September 26, 2003

WHY? WHY?

Why do they hate us?

Football loyalties rarely invoke shades of grey and now it's there in black and white: Collingwood is the most hated team in Australia.

Very hated. 0ne-in-three Australians despise the Magpies more than any other football team in the nation, according to a NEWS.com.au poll.

Of the 5000-odd respondents, more than 30 per cent nominated this year's Melbourne grand finalists as the side they disliked most in football.

UPDATE. Even artificial intelligence conversation robots hate us:

User: Will Collingwood win tomorrow?
Jabberwacky: I will smash you like the bug you are.

Posted by Tim Blair at September 26, 2003 04:18 PM
Comments

Just tried this one. Not sure for whom it bodes ill or good.

User: Will the Lions win with a goal kicked after the siren?
Jabberwacky: You do have a very big chip on your shoulder.

Posted by: ilibcc at September 26, 2003 at 04:48 PM

I would have thought 30% hatred is a pretty good outcome for the Pies. My survey has it about 75% against, with only demented Pies supporters and the ignorant making up the balance.

Let's hope Brisbane, for Australia's sake.

Posted by: Simon at September 26, 2003 at 05:21 PM

I hate the "Brisbane" Lions more than Collingwood, for the entirely parochial reason that they have caused a huge increase in AFL media attention up here in real football country.

Posted by: Habib Bickford at September 26, 2003 at 05:39 PM

If I may be so indulgent as to provide my own experience with this, I believe the following exchange is heavy with portent for the future of the Anglo-US-Australian alliance.

Jabberwacky: Please talk!

User: Who will win the grand final?

Jabberwacky: We don't play soccer in Texas.

User: I mean the Australian Rules Football grand final.

Jabberwacky: Is Mrs Thatcher an illusion?

User: I do not know. I am not from England. I am from Australia.

Jabberwacky: What type of alcohol do you like best?

User: Beer.

Jabberwacky: Would you like a glass?

User: No. I want to know who will win the Australian Rules Football grand final.

Jabberwacky: What do you want to know?

User: Who will win the Australian Rules Football game tomorrow?

Jabberwacky: Manchester United!

User: Manchester United is a soccer team. Who will win the Australian Rules Football game between Collingwood and Brisbane?

Jabberwacky: Who won last year?

User: Brisbane.

Jabberwacky: London.

User: For fuck's sake. Who will win between Brisbane and Collingwood?

Jabberwacky: I couldn't say, but I hope that who ever it is does well in office.

Posted by: William Bowe at September 26, 2003 at 05:46 PM

Me: Will Collingwood win tomorrow?
Jabberwacky: What do you mean?

Posted by: azza at September 26, 2003 at 05:49 PM

Saw a news report on the Collingwood appeal against Rocca's suspension...
The magpie football manager said words to the effect that they (the maggots) still thought Rocca was innocent, but for the good of football, yadda yadda, they'd get on with preparing for the game.

Very tender, loving words... except it was a voiceover, with slo-mo footage of Rocca's charge, elbow first, into the Port players head...

BTW, we're getting sick of the ubiquitous eddie as well.

Posted by: magoo at September 26, 2003 at 05:55 PM

Why do they hate us? I don't know, I'm amazed, because I know how good we are.

Stick to your own philosophy Tim. It doesn't matter why they hate us. What matters is that we kick the living shit out of them. Or someone.

Posted by: Nemesis at September 26, 2003 at 06:37 PM

The dude dosen't even like Aussie rules:

User:Do you like Australian rules football?
Jabberwacky: No I don't.

Posted by: Jonny at September 27, 2003 at 02:53 AM

Hate Collingwood? Futility, thy name is St. Kilda! I reserve the pure animosity for Hawthorne; it was nice to see the Hawks lose. The Pies looked pretty convincing against Adelaide. Best of luck to your side, Tim.

Posted by: drlivipr at September 27, 2003 at 03:15 AM
User: Will Collingwood win tomorrow?
Jabberwacky: I will smash you like the bug you are.

Proof that AI is really starting to go somewhere.

Posted by: Swift at September 27, 2003 at 04:34 AM

Jabberwocky does get a bit testy when discussing sports. Here's what happened when I tried:

"Will the Oakland Athletics beat the Boston Red Sox?
You are mean."

I guess it keyed on the word "beat". Yeah, Byrnes and Dye are gonna hold Pedro Martinez down so Durazzo can sit on him.

Personnel decisions by Ted Rall:

"Should the Athletics resign Miguel Tejada, or replace him with someone cheaper?
George Bush should stop this nonsense talk right now."

Posted by: Floyd McWilliams at September 27, 2003 at 09:59 AM

I think you have all managed to bore Jabberwockey to distraction. All it will talk about now is Britney Spears.

Posted by: Fred Boness at September 27, 2003 at 10:48 AM

HAHA!!

A.I ROBOT TELL YOU TRUTH!!


COLLINGWOOD WERE SMASH LIKE MUGS BUGS THEY ARE!!

ALLAH and HOMOSEXUALS LOVE YOU!!

SUFFER INFIDEL COLLINGWOBBLES!

Posted by: Haroun Fuqhead at September 27, 2003 at 07:11 PM