of them have been killed.”

I wonder what would happen once they run out of leadership candidates?

Comment Porn-Link Spammers from Deutschland. How avante garde.

Piss off Krauts!

Interesting to see some red-headed bloke near rocket-boy's coffin in Gaza on the news tonight.

The spam's been deleted. I'll update the Blacklist later today.

I'm with Dead Ed, I was hoping the next Hamas leader would be Witchy Poo (Haniya). That thing on his nose could have doubled as a zero!
Now I know what they mean by poison chalice!

“There were no real other candidates for the leadership in Gaza,” a Western diplomat said. “Most of them have been killed.”

Huh? When did Robert Fisk and John Pilger die?

News just in... transcript of the last brilliant speech by the recently deceased (and now consorting with 72 hapless virgins)Hamas leader:

"What the f..."

By the way, has any theologian ever worked out what's in it for the virgins?

Anyone interested on a Calcutta on the latest Hamas Honcho? I'm tipping ten days, then smoking shoes in the streets of Gaza City.

"By the way, has any theologian ever worked out what's in it for the virgins?"

The other vital question is, "What's in it for the lady suicide bombers?"

Answer: 72 virginal but infertile stud-muffins aged 18 to 20, guaranteed free of STDs, uncircumcised, big dongers, primed and pumped and rarin' to go.

How long until they are led by the Jihad equivalent of a Cub Scout?

Hamas, the only organization whose leader delivers a farewell address at his inauguration.

Seriously, should Israel manage to actually, er, terminate this Dr. Zahar's command, Hamas will be about finished. They must be seen as effective to maintain support. Strong horse, and all that.

Gray-bearded and soft-spoken, eh? He sounds like a real prince.

"We will gently kill all the jews and kindly push Israel into the ocean?"

I bet 10,000 quatloos on the newcomer.

That is, that he's dead within 4 months.

I know this is off the topic but I just cant believe what I just read in the letters section of The Age

"Accept a truce

The Bush Administration has dismissed bin Laden's offer of an armistice as "absurd". To me it is much more absurd to commit many more billions of dollars and countless thousands of mostly innocent civilian lives on a "war on terror" that is not only unwinnable but is spiralling out of control.

Ask the population of the planet that is hurting badly as a result of this crazy war if they want an armistice. I'm sure the response would be an overwhelming yes.
Kel Dummett, Northcote "

Amazing

Smoke Zahar ASAP and watch Hamas crumple.

Maybe Zahar is a decoy...but he doesn't know it.

"What's in it for the lady suicide bombers?"

Walter, seriously I hear they get to spend the rest of eternity with their husbands when he dies. WTF?? these Musis have absolutely NO CLUE how to give a gal a little fun in this life or the next. Jeez that has got to suck!!

Men get 72 black eyed Houries and all they get is pot bellied, grumpy old Abdullah with his gout and halitosis.

"Congratulations, you are the new leader of Hamas!"
"No, _you_ are the new leader of Hamas!"
"No, you — "
"I said you are the new leader of Hamas, dammit! Him! Him! Over there!"

This is beginning to look like a new and much bloodier version of The Apprentice with Israel playing the role of Donald Trump and the Hamas leadership playing the hapless apprentices being terminated - with extreme prejudice. Ahmin Yassin...you're fired! Abdel Aziz Rantisi...you're fired.

Looks like Zahar is next in line for a laser-guided pink slip.

"Mr. Zahar has learned the first secret of How Not To Be Seen: Don't stand up."

If you're interested in a well-paid job as Zahar's successor, you can find out everything you need to know by skimming a few issues of Hamas Manager magazine (1-yr subscription $25; lifetime subscription $15). For a limited time, each new subscriber receives one FREE management success book-- choose from such best-selling titles as What Color Is Your Coffin?, Leadership Secrets of Guy Fawkes, and Who Moved My Spleen?

Upon recipt of this news, my guess is that the Israeli respone will be:

Pull!

