February 10, 2004


Rosie O’Donnell and Hillary Clinton spoke last night at a Human Rights Campaign fundraiser in New York. This site’s undercover NYC operative attended, disguised as a wealthy liberal elitist. Her report follows:

Until we were subjected to O’Donnell’s obnoxious diatribe, the evening was quite wonderful. I attended with eleven (eleven -- count ‘em!) gorgeous men, all in tuxedos, all extremely accomplished (and not all gay). This was a heavyweight political event; Hillary and Charley Schumer were the main speakers, and it's important to note that Rosie's role was solely as a presenter. Paul Smith, who presented the winning argument in Lawrence v. Texas to the Supreme Court, was seated behind me, and my dinner partners included a China scholar, my favorite designer, and a lot of deep-pocket, influential NYC Democrats. Gravitas reigned.  

Now, you know I'm a liberal Democrat. I'm very liberal on social issues, less so in other areas. Rosie, however, occupies a category unto herself. I was able to observe her throughout the night, seated approximately three tables away.   

The first Rosie moment occurred during the auction. The centerpiece was a year's lease on a Volvo SUV. My escort Joe was on the planning committee, and he hoped that the bidding would reach $12,000. It had stalled at $11,000 when Rosie raised her hand and yelled “Twelve thousand!” Ah, the grateful minions fawned over our Rosie, and the prize was hers. My friend Dr. Milt leaned in and said, “Oh my God, don't let her do it.” Dr. Milt teaches at a small private school on the Upper East Side, and at their annual auction fundraiser last year, Rosie apparently bid thousands of dollars that the school has never collected. He was apoplectic, and Joe began to look concerned. Moving right along ...  

Say what you like about Hillary, she can be a gifted speaker when the audience and cause is right. Although I have reservations about her, she roused the crowd with her funny, touching and passionate speech, and received a well-deserved standing O.    

Now the real show began.  

Rosie came to the podium to present an award to an esteemed magazine editor. This appearance was most definitely NOT about Rosie, yet she managed to transform it into an embarrassing, invective-laden diatribe.  

Rosie: “How do I follow THAT? I know; I'll take out my right tit. Everyone take out their right tit.”   

What?? Some embarrassed laughter, some audience rustling.   

China Scholar said, “What is she doing?” This time, it was Joe who was apoplectic. ”I knew this would be a mistake,” he said, sotto voce. ”A huge mistake!” he repeated, less sotto this time. George said: “She's drunk.”  

Then Rosie thrust both arms overhead, fists clenched Rocky-style, and said, “My fuckin' lawsuit's over!” Scattered applause, some titters (so to speak).  

Joe said, “Someone stop her. This is such a mistake!”  

Next, she segued into the Martha Stewart trial thusly: “You know why they sued me? Because I'm gay and because I'm a WOMAN!”  

Really. I would have guessed it was because you were obnoxious, unpleasant, abusive and crude. But that's just me.  

Rosie: “You gay boys with the deep pockets should get down there and support Martha Stewart. Don't let another woman go down for $40,000!”  

What was she talking about? None of us had a clue. The gay boys with the deep pockets didn't know either. I thought I'd have to reach for the tranquilizer darts to calm Joe. As a diversionary tactic, I told him to count the number of times Rosie said “Fuck” during the remainder of her speech. (It was either five or six more.)  

Finally, she got down to the business of presenting the award, and mentioned the honoree almost in passing, along with multiple references to her own coming out. It was the most angry, painful public speech I've ever witnessed. No eye-battings and coy little comments about Tom Cruise tonight, hmm? Poor Joe; he drank two bottles of red wine by himself after that.

Our operative shadowed Ms. O’Donnell for several minutes following the speech, but gave up when she realised she might end up trapped in the ladies’ room with Ragin’ Rosie. She survives to file future Inside NYC reports.

Posted by Tim Blair at February 10, 2004 01:00 AM

"Don't let another woman go down for $40,000"

what, is that well below rosie's going rate?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 10, 2004 at 01:12 AM

I think it was the Daily Show With Jon Stewart that sent a reporter to a Gay Pride parade to ask the lesbians if they would sleep with Rosie O'Donnell. Couldn't find a single one that would. So maybe she considers paying $40,000 a bargain.

Posted by: Randal Robinson at February 10, 2004 at 01:48 AM

I'm now having flashbacks to the day my insane lesbian relative tried to emcee my father's funeral. She and Rosie even sort of look alike. Maybe they are secretly the same person.

Posted by: Anne C. at February 10, 2004 at 02:25 AM

Auctioning an SUV??
Perhaps it was an electric/gas hybrid.
If not.......

Posted by: Randall at February 10, 2004 at 02:37 AM

Rosie's facing a hefty price tag over the failure of her musical Taboo, if I recall correctly. She has no business pretending she's in a position to auction that much money, if so.

Posted by: Anne at February 10, 2004 at 03:26 AM

the suv must be needed to carry her bodyguard's guns.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 10, 2004 at 03:30 AM

Miss O'Donnell felt entitled to her vulgarity and, in that, the Liberal gathering is entirely responsible. They've fought for the PC world, with all of its unearned entitlements, now let them enjoy the fruits of their labor. Miss O'Donnell is just such a fruit (you should pardon the pun).

Posted by: saltydog at February 10, 2004 at 05:18 AM

Rosie's an All-American Churl...

Posted by: snellenr at February 10, 2004 at 08:20 AM

What a pity Rosie bats with the other side. She and Michael Moore would make such a dreamboat couple.

Posted by: slatts at February 10, 2004 at 10:23 AM

So what's Joe's problem? Why didn't he stop her?

Posted by: ilibcc at February 10, 2004 at 11:03 AM

Sometimes you just have to let things unfold, darlin'.

Posted by: Wealthy Liberal Elitist at February 10, 2004 at 11:47 AM

it was jimmy kimmel of "man show" on comedy central who ventured out during gay parade in search of partners for rosie. every lesbian he approached refused to have anything to with "pumpkin head". only one agreed to a single act, but only if it cured global AIDS. enough saud...

when will this woman be exposed as a fraud that she is?

Posted by: darius at February 10, 2004 at 02:23 PM

I think John Kerry should invite Rosie to campaign with him all over the country.

Posted by: spokane4bush2004 at February 10, 2004 at 03:10 PM

slatts, you've now given me nightmares.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 10, 2004 at 10:33 PM

Ah well, at least she's never lost her feminine touch.......

Posted by: gaz at February 10, 2004 at 11:25 PM

Why would any decent people sit and listen to that? I guess the important word is "decent". She should forever be persona non grata and should have been asked to leave, but the Dems are afraid to hurt anyone, I repeat anyone, except GWB.

Posted by: Marrie Walsh at February 11, 2004 at 02:04 AM


I suppose she could have been ejected, but the bouncer was reluctant to damage his sequined gown. Those paillettes *so* scratchy when they come loose, you know.

Posted by: Wealthy Liberal Elitist at February 11, 2004 at 03:09 AM

re: What a pity Rosie bats with the other side. She and Michael Moore would make such a dreamboat couple.

They could support each other during their raging bouts of penis envy...

Posted by: kenth at February 11, 2004 at 05:57 AM

Very amusing, the lefts who are so compassionate
of their gays having to see one of the results
of their compassion,. bet it goes down the drain
pretty quickly.
Yes, she and Michael would be a pair, a pair of
very stupid people. We should make bookends of
them and sell them at gala's like this one.

Posted by: Carole at February 11, 2004 at 09:00 AM


Might I suggest this rousingly good read?


Posted by: Wealthy Liberal Elitist at February 11, 2004 at 10:15 AM