February 14, 2004
PUPPET OUTRAGE!
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog -- he insults people; there’s a clue in the name -- has insulted Quebec. Now, as Damian Penny reports, Canada is in meltdown:
"So you're French and Canadian, yes? So you're obnoxious and dumb," a satirical sock puppet told one passerby in a taped segment on Mr. O'Brien's show last night.
"You're in North America; learn the language," Triumph, the cigar-smoking dog, hollered at another Quebecker at the carnival.
During the taped O'Brien piece, the sock puppet asked one couple if they were separatists.
"Listen closely," he said after they said they were. "Hear that? It's the sound of no one giving a...," followed by an expletive bleep.
And here’s the reaction:
Globe and Mail Review editor Elizabeth Renzetti was in the audience for the taping of the O'Brien show and said the segment received a disturbing amount of applause from the young audience.
"It left me with a real sour taste in my mouth. It seemed over the top; it seemed cruel, because a couple of the people didn't speak English and he mocked them mercilessly," Ms. Renzetti said. "It was like they had no idea that this is a bilingual country."
Actually, it seems pretty obvious that they did.
"Jesus. This is not going to play well here," said John Parisella, a communications specialist and a former adviser to late Liberal premier Robert Bourassa, after hearing the quotes over the phone.
"This is tasteless. It's extremely offensive to Quebeckers," he said. "This is not the kind of humour that is healthy for the country."
Same sort of thing happened here when the Simpsons in Australia episode aired. Many outraged letters to the editor. Furious columns. One reviewer sought out Matt Groening for an apology. What did these people expect from a cartoon? A documentary explaining Australia’s adoption of the metric system?
I’m far more offended by this:
When Helen Caldicott was 15 years old, she read a book that eventually changed her life.
The name of the book was “On the Beach.” It told the story of a nuclear bomb that killed everyone in the world, except for people living in Melvin, Australia, where Caldicott lived. But eventually, people there got sick and died too.
Supporters of the Melvin Football Club will be particularly outraged.
UPDATE. Oh, now I’m really insulted. Canadian reader Terry Nazar writes, in response to this old item on Michael Moore:
Since Michael Moore is a human being it would make sense that he has some flaws....just like any other human being. What makes Moore different and "more" tolerable, accepting and convincing is his intelligence and of course that's all relative too but on a scale of Bush to 10, I would put him 9 rungs up on "the Dubya" and that would be somewhat higher when we get into the credibility and hypocritical areas.
I'd say Michael has a wit similar to Andy Rooney and he's Revered by Conservative America,so for once in your life, try to do the white thing and be honest.
If you can get by the NC (Neo-Conservative) spell you're under and listen to what he is saying, I would rather live in that world than the one George Bush has placed America in for a very long time.
You saw Hussein come out of a hole and how he looked? Well America has been in one for about 9 months now and as a Canadian living very close to the border and going accross the gorge a fair deal (we also go to the zoo a lot) I see the changes in attitudes in my American friends and feel so sorry for them.
Their main question to us is, don't you guys worry about being blown up? Our collective answer is a resounding NO and then we ask the simpliest of questions.............WHY? Who Hates US (US not to be confused with the United States)THINK ABOUT WHY AMERICANS FEEL SOME PEOPLE WANT TO BLOW THEM UP, YOU IDIOT.
You are indeed part of what is wrong with America.
Terry Nazar
Canada
UPDATE. Yet more hilarious Canadian hypersensitivity. How dare General Motors insult Vancouver's public transit system!
UPDATE II. Reuters reports:
Alexa McDonough, a legislator for the left-leaning New Democrats, described the program as "racist filth" and "utterly vile" and demanded the government seek the return of the C$1 million subsidy.
"There may be those who would say, 'Isn't this interfering with freedom of expression?' It's not interfering to say we will not publicly fund this kind of vile, vicious hatemongering," McDonough told reporters.
Someone should tell that to the Victorian government.
(Via Jarvis, who writes: "I have just one request for Triumph: Go to France, next. Please!"
Posted by Tim Blair at February 14, 2004 05:30 AMI was laughing so hard at the Triumph skit last night I almost passed out. As a resident of Palm Beach, Florida, we see many Canadians down here on vacation. The ones from Quebec are the worst.
