Tim Blair

Get it in the right order - steal their gold, then nuke them. Otherwise you gotta do all the decontamination stuff when you go in to grab the gold.

Anyone ever read David Brin's "Earth?" There's a subplot, sort of, involving a war by all decent countries against Switzerland. Not a bad idea, actually.

The Swiss co-operation with Germany during WWII is well documented. The German's conceded that without vital machinery and finance services that they supplied, their war effort would have collapsed in two months.

Mind you they ended up doing pretty well out of the whole thing, economy intact and chugging along nicely, stolen Nazi gold safely stashed away, deceased Jewish assets quietly confiscated and morality well and truly in the toilet. They have since coughed up some compensation but lets be fair - they have taken their sweet time about it.

But what about the oil?

No war against Switzerland.

No blood for chocolate and well-crafted timepieces.

Alex Bensky:

...a war by all decent countries against Switzerland.

Which side was France on?

What's Frank got against pornographers? Bloody wowser.

You all act like Switzerland is one of those Middle East cream puff countries that will be easy to push over . Dont forget all their soldiers are equiped with the very latest Victorinox Swiss Army Pocket Knives.
They are rugged and versatile.

I second papertiger. They, as in the Swiss Guards, look after the Pope too so they must be good soldiers. Yeah?

...terrorists, arms dealers, drug tsars, dictators, mass murderers, slave traders, people-smugglers, oil sheikhs, pimps, gambling racketeers, embezzlers, pornographers and the mafias of several nations.

Is Zurich the fourth holiest city in Islam?

Alex - yep. Brin made a few good points in that one.

Aren't "drug tsars" the government talking heads who are supposed to lead the battle AGAINST drugs? Why the hell are they keeping money in Switzerland?

War against Switzerland would, of course, be much too difficult: we'd have to contend with the harsh Alpine Winter, the leaders would simply vanish into their secret caves in the mountains, we'd face well trained apple shooters, and, most frighteningly of all, we might find large, exceedingly annoying, singing families fleeing neighboring Austria. And how in the world could we win hearts and minds? How many people do we have who could speak to the (possibly oppressed) Romansch minority?

NOT IN MY NAME! those swiss dudes used to make some neat porno...hang on..that was the swedes! NUKE THE SWISS!

You just made this Yank laugh out loud. If I were drinking milk, it would have shot out my nose.

Nuke them from Orbit! It's the Only Way To Be Sure!

Cheers,
=darwin

What's Frank got against pornographers? Bloody wowser.

He ought to apologise for comparing them to sleazy disreputable characters by the next column.

I wish that the real reason the Swiss are doing what they do is that they pass on more info to the USA than the clients know. But I doubt it. It wouldn't explain why they were so heartless with the holocaust loot.

Doing a bit of googling seems to suggest "Swiss Tease" is some sort of reference, but what is it referring to?

Who's good on WW2 history?

When Stalin nicked all the gold from the Bank of Spain, did he get more than the Swiss did from the Nazis?

How much money did 'neutral' Sweden make from WW2?

Also, as far as I know, "wowser" is an expletive favored by Inspector Gadget. Does it have some other meaning?

Angie:

Brin doesn't say where France was in the "Helvetian War," but presumably on the anti-Swiss side. Somebody had to surrender.

Inspector Gadget said "Wowsers!"

A Wowser is a sort of kill-joy puritain.

The Australian poet C.J. Dennis's definintion:
'Wowser: an ineffably pious person who mistakes this world for a penitentiary and himself for a warder'.