January 20, 2004

PLANET HOWARD

It’s the Howard Dean game the whole world can play! Go nuts Dean style in your own country! Let’s see how Ho-boy’s psycho speechifying works for Australia:

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Noosa Heads, we're going to Andamooka and Werribee and the Bungle Bungles and Shepparton and Yass! We're going to Camperdown and Kiama and Naracoorte! And we're going to Wallaroo and Tennant Creek and Ulla Dulla and Albury! And then we're going to Canberra. To take back Parliament House! YEEEAAARGH!!

Compose your own regional variations in comments. Man, I hope some of those Iraqi bloggers hear about this ("We’re going to Abu Hishma and Mosul and Sulaimaniyah province!"). Bring it on, France, Bangladesh, Spain, Sweden and Bahrain. Do it for Dean!

UPDATE. Via Bill in comments, here’s Right Magazine’s totally danceable Dean Goes Nuts Remix.

Posted by Tim Blair at January 20, 2004 06:44 PM
Comments

Another interesting part of Dean Style is seeing how his Deanie Babies are reacting.

"It is all a conspiracy of the DNC, RNC, and the 7 other candidates. (Even Clark and Liberman who didn't even campaign in Iowa.) Howard waz robbed!!! Blame Rove because he knows Howie is the best chance of a Shrub defeat!!!"

The best thing to come is to seeing how much money Dean will burn through over the next 9? days until New Hampshire getting out his rageful message of being robbed by the beltway insiders. Because as much as Dean supporters hate to admit it, if Dean does not show well in New Hampshire (at least 2nd) the "Big Mo" will have passed him by. Dean will use the money rather than lose it.

In any case it should be an interesting 5 weeks or so until the California and New York primaries when the Democrats primary season will be over. Everyone have their popcorn and beverage of choice ready for the upcoming show?

Posted by: cannon at January 20, 2004 at 07:10 PM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Mount Niggerhead, we're going to Bald Knob and Wet Beaver Creek and Chinaman's Knob and Dondangadale and Lake Cadibarrawirracanna! We're going to Nar Nar Goon and Nyah and Tittybong! And we're going to Upotipotpon and Whroo and Humpty Doo and Burrumbuttock! And then we're going to Canberra. To take back Parliament House! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Kerry Nettle at January 20, 2004 at 07:51 PM

Dean's speech reminded me of the antics of a professinal wrestler...he's doomed--if not now, then certainly against Bush in a general election.

Posted by: Bill at January 20, 2004 at 08:51 PM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Waikikamukau, we're going to Paekakariki and Katikati and the Catlins and the Bay of Plenty and Poverty Bay! We're going to Whangaparoa and Pukekohe and Haast! And we're going to the Maniopoto and the Mckenzie Country and Paraparaumu and Young Nick's Head! And then we're going to Wellington. To take back the Beehive! YEEEAAARGH!!

Myself, I'd prefer Disneyland...

Posted by: Tom Paine at January 20, 2004 at 08:59 PM

But what if he used US city names instead of US states? (City names from Floyd Pinkerton)

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Hell [MI], we're going to Ogle [KY] and Romance [AR] and Sandwich [IL] and Intercourse [PA] and Love Ladies [NJ]! We're going to Dry Fork [WY] and Fort Dick [CA] and Spread Eagle [WI]! And we're going to Deep Gap [NC] and Double Trouble [NJ] and Panic [PA] and Looneyville [TX]! And then we're going to Washington, D.C.. To take back the White House!
Posted by: Alan M Robertson at January 20, 2004 at 09:07 PM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Earth, we're going to Telephone and Tokio and Italy and High Island and Dime Box and Old Dime Box! We're going to Sudan and Iraan and Turkey! And we're going to Muleshoe, Nixon, Kenedy and Canadian! And then we're going to Round Rock. To take back Lone Star! YEEE HAAAAAH!!

Posted by: Theodopoulos Pherecydes at January 20, 2004 at 09:17 PM

Alan - no such list is complete without mentioning the little shore town of Onancock, Virginia.

Posted by: Combustible Boy at January 20, 2004 at 09:21 PM

We are going to the International Court of Justice to decide about the wall.

Justice at last. Bring it on.

I'm not afraid of international law.

Posted by: Andjam at January 20, 2004 at 09:27 PM

I'm not afraid of international law.

And I'm not afraid of using my own internet tag.