The joke down here is "What is the difference between a Canadian and a Canoe? Canoe's tip."
Ok, ok, all Canadian's aren't bad. I like the ones who play hockey and don't hate the United States.
Posted by: mateo_g at February 14, 2004 at 05:38 AMYes, do "try to do the white thing and be honest", tim.
Posted by: goldsmith at February 14, 2004 at 05:40 AMWell, first off, Terry shouldn't be calling other people idiots when the fact that Tim is Australian completely escapes her attention.
And if she can't even figure that out... why should I listen to her again?
Posted by: Lydia at February 14, 2004 at 05:45 AMYou are indeed part of what is wrong with America.Tim, you're American? Who knew? When did you get your citizenship? Congratulations! :-p Posted by: Barbara Skolaut at February 14, 2004 at 05:46 AM
I'm still trying to figure out the part about Andy Rooney being "revered by Conservative America."
Posted by: Charlie at February 14, 2004 at 05:46 AMThe whole reason the world is screwed up involves French. The English word ``outrage'' is imagined to come from ``rage,'' where it in fact comes from French ``outre'' beyond what is proper, made into a noun with -age, thus ``outre-age.'' But it now supports a hidden doctrine ``What is beyond proper justly deserves rage,'' which now is the Public Attitude towards things outre. The idea is so useful that French has re-imported the word, and now everybody does it. The newcomers are the worst.
Posted by: Ron Hardin at February 14, 2004 at 05:58 AMBah, I beat you to this story Tim and already wrote about it on my blog. Without wishing to spark an international incident I had to ask the obvious question: Are French-Canadian Quebeckers the thinnest-skinned sucks on the planet?
Posted by: Randal Robinson at February 14, 2004 at 05:58 AMI wonder if Terry Nazar is as interested in hearing about why so many people (including many Americans) find Quebec to be the erectile dysfunction of provinces as he is in TELLING OTHER COUNTRIES WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?
He wouldn't? Why would that be? Don't we all just want to help our fellow man?
I know I do. I will be happy to provide the above information to Terry Nazar, but I will wait to be asked. I wouldn't want to be thought of as just another pushy American.
Posted by: timks at February 14, 2004 at 06:04 AMTheir main question to us is, don't you guys worry about being blown up? Our collective answer is a resounding NO and then we ask the simpliest of questions.............WHY? Who Hates US (US not to be confused with the United States).
Christ, not again. These smug fuckheads are the worst thing about living in Canada. Nation of peacekeepers blah blah Medicare blah blah social safety net blah blah nicer and so much smarter and subtle than those horrible crass warmongering Americans blah blah. And the place is FULL of them.
Posted by: reg at February 14, 2004 at 06:04 AMYou know, it's pretty damned impressive that an Australian columnist and blogger can have so much influence that he becomes part of what's wrong with a country on a different continent. Kudos, Tim!
(Or was he suggesting that, in your travels in America you somehow managed to spoil it? All I've heard about that trip is that you kept Lileks up late drinking, which sounds pretty inoffensive...)
Posted by: Steve Gigl at February 14, 2004 at 06:05 AMWait, Terry is a 'he'? That makes it worse when a female thinks she's reading the opinion of another female. Heh. Whiny twit.
I'll tell ya what's wrong with America, we allow whiny useless twits to enter our country. What does how Saddam looked coming out of the hole have to do with the rest of that rant? Aren't you supposed to start a paragraph with the main point? Eh... whatever.
Posted by: Lydia at February 14, 2004 at 06:16 AMI have given up responding to the naive cowards of the world. They think what they want to think and nothing will convince them to change their minds.
If other people want to blow us up, as apparently they do, there is only one answer to them. And peaceful dialogue is not that answer.
Posted by: Ted at February 14, 2004 at 06:23 AMWhat could be more insulting to Michael Moore than comparing him to a decades-overdue-for-retirement TV hack like Andy Rooney? "Michael Moore-- like a fat liberal version of Joan Rivers!" "Bowling For Columbine-- it's like a Bob Hope TV special with Ann Margret, Brooke Shields, Rosey Grier and the NFL All-Stars!" "Roger and Me-- like the very most special episode of Moesha ever!"
