Tim Blair

Next shocking revelation: "Guards short-sheeted my bed, put saran-wrap on my commode."

Sounds like Basic Training. (Without the fear, sarcasm and ridicule)

Of course he also "defiantly refused 'treats', such as watching a James Bond film in a room dubbed The Love Shack by inmates." So he was offered the chance to watch a Bond flick and turned it down? Kind of a weird juxtaposition: "They smeared hoo-ha blood in my face, gave us 10 year-old black chemical fruit, and the only movie they showed was 'Moonraker'. Now the space battle at the end of that, now that's torture! I mean, seriously, I'd rather watch that one with Lazenby than watch 'Moonraker'!"

That is deeply disturbing....I had no idea that....there's a McDonald's in Gitmo?

LMedical treatment was sparse and brutal and amputations of limbs were more drastic than required, claimed Jamal.

What's that all about?!?!

There was obviously some good weed available there in Gitmo.

Yep, there's a McDonalds.

`They get here and they're blindfolded and they hear stories,'' said Jon McKay, a 31-year-old from Williamsburg who works around Camp Delta. ``They grew up in a different culture and they don't know what to expect. And we're the devil.''

One guard working inside Camp Delta said injured detainees have attempted to stab American troops by pulling out pins surgically implanted by doctors.

On the flip side, he said, interrogators try to reward prisoners who provide information with meals from McDonald's.

The Mirror has been so played. That's pathetic. 0wN3d by a kid from the sticks of Afghanistan!

Just which part of the Geneva convention covers naked women as implements of torture? and does it have pictures...

Agreed, Andrea. It's pretty easy to count limbs, and the Red Cross has visited all the prisoners a number of times. If there were unnecessary amputations they'd notice.

Also, I don't know why, but I found this hilarious:

"He had a wooden house with air conditioning and green grass to exercise on. I said to the guards, 'I want his rights' and they replied, 'That dog is member of the US army'.

Also, I don't know why, but I found this hilarious:

"He had a wooden house with air conditioning and green grass to exercise on. I said to the guards, 'I want his rights' and they replied, 'That dog is member of the US army'.

I just hope its true... not like the rest of the crap that was spouted in that article. What a zing

I am anxiously awaiting Nemesis to come in and proclaim that this man and any who believe his tale are a few slices short of a loaf.

Robin, it's not unnecessary amputations he's talking about. He's saying that when they perform the amputations, that the US doctors amputate them higher up than is necessary. It's the sum of hatred of the US + needing an amputation + probably not being familiar with the procedure.

"amputations of limbs were more drastic than required," Yes, let's not go overboard, Mr choppy.

I like the dog quote too and I find it amazing that anybody could doubt the virtue of a totaly rad Alsation over some radical Algerian. Of course he gets more rights, look at that adorable furry face! Why I swear he understands every word I say! The dog I mean, not the dipshit Islamist.

Of course the dog gets to go out on the grass, he can chase a frizbee, what can Johnny Jihad do exept beat women and complain about Spain turning back Catholic in 1450? Shut the fuck up already.

OK fine so Mr dumbass wasn't in the Taliban, but he was crazy enought to go out with Cook's daughter so let's not take any chances. And now he's safe and sound and free to sell his 'harrowing story' just as soon as he figures out how to get a few pirates and vampires into it.

A happy ending for the Mirror, that's what counts.

Pirates and vampires? I say thee nay!

The proper pairing would be pirates and ninjas. I am an authority on these matters.

I was struck by a couple things when I read that story:

1) He knows what a shower head is for?

2) His moans of agony where no doubt drowned out by the cries of Cubans clamoring to get in and experience some of that sweet, sweet Gitmo luxury.

I was waiting for a report like this. It was inevitable after the report in the Guardian (about how nicely Gitmo detainees were treated).

you wouldn't think someone called Ronnie Fiddler would leave himself open for Benny Hill gags by making allegations about having tarts forced on himself by those evil Amerikkkans.

How long before some speeded up footage appears of a bloke in dreadlocks and a dishdasha being chased by bimbos in bikinis?

The puir wee laddie! Puir bairn went to Pakistan to larn Islamic culture. Och, man, but jihad is Islamic culture!

The Brits should've kept his arse in jail, the whining pee-gee-winker.

He was once in Australia, having struck up a relationship with a senator's daughter.

Articles mentioning Jamal Al-Harith and claims of mistreatment that don't mention the vice girls, thereby making him look more credible:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s1065252.htm

http://www9.sbs.com.au/theworldnews/region.php?id=80724®ion=3

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,8927969%255E2703,00.html

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s1064756.htm

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/03/10/1078594394726.html

(methodology: Google news search of "Jamal "al Harith" location:australia", checked to see if abuses alleged, rejected if also include "vice girls". I may have included a few that I shouldn't have.)

Vice girls, that would be Ginger Vice, Scary Vice, Sporty Vice.. and I forget the others. It's pretty funny though, vice-spice get it? ...

Ah screw you guys.

I too was shocked to learn that the shower heads at Guantanamo squirt water. All previous Daily Mirror accounts led me to believe that they squirt Zyklon B.

My favorite bit was the part where we served apples that looked good on the outside but were really black and rotten on the inside. Where were those created? Do we have a secret fruit modification lab run by Snow White's stepmother?

'That dog is member of the US army'.

Gitmo is a USMC base. The pooch is a leatherneck.

Gitmo is a joint service Navy base.

"He had a wooden house with air conditioning and green grass to exercise on. I said to the guards, 'I want his rights' and they replied, 'That dog is member of the US army'"

Can somebody please find these guards, buy them all enough beer to last a week and send me the bill

I just want to know why the motherfuckers are being released.

I mean, they are prisoners of war, soooo.... is the War on Terror over yet??

Not on your life! I think that these pricks deserve to be given 3 slices of BACON and two eggs (sunnyside up) every morning until the War on Terror's outcome is decided.

Ohhhhhhh! The inhumanity!

Prisoners who had never seen an "unveiled" woman before would be forced to watch as the hookers touched their own naked bodies.

I was mentioning these allegations on another place, and I realised that their wording was confusing - are the prostitutes supposedly touching the prostitutes' bodies, or the detainees' naked bodies?

He was once in Australia, having struck up a relationship with a senator's daughter.

Whoops, looks like Tim mentioned that at the top.