September 05, 2003


Reworking one of the themes of his Presidency, Bill Clinton narrates an altered version of the classic fairy tale Peter and the Wolf:

In the new version, narrated by former U.S. president Clinton and called Wolf Tracks, Peter again captures the wolf, but this time repents of his act and releases the animal, who howls a grateful goodbye.

"Forgetting his triumph, Peter thought instead of fallen trees, parched meadows, choked streams, and of each and every wolf struggling for survival," Clinton narrates.

"The time has come to leave wolves in peace," he adds.

In pieces, Mr President. You were meant to say "in pieces".

Posted by Tim Blair at September 5, 2003 12:41 AM

Bet they also left out all the bits where the Wolf menaced the forest critters.

Or not. Consistency is probably not high on their list of thinking points.

Posted by: Brian Jones at September 5, 2003 at 01:49 AM

Tell me this is a fucking joke. Please.

Hands off Prokofiev, Bubba.

Coming soon: 'Manon Lescaut' with revised libretto by Billy Jeff in which Manon, in sensible hiking shoes, ensures she is adequately hydrated according to DoH guidelines when setting out into the American desert with Des Grieux. They all live happily ever after in an environmentally sustainable vineyard in the Napa valley.

Posted by: David Gillies at September 5, 2003 at 03:15 AM

Leave the wolves alone. They're harmless. Well, mostly harmless.

Posted by: PB at September 5, 2003 at 04:02 AM

I wouldn't have believed it without the link!

(pregnant silence)

Actually, yes I would...

Posted by: Tongue Boy at September 5, 2003 at 04:08 AM

I so look forward to Mr. Clinton's revisions to Moby Dick (save the whales!), The Jungle Book (save the tigers!), The Ghost and the Darkness (save the lions!), Cujo (save the dogs!), A Journal of the Plague Year (save the rats! and the fleas!), and Jaws (save the sharks!).

Maybe it will keep him too busy to muck up our politics any further.

Posted by: charles austin at September 5, 2003 at 04:22 AM

He's working on The Bible with himself being resurrected.

Hillary's the Virgin Mother.

Posted by: ilibcc at September 5, 2003 at 11:11 AM

What about the duck?

The wolf killed the hapless duck (portrayed by the oboe.)

Posted by: Debbye at September 5, 2003 at 11:31 AM

I'm laughing so a hard I could vomit.
What an unbelievable loser.
Talk about Larrel and Hardy, the fat russian and the dopey american, very sad.

Posted by: Jake D at September 5, 2003 at 11:48 AM

You don't want to know what he did to Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood.

Posted by: Habib Bickford at September 5, 2003 at 11:50 AM

Actually,Habib, in his article, the wolf discloses that Grandma turned out to be a senile old transexual pedophile who was abusing little Red Riding Hood. So he courteously escorted her to the Sunset Home for Terminal Pedophiles and booked her in for some shock therapy sessions, and took Red Riding Hood to the nearest DOCS office for counselling.

Posted by: Rob (No.1) at September 5, 2003 at 12:20 PM

The implications.... Bill Clinton is, no doubt, busy on an expurgated version of Macbeth which reader, is motivated by a telling motive.The play turns on two medieval thugs Mcbeth and Lady M. whose modern equivalent are the pair Clintallary.

Timely, for Hilary is facing conspiracy charges launched by Jennifer Flowers.

Hilary is a very good Lady M..So many dark deeds, and the stains on the hands resist the scrubbing brush.And Burnum wood to Dunsinane has come.

Hence, Billy having perfected the art of expurgation, now applied to Peter and the Wolf is busy at neutering Shakespeare. No good, Billary Clintallry . Shakespeare is John Wayne paper.

Posted by: d at September 5, 2003 at 12:44 PM

Rob, you forgot to add that DOCS passed Red Riding Hood over to Centrelink which managed to find her a job as an underage prostitute in a South Coast brothel where she was kindly looked after by a leading member of the ALP.

Posted by: Freddyboy at September 5, 2003 at 12:47 PM

And the narrator popped in with a box of coronas.

Posted by: Habib Bickford at September 5, 2003 at 02:15 PM

That sleek silver hair ... can't resist stroking it, despite knowing the predatory mind that lurks beneath.

And wolves are cute, too.

Posted by: Uncle Milk at September 5, 2003 at 02:28 PM