Posted by: Mike G at February 14, 2004 at 06:23 AMThe Real Story is that the majority of English-Canadians are so beyond frustration with Quebec's hystrionics that this kind of humour has little shock value, except for the Chardonnay/Brie/Volvo set in Toronto who still say "NewFOUNDland".
As for the Australian nightmare of the 80's, "Dr." Caldicot: hmm, Triumph the Insult Dog taking down Helen Caldicott. Now I'd pay American money to see that!
Posted by: Paul at February 14, 2004 at 06:36 AMSO Conan O'Brien's show won't go ever well in Quebec.
Luckily Canadien law prohibits American content television. If any Quebecers are offended, they are law breakers who are running proscribed satelite signals in open defiance of Canadien law.
My fellow Canadians are suffering terribly. You see, it's quite clear that we are morally superior beings to those crass Americans. Yet, for some reason, we are increasingly dependent on them for our security, prosperity and culture. The resentment that this breeds is spreading through the land.
Of course, we could rectify this by returning to the policies of our illustrious past -- ie, lower taxes, more personal responsibility and less government -- but this would make us more like the US. And this is unacceptble.
Why? Because nothing can impinge on our rather timorous identity as a people who are different and in all ways better than Americans. So, watch as we preserve our inflated image of ourselves by embracing a bloated and corrupt government, pursuing destructive socialist policies and all the while looking pleadingly to the UN pleadingly for guidance.
Posted by: chip at February 14, 2004 at 06:51 AM>>as a Canadian living very close to the border and going accross the gorge a fair deal (we also go to the zoo a lot) I see the changes in attitudes in my American friends and feel so sorry for them
As an American actually living on this side of the border, I'm glad Terry has shared this information. I'm in a terrible place, where fears of mad leaders and murderous bombers and, um, changing attitudes, have driven me into a hell-hole where I lie curled in a fetal position waiting for the neocons and/or al-Queda to come and drag me out. Who knew? Well, at least we have zoos.
>>Their main question to us is, don't you guys worry about being blown up?
Whoa! Hold on thar, little buddy!
I believe that mercilessly mocking the Canuks is an AMERICAN pastime. So back off, you bloody Aussies!
Don't make us come down there.
Posted by: mojo at February 14, 2004 at 07:17 AMSurprising that Terry Nazar hates Dubya so much. You'd think that as a vice president of a Calgary natural gas company he'd be able to find some common ground with him.
Posted by: Mitch at February 14, 2004 at 07:22 AMPapertiger,
I live in Montreal and I watched the whole skit last night on the Montreal CTV affiliate. I about died from laughing so hard.
Anyway, the whole bilingualism bit a falsehood for the most part. From my experience, the only functionally bilingual people come from New Brunswick, larger Quebec towns and cities, and the Ottawa area. Sorry, Ms. Renzetti, but I am going to have to call BS on that one.
Posted by: Jordan at February 14, 2004 at 07:32 AMAll said offended Canadians can call 1-800-CRY-WHAA and whine there.
As Triumph so eloquently put it: "Listen closely... Hear that? It's the sound of no one giving a s**t."
-gogman-
Posted by: gogman at February 14, 2004 at 07:40 AMAndy Rooney is revered by Conservative America?
Que?
Posted by: Sandy P. at February 14, 2004 at 07:47 AMAnd Terry can stay in Canada, visit the zoos there.
Posted by: sandy p. at February 14, 2004 at 07:50 AMAnyone who thinks that Triumph is somehow a weathervane of U.S. attitudes about anyone is seriously bent. Triumph insults everyone.
I thought the bit was funny. Did you notice how one of the guys being insulted had the insult (the obnoxious and dumb thing) translated for him and he still laughed? He was having too much fun snuggling with the translator to care. Or how the couple that got the "Listen closely... Hear that? It's the sound of no one giving a s**t," response just laughed, and the woman gave Triumph a simulated bitch-slapping.
Remember, everyone who appeared in the Triumph bit had to sign a release first.
Posted by: david at February 14, 2004 at 07:56 AMAcross the Gorge? That would be Niagara, right? If so, it's unlikely that it's the same Terry Nazar as the natural gas executive. Calgary has a decent zoo of its own, with no American zoos for hundreds of miles.