Oh, and from which countries will the judges be that'll be judging on the matter?

Posted by: Andjam at January 20, 2004 at 09:49 PM

And you know something? You know something? You know something? ... No?... I rather hoped you would.. no hint? Okay, well, alright then.

If you had told us one year ago that we were going to come in third in Iowa, we would have given anything for that... we did come third in Iowa, right? ... Oh thank god. For a minute I thought... who came first? ... ... ... ... YOU FUCKING WHAT?

Posted by: Amos at January 20, 2004 at 09:59 PM

Let's not forget the South Australian town of Kickamoocow, shall we?

Posted by: Vikki at January 20, 2004 at 10:25 PM

Shades of Rowdy Roddy Piper or Captain Lou Albano

Posted by: Richard at January 20, 2004 at 10:28 PM

Andjam - I think you mean, "You know something, European Union? You know something? Not only are we going to Belgium, but we're going to France and Germany!! We're going to Sweden and Finland and Spain!! And then we're going to The Hague!! To take back the International Court of Justice!! YEEEAAARGH!!!!"

Posted by: Combustible Boy at January 20, 2004 at 10:29 PM

Richard - yeah, former actor and congressman Fred Grandy, who's now a morning radio host here in D.C., has spent all morning alternating that Dean clip with clips of Hulk Hogan screaming into the microphone at wrestling interviews. It's like they were separated at birth.

Posted by: Combustible Boy at January 20, 2004 at 10:31 PM

How many hours until somebody builds a peppy little techno tune around that deranged scream of his?

Posted by: Jim Treacher at January 20, 2004 at 10:31 PM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Wallan Wallan, we're going to Yea and Kalkallo and Pretty Sally and Warrnambool and Tallarook! We're going to Monbulk and Ettamoogah and Nagambie! And we're going to Wandong and Tittybong and Voilet Town and Bumbag! And then we're going to Canberra. To take back Parliament House! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Vikki at January 20, 2004 at 10:38 PM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Jupiter, we're going to Vulcan and Sirius IV and Betelgeuse and Remulak and Trantor! We're going to Tattooine and Naboo and Coruscant! And we're going to Ringworld and Discworld and Deathworld and Flatland! And then we're going to Area 15. To take back the orbital mind control devices! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Dennis Kucinich at January 20, 2004 at 11:45 PM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Oil Trough, we're going to Prim and Fifty Six and the Buffalo and Big Flat and Possum Grape! We're going to Nimrod and Back Gate and Ozone! And we're going to Nail and Point Peter and Snowball and Hogeye! And then we're going to Blue Ball. To take back Arkansas! YEEEHAAAAWW!!!!

Posted by: Rita at January 21, 2004 at 12:01 AM

Deaniacs: Getting their first smell of the bitterness of starry-eyed idealism crushed under the jackboot of hard cold reality.

There'll be alot of therapists making wads of cash in the next few months.

Posted by: MB at January 21, 2004 at 12:16 AM

You know something? You know something? It's time for lunch. Not only are we going to Burrito Buggy, not only are we going to stand in line, we're going to the cashier, buy grande char-chicken burrito, pay for our lunch, eat our lunch, and enjoy our lunch! YEAAAAGGGGHHH!!!

Posted by: Independant George at January 21, 2004 at 12:30 AM

Treacher was right:

http://right-magazine.com/dean_goes_nuts_remix.mp3

Posted by: Bill at January 21, 2004 at 12:38 AM

You know something, you know something, Napa State Mental Hospital? Not only are we going to the infirmary, we're going to go to the dispensing chemist and the straight-jacket tailor and the electroshock therapy room! We're going to go to my padded cell and, if we're good, and stop eating out of my bedpan, we're going to go to the exercise yard! We're going to go to my parole officer and my victim statement hearing! We're going to go to the toilet and the guards might not even be forced to watch! And we're going to take back my sanity!

Posted by: Andrew at January 21, 2004 at 12:45 AM

Alan M. Robertson: Aren't we going to French Lick [IN]?

I wanted to go to the Bungle Bungles, but I never made it. Maybe someday.

Blame Rove because he knows Howie is the best chance of a Shrub defeat!!!

Actually, I heard on Fox News the other day that John Howard opened his pie hole and told the Australian media that Bush had told him the man he feared most was Lieberman. If you mentioned it, Tim, I didn't see it.

