April 05, 2004

COURTING COURTNEY

Mark Steyn deals with rapmaster John Kerry and holey Al Gore:

The best riposte to Kerry came from an encounter a few years ago between his predecessor Al Gore and Courtney Love, lead singer of the popular beat combo Hole, when they chanced to run into each other at a Democratic party night in Hollywood.

''I'm a really big fan,'' gushed the vice president.

''Yeah, right. Name a song,'' scoffed Courtney. The panicked vice panderer floundered helplessly. Fortunately, his Secret Service guys moved in before he wound up completely riddled by Hole. As wise old campaign consultants always say, the politician's First Rule of Holes is: When you're in one, stop digging. Al introduced us to a Second Rule: When you're with one, stop pretending to dig her.

As Steyn points out, George W. Bushs reply to a question asked of him about Madonna rocks: Im not into pop music.

Posted by Tim Blair at April 5, 2004 02:21 PM
Comments

A common conceit in the entertainment biz is that any politician who doesn't pretend to be a huge fan of the rap artist/grunge band/Idol winner de jour is "out of touch".

Good on Bush. If he'd replied that Madonna is an entertainer of limited talent who has parlayed an international career out of nothing more than stunts, he'd already be assured of re-election.

Posted by: The Mongrel at April 5, 2004 at 02:58 PM

of course who in Australia could forget Tim Fischer who stated he was a big fan of a certain pop grioup only to admit later he had never listened to any of their music.

This is bi-partisan.

Posted by: Homer Paxton at April 5, 2004 at 03:15 PM

i never was a fan of that pop grioup either...

Posted by: roscoe.p.coltrane at April 5, 2004 at 03:38 PM

If Mark Latham calls Madonna a skanky ho, he'll go up in my opinion.

Posted by: Freddyboy at April 5, 2004 at 03:39 PM

I would have loved for Gore to have given the most honest answer-- "Hey, we politicians pretend that you celebrities know something about the issues when you start blathering at us, the least you can do is pretend that we know something about music."

Posted by: Mike G at April 5, 2004 at 03:59 PM

At least John Howard doesn't pretend to know anything about gangsta rap, unlike Mark ("Peter Pan")Latham who at 42, still thinks he's a kid. He might be right.

Posted by: Freddyboy at April 5, 2004 at 04:20 PM

"The difference is that President Bush doesn't feel the need to pretend". Mark Steyn

"The 'Mission Accomplished' sign, of course, was put up by the members of the USS Abraham Lincoln, saying that their mission was accomplished." George Bush

Posted by: Sincerity Slips at April 5, 2004 at 05:51 PM

I did not give up my right to enjoy the new fangled 'hop-hip' music when I served in Vietnam.

Posted by: John Kerry at April 5, 2004 at 07:16 PM

Ah, the "I wish" statement:

"I'm not sure I've got the name exactly, but I think it's called 'bitch'."

Posted by: cthulhu at April 5, 2004 at 07:40 PM

SS, your point is what?

Posted by: Andrea Harris at April 5, 2004 at 08:12 PM

SS, your point is what?

That she's a mental defective?

Posted by: Quentin George at April 5, 2004 at 08:38 PM

Clinton was a hole fan too. Only he knew something about them.

Posted by: Arty at April 5, 2004 at 11:10 PM

George Bush doesn't feel the need to pretend. That's why he bought his ranch in TX just before declaring for the presidency, so that he can pretend to be a rancher?

Posted by: pj at April 5, 2004 at 11:38 PM

George Bush doesn't feel the need to pretend. That's why he bought his ranch in TX just before declaring for the presidency, so that he can pretend to be a rancher?

No, silly, he bought the ranch to launder the millions he pilfered from Harken Energy, Texas Rangers fans and the Texas state treasury. Try to keep up, will ya?

Posted by: Tongue Boy at April 5, 2004 at 11:55 PM

If Bush had bought his ranch for show, he could have gotten better for less.

Posted by: JorgXMcKie at April 6, 2004 at 12:24 AM

...See, THAT's what I love about the Left: a nutball conspiracy theorey in every pot.

Posted by: Dave P. at April 6, 2004 at 01:04 AM

The ranch serves a noble purpose- it pisses off
all the media hacks who are on the White House
beat. To them, Crawford, Texas is worse than the
dreaded Baghdad summer and the brutal Afghan winter combined.

PS- Tim- there is a large Aussie playing for Georgia Tech in the NCAA final tomorrow. The papers say he gained 20kg over the summer but he
looked like he could stand to gain another 10.
Hope it's a good game- the semis were awesome.

Posted by: okimutt at April 6, 2004 at 01:24 AM

I think Kerry is ripe for an Ali G interview:

KERRY: Yes, Mr G, I've got all your records.

ALI G: Respec. Me really enjoyed your web site www.goatse.cx. Me fink it really says a lot about your character.

KERRY: Thank you, Mr G, I think you'll agree it shows just how extensive our policies really are.

Posted by: Clem Snide at April 6, 2004 at 02:08 AM

Hey, she may be a drug-soaked slattern, but she's not stupid.

Posted by: mojo at April 6, 2004 at 02:23 AM

I have a theory that the President deliberatly takes a vacation at the ranch in August, the worst part of the summer in Texas, to maliciously torment the White House press corps, who have to follow him there... and hang around for a month, enduring the heat, the dust and the many cosmopolitan attractions of Crawford...

Posted by: Sgt. Mom at April 6, 2004 at 02:26 AM

Sgt Mom:

You know, that just might be true. ;)

Posted by: Patrick Chester at April 6, 2004 at 08:23 AM

Ah yes, I can see it now...

George bounces into the bunkhouse.
Rise and shine, newsboys 'n newsgals! It's 6 a.m., the sun is shinin' over Texas, and it's a cool 98 degrees out! Whatta you say to a quick run around the fences, see if any critters got out in the night? Then we'll have some breakfast, ma's got biscuits 'n graavy, that's sausage graavy! , 'n sausage, 'n graavy, 'n eggs, 'n I don't know what else!

Then we'll talk about the economy while we cut brush 'til lunch. And lunch...WHOEE!!! BBQ!

George looks around as the groggy press-people dress...
uh, Moudy-Doud, better shake that shoe out before you put it on, think there's one a them stingin' scorpions in it.

Posted by: Timothy Lang at April 6, 2004 at 11:58 AM

Mmmm... biscuits in sausage gravy....

Posted by: Andrea Harris at April 6, 2004 at 12:47 PM

Timothy Lang,

You're not kidding. The President has been known to invite journalists out for a run then sadistically leave them choking on his dust. He's said to be in amazing physical shape for a man his age and after a "misspent youth".

Another thing I read is that his ranch is state of the art "enviro-friendly". All sorts of touches (solar energy to heat water, etc.)that self-proclaimed environmentalists like Kerry wouldn't bother to build into their (five) homes without crowing and issueing a press release about...plus Bush kills terrorists!!!! How cool is that?

Posted by: JDB at April 6, 2004 at 01:24 PM

Andrea Harris said:
Mmmm... biscuits in sausage gravy....

Yes, and don't even get me on grits...tasty and Presidential!

JDB said:
...his ranch is state of the art "enviro-friendly"...plus Bush kills terrorists!!!! How cool is that?

As the father of a 13 year old daughter and a 12 year old son, I think that is way cool! I will die before I see my daughter wear a burqa or my son become a janissary.

Posted by: Timothy Lang at April 6, 2004 at 02:36 PM