I also seriously doubt that any Americans ask Terry why he isn't afraid of being blown up. It's the kind of question many Canadians wish Americans would ask them, so they can wax tedious about the Superior Canadian Way.
(And what on earth does this mean?)
...try to do the white thing and be honest.
Posted by: reg at February 14, 2004 at 08:02 AM"...try to do the white thing and be honest."
Oh, so making fun of Canadiens is disgraceful, but expressing that outrage while taking a swipe at American Indians, Blacks, and Asians isn't?
Asshat. Oh, Pardonnez-Moi. Chapeau-Cul.
Coreyk
I think that might have even topped "Triumph Waits in Line at Star Wars."
Posted by: Jim Treacher at February 14, 2004 at 08:40 AMAndy Rooney is revered by Conservative America?
Yes, that's true. There is even a religion springing up in Conservative America called Rooneyism in which worshipers ramble incoherently about mundane subjects. If you hear someone say something like, "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done" or "The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it" then you know you are in the presence of a Rooneyist.
Triumph is a dog after my own heart. Who could not admire the "balls" of a puppet who simultaneously managed to piss off Queberkers and PC clowns world wide in one fell swoop. The site of a 'French' poodle (a real live dog, no less!) getting it Triumph doggy style in a restaurant, while patrons inside watch in horror at the site of a man holding a fake Rotty works his magic on Fifi, the dumbass dog that couldn't tell the difference between a real and fake rogering, was so fucking funny, I fell off the couch on to the floor laughing!!
For all those clowns in Oz who missed it, get pay TV and figure it out for yourself.
As for the comment "Hear that...?" Gold, comic gold.
And Tim, congratulations on your dual citizenship, or have you finally renounced all ties and truly gone to the dark side?
The funniest thing about this episode is that our politically-correct government funded Conan coming up here. This is the same government that is paranoid about "protecting our culture" (from those nasty Americans).
The second funniest thing is that by stepping on some of our sacred cows, Conan has actually done something for our sterile, incestuous "culture". We need the pot stirred and it looks like it's not going to happen from within.
Posted by: Bruce Gottfred at February 14, 2004 at 09:04 AMSo, ummm, what exactly is a "suck" ?
I didn't get that memo...
It's because I changed my email recently, isn't it ?
Posted by: Carl in N.H. at February 14, 2004 at 09:28 AMFirst, Andy Rooney served as a front line reporter in WWII, so please don't confuse him with a fat slob like Michael Moore.
As for Canadians ridiculing Americans about how no body wants to blow them up...if I remember correctly, didn't the Bali bombers strike people they thought were enemies because they were white? And when the bombers were told they were Aussies not Yanks, shrugged and said what was the difference...
Indeed, 24 Canadians were killed in the NYC trade towers.
Quebec: now 50% less important that even regular Canada!
Posted by: iowahawk at February 14, 2004 at 09:35 AMRooney is the lamest unfunny lamer on a television show that is not filmed in Mom's basement. If Nazar wants to assert that Moore's wit is about as sharp as Andy Rooney's, well, then, okay. Haughty, fat, preachy, and unfunny. It's like Moore is the twin who went on a trip at the speed of light and returned 30 years later.
Posted by: Dylan at February 14, 2004 at 09:40 AMSince Michael Moore is a human being it would make sense that he has some flaws....
>>>>>
I've long suspected that M. Moore is actually a blivet.
Posted by: rosignol at February 14, 2004 at 09:47 AMThe episode is replaying on Comedy Central right now... It's about 45 mins into it though. Maybe we missed it.
Posted by: D at February 14, 2004 at 09:49 AMNope, missed it. They may have edited it out. I don't know how long the real show is, but when they replay the last night's episode on Comedy Central it's an hour. So it's possible they cut out unfunny bits or "controversial" ones in this case.
And I have to say to my Canadian friends, if this counts as controversial, then you guys have a WAY more PC culture than we do (and I thought ours had no sense of humor). I guess I knew that but didn't know it was to this extent. Maybe it's more to do with what taboo is being broken. I'm still confident that most Canadians got a pretty good laugh out of it.
I'd think making fun of French speakers would be a national sport up there.