Posted by: Angie Schultz at January 21, 2004 at 01:00 AM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Wauchula, we're going to Wimauma and Two Egg and Ona and Thonotosassa! We're going to Attapulgus and Sopchoppy and Zephyrhills! And we're going to Frostproof and Titusville and Okahumpka and South Mulberry! And then we're going to Ybor City (love those Cuban sandwiches.) To take back Florida! YEEEHAAAAWW!!!!

Posted by: Ernie G at January 21, 2004 at 01:09 AM

Myself, I'd prefer Disneyland...


And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Space Mountain, we're going to the tea cups and Mr. Toads Wild Ride and the Pirates of the Carribbean and the Jungle Adventure and the Matterhorn! We're going to the Haunted Mansion and Main Street and It's a Small World! And we're going to the Tiki Room and the Coutry Bear Jamboree and the Luau and a character breakfast! And then we're going to the Electric Light Parade. To take back Cinderella's Castle! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Monkeyboy at January 21, 2004 at 01:23 AM

Angie, nobody wants to lick French people.

Eww.

Posted by: Ken Summers at January 21, 2004 at 01:33 AM

Angie,

Mentioned right here, babe!

Posted by: tim at January 21, 2004 at 01:37 AM

Thanks, Tim. The post was short, so I must have missed it. Glad to see you didn't neglect it.

Posted by: Angie Schultz at January 21, 2004 at 02:02 AM

FoxNews.com has a video link up right now showing Howard going nuts.

Posted by: Bud Norton at January 21, 2004 at 02:19 AM

Sure. Every place is more glamorous than Truth Or Consequences, NM.

Posted by: Slartibartfast at January 21, 2004 at 02:28 AM

I take it you've never been to Krotz Springs, Lousiana.

Posted by: Bruce at January 21, 2004 at 02:41 AM

Ahh... that's "Louisiana," of course. And me an editor.

Posted by: Bruce at January 21, 2004 at 02:42 AM

What a maroon...

Posted by: mojo at January 21, 2004 at 03:18 AM

I caught Howard the Duck live on MSNBC late last night. I was pretty impressed with the way he just flipped those state names out. Then, of course, he probably had a script. And I keep thinking he's going to come back on and announce that he really didn't mean Texas.

Posted by: Wallace at January 21, 2004 at 03:28 AM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to the Shire, we're going to Rivendell and Orthanc and the Pellenor Fields and Fangorn Forest and the Misty Mountains! We're going to Helm's Deep and Minas Tirith and the City of Gondor! And we're going to Moria and the City of Gondor and Mount Doom and Rohan! And then we're going to Mordor. . .to take back Barad-Dur! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: tachyonsnuggy at January 21, 2004 at 03:38 AM

dang, City of Gondor's in there twice.

/wouldn't know how to start a meme if my life depended on it

Posted by: tachyonsnuggy at January 21, 2004 at 03:39 AM

"/wouldn't know how to start a meme if my life depended on it"

How about stopping one? I hate it when they go on and on pretending that they're locked in a glass box.

Posted by: Ernie G at January 21, 2004 at 04:41 AM

Atrios explains it all:

"It is quite hilarious. Dean was having fun and deliberately going over the top and the yaawrl just emphasized that. But, the word from on high is that Democrats aren't allowed to make jokes."

Yeah, he sure looked like he was having fun, huh? Just a bit of lighthearted japery.

Posted by: Jim Treacher at January 21, 2004 at 05:21 AM

NEWS FLASH

It was joke! Dean never crazy or mad, just big put on! Silly Americans fall for it on both sides!

Tomorrow, Howard Dean will reveal true plan, to be next WWE Champion!

Posted by: Sortelli at January 21, 2004 at 05:58 AM

Sortelli,

Is that the next Inter-Continental champion, the No-Holds-Barred champion, or the Heavyweight champion? Me, I'd say start a new chamionship for Ho-Dean, the Lightweight Championship.

Posted by: David Crawford at January 21, 2004 at 06:31 AM

No way, man. The BIKE PATH Championship. He'll take on The Pastor and the Deacon in a three way match for the belt. He'll dance around them with his intimate knowledge of the New Testament.