I was wondering about a kind of "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" question: Just how doggone many virgins are available in Heaven for these "martyrs?" Is there an inexhaustible supply, or does Allah eventually either run out or just quit making them? I mean, 72 for one is kind of a high ratio. If there is an inexhaustible supply, won't Heaven eventually get a bit crowded?

time for a new poll tim:

"What is the object that will soon be heading Dr Mahmoud Zahar's way?"

You guys ought to write a stand up comedy routine with this stuff. It's hilarious!!

Hey, Brian Jones (was going to say BJ but reconsidered), "Gray-bearded and soft-spoken" is also what they said about ol' Ahmed Yassin, too. Heh. Well, we know what he said/thought and how he ended up.

To Zahar, Long live the king; the king is dead.

Hamas props em' up Mossad knocks em' down. Rather simple concept innit?

I believe the expression is "poisoned chalice" is relevant or would the better expression be "exploding chalice"?

The real question is to be asked is the definition of virgin. Are they brand new ones ie created in heaven by the allah or are they ex-planet earth virgins.

If its the first not such a bad deal; if its the second I dont think there would be a single virgin under the age of 60.

i really must stop pondering

"The real question is to be asked is the definition of virgin. Are they brand new ones ie created in heaven by the allah or are they ex-planet earth virgins?"

Well, none of them will come from Toorak, South Yarra, or Broadmeadows High School, that's for sure.

I guess they must be all aged between zero and 12, which is a bit disgusting. But then, Mohommad was always one for the younger chicks. Didn't he have a 13 year old bride?

Of course, they have to be hetero virgins - you'd be spewing if you exploded and got lumped with a bunch of hairy lesbie-type crop-haired virgins in boiler suits. Or my Aunt Dolly - she's a virgin and has been for 72 years.

Haniya will be targeted as soon as IMI finishes R&D on a dedicated Schnoz-Buster® warhead. You don't want to hit something like that and not kill it on the first shot, it's liable to charge...

"Mr. Zahar has learned the first secret of How Not To Be Seen: Don't stand up."

Well that didn't work for Yassin either, and he had a natural advantage...

He's Spartacus!
Best bet is for Zahar to ask for his virgins up front,he might get eternity with a bunch of Ted Bundys.

This has to be one of the funniest damn threads I've ever seen on Tim's site - I've hosed the damn monitor down with coffee twice now. Keep it up guys.

"...How not to be seen..."

Christ, I nearly broke something....

I have it on good authority that the supply of heavenly virgins ran out some centuries ago, and they were replaced with inflatable dolls - such is the love-making technique of the average martyr that nobody has noticed.

Hamas Roulette

"Ummm ... isn't it supposed to 1 bullet and 5 empty chambers and not the other way around?

They're not virgins anymore!
heehheehehehhehehehehe

Has anyone yet received an e-mail from Rantisi's widow? Apparently he was not in power long enough to get and EU money into Nigeria.

The holy woman martyr does not receive virgins in Paradise. Hers is an even greater honor. She is served by none other than Allah himself.

AKBAR THE GREAT

What do gay bombers get when they go to Paradise?

Bye bye love, I think you're gonna die.

Bye bye love
Bye bye happiness, hello loneliness
I think I'mgonna cry
Bye bye love, bye bye sweet caress, hello emptiness
I feel like I could die
Bye bye my love goodbye

-Everly Brothers, of course

Hilarious posts...

Just did a quick calculation. With around 145 suicide attacks in Israel during the Intifada , at 72 virgins a piece, (72^145) I got the following number:
2.0568943372134852e+269 virgins...which would make for the coolest porn movie ever

Sorry. Was a little off on the math. It's more like 10440 virgins.

Soon to be known around the world as "the late Dr. Mahmoud Zahar."

Sorry I was mistaken. It's Zahar with the attractive nose. Let's hope that no matter what position he holds or where he hides, he attracts a misslie of two!

I think keith Locke should be the next leader
of hammus.How cool would it be to fire the missles on the chopers and kill those idol god
whorshiping demons.
Still if zahar is not ready for 72 virgins just yet he should come to nz on a bogus passport
and claim assylum.

Then alex davidson can start a website with keith
Locke wondering if his human rights have been violated and that the evidence that hammus has commited mass suicide bombings is flimsey Israeli
court rulings.