Posted by: D at February 14, 2004 at 10:00 AMWow. Canadians are mad at the United States and feel sorry for Americans. These are the same people who surrendered to the French(in Quebec) and we're supposed to worry about what they think? Oh, yeah. Congrats to Tim on his new citizenship. But be warned. There are French Canadians around here somewhere...
Posted by: gary at February 14, 2004 at 10:15 AM...a couple of the people didn't speak English and he mocked them mercilessly," Ms. Renzetti said. "It was like they had no idea that this is a bilingual country."
It sounds more like it's a *somewhat* bilingual country... otherwise they would have spoken English, n'est pas?
Posted by: snellenr at February 14, 2004 at 10:26 AMI thought Canada had it's own version of Triumph the Insult Dog, only thiers goes by the name of Don Cherry.
Posted by: Lawrence Haws at February 14, 2004 at 10:30 AMThe French and the Canadians make it so easy for us to hate them, it's hardly sport anymore. Shame.
Posted by: nofixedabode at February 14, 2004 at 10:31 AMSo it's an international incident if the Peacock takes a stab at Canadian stereotypes, but it's okay that the CBC's "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" can skewer American stereotypes every week?
If the Canadian government can fund both Conan's trip and the CBC, doesn't that make us even?
Posted by: KR at February 14, 2004 at 10:39 AMI think its obvious that I am indeed part of whats wrong with New Zealand.
Michael Moore is indeed part of whats wrong with Afghanistan.
Posted by: Quentin George at February 14, 2004 at 11:08 AMYikes, do *I* feel like an idiot. I just re-read that letter and NOW see what the 'Saddam living in a hole' reference is. Yeesh. I glossed over that too quickly. I'm going back to lurk mode. Really enjoy your blog, Tim. G'day mate.
Posted by: Lydia at February 14, 2004 at 11:26 AMIt's so cool you're part of what's wrong with America, Tim! :)
Posted by: Donnah at February 14, 2004 at 11:43 AMThere's very few things I'd be prouder to claim as a "problem" for my country than Tim.
However, this begs the question: How does this Canadien chien explain the dozen or so terrorists who wanted to freakin' nuke Toronto, and were staking out the Pickering nuclear station, taking flight lessons, and experimenting with explosives in their apartment when the Mounties nabbed them and raided their apartment full of schematics for Canadian landmarks?
And why do the Mounties keep ransacking the offices and homes of journalists who question Ottawa's role (or lack thereof) in the War on Terror, and shipping unpopular Arabs off to Syria for torture? Why did Chretien give a known terrorist chief with Al Qaeda ties 25 million to build "refugee camps" in the mountains on the Pakistani-Afghani border, that, surprise, turned out to be terrorist training facilities, and why did Chretien PERSONALLY bail that same terrorist out of a Pakistani prison?
Why Canadians don't "worry about getting blown up": Government-sanctioned ignorance and denial. "The Islamofascists don't want to destroy our civilization! It's just America's problem! It HAS to be, otherwise we'd have to DO something about it!"
Who's in a hole here? The Liberals, just like in America. Except, in Canada, they actually win elections.
Posted by: Aaron at February 14, 2004 at 11:57 AMi thought Michael Moore was a cetacean.
Flaws? the bastard has crevasses.
(BTW, you mis-spelled "triumph" in the header- regards from a pedantic prick).
"...don't you guys worry about being blown up? Our collective answer is a resounding NO and then we ask the simpliest of questions.............WHY? Who Hates US (US not to be confused with the United States)"
Canadians don't worry about being blown up because Canada is on the terrorists side.
Thanks for commenting on and linking to the Conan/queeebec tempest Tim. If you think it's tough having France as an ally you should try living with 4 million quebec traitors in your country. It costs us about $30 billion in direct payments a year to buy their "loyalty" (you can imagine what kind of loyalty you buy from frenchmen) and they still hate us.
It's not safe to leave comments on canadian sites, we might get tracked down and charged under canada's hate laws.
Posted by: Abdullah at February 14, 2004 at 12:19 PMMELVIN?!?!?!?
Someone grab me the facts....
"MELBOURNE has retained its position as the best city in the world to call home."
And the rocks. The throwing rocks.
Posted by: Tony.T at February 14, 2004 at 12:29 PMHabib,
"Trimuph" is Australian for "Triumph". How dare you insult my bilingual heritage, etc etc!