Posted by: Sortelli at January 21, 2004 at 06:42 AM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Cataluña, we're going to Andalusia and Galicia and Extremadura and Valencia and Castilla-León! We're going to Cantabria and Asturias and Castilla-La Mancha! And we're going to Navarra and The Basque Country and Ceuta and Melilla! And then we're going to Madrid. To take back the Palacio de la Moncloa! OLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Posted by: Franco Alemán (Barcelona, Spain) at January 21, 2004 at 06:57 AM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Sto Helit, we're going to Sto Lat and Genua and the Pseudopolis and Lancre and Slice! We're going to Omnia and Ephebe and Djelibeybi! And we're going to Al Khali and Bes Pelargic and HungHung and EcksEcksEcksEcks! And then we're going to Ankh Morpork. To take back Unseen University! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Quentin George at January 21, 2004 at 07:02 AM

Or Osama's:

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Kabul, we're going to Kandahar and Islamabad and the Teheran and Bagdhad and Tikrit! We're going to Basra and Mosul and Damascus! And we're going to Cairo and Jerusalem and Beirut and Mecca! And then we're going to Ryiadh. To take back the Holy Land! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Quentin George at January 21, 2004 at 07:09 AM

I humbly submit the following fanciful re-write of Howard Dean’s concession speech from Iowa – if Dean were running instead for San Diego County Commissioner.

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Rancho Penasquitos, we're going to Poway and Descanso and Encinitas and San Ysidro and Santee! We're going to Chula Vista and El Cajon and Leucadia! And we're going to Lemon Grove and Escondido and Jamul and Cardiff-by-the-Sea! And then we're going to San Diego -- To take back the County Administration Building! YEEEAAARGH!!

If only our local politicians had such passion!

Posted by: Smash at January 21, 2004 at 07:20 AM

And you know something? You know something? We're going to the ampulla of Vater! And the esophagus! And the duodenum! And the gastric fundus! And the small intestine! And THEN, especially then, we'll go to the anal canal... and take back the integrity of your intestinal tract! BLURRRGH!

Posted by: Alice at January 21, 2004 at 07:25 AM

Smash, there SHOULD be passion about taking the SD County building, the one down on the harbor -- gorgeous place -- trade that view for Lafayette Park any day. " .... we're going to Nestor and Coronado and Julian and Borrego and Santa Ysabel, but NOT to National City!".

Posted by: IceCold at January 21, 2004 at 07:40 AM

I'm glad see someone mentioned Blueball, PA (it is evidently just a little too far down the road from Intercourse, PA), but you missed Pinkstaff, IL and Bone Gap, IL. However, my favorite Illinois town is Beaucoup, IL. Of course, being Illinois, they pronounce it Buckup.

Posted by: JorgXMcKie at January 21, 2004 at 07:57 AM

You know something? We're going to Smallville, we're going to Gotham! We're going to Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, and the Fortress of Solitude, and the Batcave! And we're going to Krypton, and Atlantis! And then we're going to go to Metropolis! To take back the Hall of Justice! YEEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH! DEAN SMASH!

Posted by: scott h. at January 21, 2004 at 08:44 AM

He sounded a lot like (former?) wrestler Ric Flair:

Take the Howard Dean or Ric Flair Challenge

Posted by: John Little at January 21, 2004 at 08:47 AM

From a cave in the North-West Frontier, a runner-up in his self-declared jihad against the Zionist-Crusader alliance announces:

"And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Kabul, we're going to Kandahar and Bamiyan and Hindukush and Peshawar and Kashmir! We're going to Fallujah and Tikrit and Baghdad! And we're going to Timor and Chechnya and Yemen and Andalusia! And then we're going to the Land of the Two Holy Places. To take back Mecca! Alllllaaaahu Akbar!"

Posted by: 9C at January 21, 2004 at 09:04 AM

JorgxMcKie, that was Blue Ball, Arkansas. You mean there's one in PA too?

Posted by: Rita at January 21, 2004 at 09:14 AM

Mojo,

That's my line. He is a maroon.

You know something. You know what? Howard's out of his f***ing mind.

Slartibartfast,

You haved lived until you've driven through Tucumcari, NM. It's lovely there, this time of year.

Posted by: joe at January 21, 2004 at 09:25 AM

One for the Tories...

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Yorkshire, we're going to Fife and Kent and Devon and Cheshire and the West Midlands! We're going to Powys and Norfolk and Fermanagh! And we're going to Berkshire and Ayrshire and Lancashire and Avon! And then we're going to London. To take back 10 Downing Street!

Posted by: Rob at January 21, 2004 at 09:44 AM

"And not only are we going to Wagga Wagga and Woy Woy and Mooney Mooney and Bong Bong and Mitta Mitta and Bong Bong and Pura Pura and Kin Kin and Curl Curl and Pindi Pindi and Dum Dum, we're going to, ummm, Wagga Wagga and Woy Woy and Mooney Mooney and..."

Posted by: Jorge at January 21, 2004 at 10:04 AM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Tenochtitlan, we're going to Tlatelolco and Atotonilco and Coatepec and Tehuantepec and Oaxaca! We're going to Tzintzuntzan and Xochimilco and Iztaccihuatl! And we're going to Huehuetla and Zacualco and Acaxochitlan and Cihuatlan! And then we're going to Popocatepetl. To take back The Temple of The Moon God! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Tex (the Aztec) at January 21, 2004 at 12:01 PM

If Howard Dean were running for Governor of Texas...

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Wink, we're going to Grit and Arp and Iraan(pronounced "Eye-rah...Anne")! and Dime Box and Muleshoe! We're going to Cut-n-Shoot and Marfa and Lukenbach! And we're going to Comfort and Czestahowa and Flatonia and Praha! And then we're going to San Antonio. To take back the Alamo! YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Posted by: furious at January 21, 2004 at 12:27 PM

...If Dean was wearing a monocle last night...

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Pennsylvania Avenue, we're going to Oriental Avenue and St. Charles Place and St. James Place and Community Chest and Chance! We're going to Kentucky Avenue and Ventnor Avenue and Marvin Gardens! And we're going to Water Works and Pacific Avenue and B & O Railroad and both shitty purple ones! And then we're going to Broadway and Park Place. To go past Go and Collect $200! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Rob A. at January 21, 2004 at 12:55 PM

...If Dean was a people smuggler, speaking to his cargo before they left...

And you know something? You know something? Not only are you going to Villawood, you're going to Woomera and Baxter and Port Hedland and Curtin! You're going to Hurstville and Maribrynong! And you're going to Nauru and Manus Island and Christmas Island and New Zealand! And then you're going back to Pakistan and Afghanistan. So start rowing! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Rob at January 21, 2004 at 01:46 PM

ummm... wasn't Tim's original entry a piss take on mark latham ? If you live in the regional areas of Australia, and haven't seen him live, then you just haven't tried. (no i don't who said it first or who it was said about).

Posted by: magoo at January 21, 2004 at 02:00 PM

Can't leave out the US Pacific Northwest:

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Walla Walla, we're going to Hamma Hamma and Penewawa and Tumtum! We're going to Dosewallips and Clatskanie and Wellpinit and Queets and Toppenish and Puyallup and Yachats! And we're going to Humptulips and Athol and Ballston and Beaver and Grand Mound and Nooksack and Whiskey Dick! And then we're going to Wallace. To take back the bawdy houses! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: timks at January 21, 2004 at 03:01 PM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Sioux Lookout, we're going to Ear Falls and Sachigo Lake and Rat Dam and Red Sucker Lake and Shamattawa! We're going to Rathouse Bay and Little Grand and Pukatwagan! And we're going to Webequie and Attawapiskat and Pickle Crow and Moose Factory! And then we're going to Peawanuck. To take back Winisk, if it's not flooded again! Yeeeeeee! It's colder than a bad girl's heart here! Why's my damn toe gone that strange colour? YAAARRRRRRHHHH!

Posted by: Jim Whyte at January 21, 2004 at 03:29 PM

Strictly for fun, the Serbian version:

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Srbobran, we're going to Zrenjanin and Vrsac and Bela Crkva and Kragujevac and Zvornik and Loznica! We're going to Gornji Milanovac and Jagodina and Kursumlija! And we're going to Prokuplje and Vlasotince and Vranje and Podgorica! And then we're going to Belgrade. Down with Kostunica! Reeearrrhhhhhh!

Posted by: E. Nough at January 21, 2004 at 03:45 PM

E. Nough,

Jeez dude, buy a couple of vowels, OK?

Posted by: David Crawford at January 21, 2004 at 03:51 PM

And who can forget the Estonian version:

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Jogeva, we're going to Marjamaa and Haapsalu and and Saare and Hiiu and Tartu! We're going to Paide and Rapla and Viljandi! And we're going to Parnu and Abja-Paluoja and Kivioli and Sillamae! And then we're going to Tallinn. To take back the Riigikogu! Eeaaaaiiiiiaaaaa!