Posted by: tim at February 14, 2004 at 01:50 PMI doubt Comedy Central edited it out. It started about 11 minutes into the show and took about 8 minutes. So, approximately 3.375 belly laughs per minute.
Posted by: Jim Treacher at February 14, 2004 at 01:53 PMAnd don't worry, it'll be floating around on the Internet soon, if it isn't already. You can get Triumph's past, uh, triumphs on Kazaa.
Posted by: Jim Treacher at February 14, 2004 at 01:54 PM"THINK ABOUT WHY AMERICANS FEEL SOME PEOPLE WANT TO BLOW THEM UP, YOU IDIOT."
Earth to Shithead,
We. Don't. Fucking. Care.
Just raise you hand so we can properly draw a bead, K?
"i thought Michael Moore was a cetacean."
hey hey! what did Shamu ever do to you?!
Posted by: samkit at February 14, 2004 at 02:26 PMTim, you are so mean. As Triumph would say: "French-Canadians are a great bunch of people...for me to poop on!"
Posted by: Alex Robson at February 14, 2004 at 02:40 PM"Melvin" has a kind of weird appropriateness as the name for anywhere Helen Caldicott was born. It gives off an odour of being inane, derivitave, pretentious and wrong.
Posted by: sue at February 14, 2004 at 03:49 PMI thought Trimuph was a lady with three wazzas, and a burgeoning career in films that go straight to video.
Canadians seem to be northern hemisphere Kiwis- a balanced world view brought about by having a chip on both shoulders.
You saw Hussein come out of a hole and how he looked? Well America has been in one for about 9 months now...
I looked out of my hole some days back and saw my shadow...winter is here to stay until Springtime, back to bed!
Their main question to us is, don't you guys worry about being blown up? Our collective answer is a resounding NO and then we ask the simpliest of questions.............WHY? Who Hates US (US not to be confused with the United States)
Maybe the, uh, Quebecois?
i thought the kiwi's were major lefty fucksticks but it looks like the cAnAdiAns pip them in the "soft-cock" stakes.
Posted by: roscoe at February 14, 2004 at 06:59 PMOne of my favorite moments from Triumph the Insult Comic Dog happened during a celebrity roast on Comedy Central when he told alleged comedienne Brett Butler that she's had more bones buried in her than Forest Lawn cemetery.
Good Grief! Michael Moore's still alive? I could have sworn that I read somewhere last week that he had exploded on a street in downtown Taipei.
Posted by: Fat Cracker at February 14, 2004 at 10:21 PMLucky for them it was not Courage The Cowardly Dog. It would have been pure humiliation!
Posted by: Barry at February 15, 2004 at 12:40 AMHere's the video, but it will only be up for a limited time (so I hear).
Posted by: D at February 15, 2004 at 10:54 AMAnd to think I was getting homesick
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!
Yo Tim,
I live in Vancouver. After my parked car was destroyed by a drunk driver a few months ago, I began taking public transit to work. At first I thought I might do that for a few months,save some money, and eventually buy a car without borrowing. However, a few weeks of exposure to the creeps and weirdos (or should that be spelled weirdoes? - your call) who do indeed infest the buses and SkyTrain induced me to buy a car on credit. The GM Canada ad showing a bus with "23 - CREEPS & WEIRDOS" in the route display sign was a great piece of advertising. (I did not however, buy a Chevrolet Cavalier, but got a Toyota instead. Even great advertising can't make up for an uncompetitive product.)
Might as well put in my $.02 on the other discussions while I'm at it. New Zealand and Canada are similarly goofy. Just as NZ hides behind the skirts of Australia and feels inferior to it, so Canada profits from the protection of the USA while obsessing about its giant neighbour. Neither of them have any serious intellectual discussion going on. As for the Conan's-insult-dog-insults-Quebec thing, I'm not hearing any complaints from any actual French-speaking people. All I see is posturing from politically correct English Canadian dorks. Dorks like Tony Nazar. When he rambles on about "the gorge" he may not mean Niagara but rather the Columbia River Gorge in Washington State where wannabe surfer dudes from the Vancouver area go to windsurf. Tony's written communication skills are pretty much consistent with that demographic.
Posted by: CJ at February 15, 2004 at 06:43 PM