Posted by: E. Nough at January 21, 2004 at 03:53 PM

As there's a Queensland election soon, this ones for Springborg and his Nats:

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Brisbane, we're going to Maryborough and Toowoomba and and Ipswich and Cairns and Townsville! We're going to Rockhampton and Charters Towers and Coolangatta! And we're going to the Gold Coast and Pomona and Mt Isa and Cooktown! And then we're going to Brisbane. To take back the uni-cameral legislature! Yeaaaaaaaaah!

Posted by: Quentin George at January 21, 2004 at 04:03 PM

Sorry about that, David C.! What I really want to hear is the Dean speech translated into Xhosa.

Posted by: E. Nough at January 21, 2004 at 04:15 PM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Tatooine, we're going to Coruscant and Mos Eisley and Datooine and Dagobah and Bespin! We're going to Endor and Echo Base and Kessel! And we're going to Mos Espa and the Cantina and Mon Calamari and Cloud City! And then we're going to the Death Star! To take back the Galactic Senate! YAAARRRRRRHHHH!

Posted by: michele at January 21, 2004 at 11:10 PM

I can't believe nobody's done the WWE version yet:
And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Smackdown, we're going to Raw and Summerslam and Unforgiven and No Mercy! We're going to Backlash and No Way Out and Judgment Day! We're going to Vengeance and Survivor Series and Armageddon and King of the Ring and Royal Rumble! And then we're going to Wrestlemania. To take back the intercontinental championship belt! Oooooooh yeeeaaaah!!!

Posted by: David Hines at January 22, 2004 at 01:01 AM

Didja see that Howlin' Howard Dean is now ripping off the Deltas from "Animal House"? Yup, he was getting heckled yesterday so he leads his crowd in singing "The Star-Spangled Banner." All I could think of was the end of the probation hearing scene, when all of the Deltas walk out humming the national anthem.

What do you think Dean's secret Delta Tau Chi nickname was? I'm guessing something like "Badger."

Posted by: BarCodeKing at January 22, 2004 at 01:17 AM

well, if Estonia was done, i have to do Lithuania.

You know something? you know something? Not only are we going to Druskininkai, we're going to Palanga and Visaginas and Svencionys and and Radviliskis and Marijampole and Kaisiadorys!we're going to Lasdijai and Plunge and Birstonas and Pasvalys! And then we're going to Vilnius to take back the Seimas. YAAAAAARGGG...AUSKAS!

Posted by: stacey at January 22, 2004 at 06:25 AM

Frank J. at imao.us has just posted his version...

"WE WILL NOT GIVE UP!" yelled a red faced Howard Dean in front of cheering supporters. "WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK! AND CALIFORNIA! AND WASHINGTON! AND MINNESOTA! AND OHIO!"

"Alphabetically!" shouted an enthusiastic Dean supporter.

"YOU WILL SEE US IN ALABAMA!" Dean now screamed, his face turning redder, "AND ALASKA! AND ARIZONA! AND ARKANSAS! AND CALIFORNIA! AND COLORADO!"

"Do state capitals!" yelled another supporter.

"WE WILL WIN IN DOVER! AND TOPEKA! AND JEFFERSON CITY! AND BISMARCK!"

"Now do foreign capital!" squealed an enthralled female Dean supporter.

"THEY WILL HEAR US IN PARIS!" Dean continued, looking like he was about to explode. "AND BRUSSELS! AND YAMOUSSOUKRO! AND BANDAR SERI BEGAWAN!"

"Dinosaurs of the late Cretaceous Period!" shrieked a supporter who was worked into a near frenzy.

"WE WILL MAKE THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION AS EXTINCT AS THE MASIAKASAURUS! AND THE BAGACERATOPS! AND THE TOCHISAURUS! AND THE CRATAEOMUS!" Dean's face was now blood red, and he was no longer able to contain the rage inside him. He thus let out a primal, high-pitched yell of, "YEAGH!!!"

Posted by: TimT at January 22, 2004 at 09:54 AM

Well, I guess somebody had to do this, so it might as well be me:

[cue fist-fight music: dah-dah-DAAA-DAAA-DAAA-DAAA DAAA-dah-dah DAAA-dah...]

And you KNOW - SOMEthing? YOU - know something?
Not only - are WE - going to Beta Antares Four - WE - are GOING - to Eminiar - and Vendikar - and Sherman’s Planet - and Talos Four - and Menara!
WE - are GOING - to Orgelius - and Camus Two - and that damned planet that had Apollo on it!
And WE - are GOING - to Triskelion - and Gothos - and Ceti Alpha Five - and Vulcan!
And then WE - are GOING - to EARTH! To TAKE - BACK - the United Federation of Planets!
That's what this starship is all about! THAT - IS - WHY - WE'RE - ABOARD HER!
YEEEEEEAAAAAARGH!!!
[/Captain Kirk]

Love your site, Tim! :-)

Posted by: Mary in LA at January 22, 2004 at 12:05 PM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Paterson, we're going to Jersey City and Newark and Passaic and Wayne and Ho-Ho-Kus! We're going to Princeton and East Windsor and Cranbury! And we're going to Asbury Park and Ocean Grove and Seaside Heights! And then we're going to Trenton! To take the state back from the insurance companies! YEEEAAARGH!!

Posted by: Ex-Jersey Girl at January 22, 2004 at 02:54 PM

Now the Transnational version
And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Kampala, we're going to Ouagadougou and Gaborone and Papeete and Yangon and Kuala Lumpur! We're going to Mone de Deus De Macau and Libreville and Basse-Terre and Kigali and Paramaribo. And then were going to Mongolia ,to Ulan Bator. To take back the Unitary Multiparty Republic.

Posted by: The Dude at January 22, 2004 at 06:30 PM

(For the Wisconsinites up in this...)

Oh, yah, yah. An' ya know somethin? Ya know somethin? Not only are we goin ta Stoughton, we're going ta Hayward an' Ashland an' Lac Du Flambeau an' Appleton an' Sturgeon Bay! We're going ta the Dells an' Prairie Du Chien an' Spring Green! An' we're going ta New Glarus an' Mount Horeb an' Portage an' Stevens Point! And then we're going to Green Bay! Ta take back Lambeau Field! YAAAH HEEEEY DERRRRR!!

Posted by: scottgs at January 23, 2004 at 12:30 AM

And you know something? You know somezing? Not ONLY are ve goink to Nürnberg, ve're goink to Berlin, and Warschau, und Eben Emael, und Sedan, und Dünkirchen, und Paris, und Tobruk, und Stalingr... Nein, NICHT Stalingrad, to create ze Tausend Jahr Reich, YEAARGGGHHHHHH!

OK, so maybe it wasn't funny, but that's who he reminded me of.

Posted by: Emperor Misha I at January 23, 2004 at 01:36 AM

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Karzakan, we're going to Jid Haffs and Malkiya and the Barbar and Al-Mugsha and Eeee Wallah! We're going to Jannousan and Bani Jamra and Nabih Saleh! And we're going to Sitra and Demistan and Mahooz and Zinj! And then we're going to Manama. To take back Parliament House! ALLAH AKBAR!!

Posted by: Mahmood Al-Yousif at January 23, 2004 at 04:57 AM

The California Valley Girl version:

And, like, you know something? You know something? Not only are we, like, going to San Fernando, we're, like, going to Toluca Lake and Burbank and Encino and Reseda and Canoga Park! We're totally going to Studio City and North Hollywood and Glendale! And we're going to, like, Brentwood and Westwood and Rancho Park and Culver City and you know, those kinda places! And then we're, like, soooooo totally going to Beverly Hills. To, like, go shopping and max out our credit cards! OHHHHHHMIGOD!! FERRR SUUUUURE!!!

Posted by: Mary in LA at January 23, 2004 at 05:25 AM

In my opinion, Howard Dean's maniacal shriek is getting way too much airplay in the media. It's practically filling up Americans' senses, and this is just completely unfair.

Therefore, in the interest of the principle of equal time, I believe that every other presidential candidate should have an opportunity to record their own maniacal scream, and those screams should be given just as much air time as Howard Dean's scream. We'll only have a fair election once all the candidates are able to effectively demonstrate, for the American public, their ability to emote like a crazed loon.

It's just the right thing to do.

Posted by: Chuck at January 23, 2004 at 06:05 AM

Combustible Boy: Onancock, Virginia goes great with its Eastern Shore neighbor, Assawoman.

Posted by: Josh Crockett at January 23, 2004 at 07:35 AM