September 04, 2003
It’s a pity they’re not handing out the Stalin peace prize these days. There are so many potential winners:
Hollywood star Johnny Depp said today the United States was a stupid, aggressive puppy and he would not live there until the political climate changed.
"America is dumb, it's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive," he said.
Depp now resides in France, where the political climate is just dandy and nobody ever gets hurt on account of everybody being so intelligent.
Posted by Tim Blair at September 4, 2003 01:13 AM
The drugs have really hit Depp hard, haven't they...
Let him stay. The US is better off without him and his ilk.
He probably thinks "Pirates" was an original story, too. The guy's gone over the edge, he's got puppies on the brain...
Ah harr, me hearties. he still gets more pussy than you (or I) ever will.
Elitism: Yeah, but what good is it if you have to shave it's armpit hair?
When I was a mere, uhm, pup in Vancouver Mr. Depp was a celebrated actor on the local production 21 Jumpstreet. He was so celebrated that he took to trashing his hotel residence in a fit of pique. The police arrived. He spat on an officer. My friend's father was the desk sergeant who booked him into a cell for the night.
Of course, he's changed since then, as only a man who plays a ponytailed pirate or dysfunctional hedgetrimmer can.
You guys should cut the numbnut some slack. At least he had the strength of character to actually go through with the symbolic move to France. Alec Baldwin, Susan Sarandon, and a number of their hollywood allies continue to be all talk and no action, alas.
Here's hoping little Johnny stays in France and continues to favor us with regular doses of his incoherent depp...er, dreck.
I knew the dude would be moving to France the moment I saw those hedge-clipper thingies on the ends of his arms.
Where is Alec Baldwin living these days, anyway?
"Elitism: Yeah, but what good is it if you have to shave it's armpit hair?"
Speaking from experience, unlike you, frog chicks do far more interesting stuff with their hair and their etceteras than you could possibly imagine.
Elitism: You have no idea where I was on my recent vacation to Chicago, bud. It involved all the Eurotrash I could handle, though. Quebecois chics are a notable improvement: They shave, and they're even angrier at the world. Don't challenge me on international tail-chasing. You can't win. I deal with internationals for a living.
"Don't challenge me on international tail-chasing. You can't win. I deal with internationals for a living."
On the web, we're all studs.
Although I'm still laughing at "vacation to Chicago". No idea this level of irony (like goldy or silvery, if yer need a gloss) existed here.
I'm hoping he'll urge his fellow celebs., who hate the US, to join him. I'm sure they'll all just love France. The people are so much more sophisticated, smarter, and nicer in France. I hope they all pack and leave. The sooner the better.
France is having a bit of a problem with a 'few' elderly people who had the nerve to die while the family was on vacation, for the month of August. That shouldn't deter the celebs. from moving to France.
I'm sure they'll get that all sorted out and things will be back to normal. Nobody's perfect. What's 10,000 dead people, more or less? Most were OLD! Who cares? (Apparently not their relatives.)
What a swell place to live.
Maybe I'm missing the irony there, elitist. Perhaps you don't grasp that since Europeans come to America sometimes, too? Or perhaps you're just too elite for me. What I can't believe is that you feel the need to be, well, elitist about that silly joke on Tim's nice blog. ;) I happened to be visiting for the premier of the K-becker Cirque Du Soleil since I know a few folks who work on the show. Beautiful show, but a lot of horrid people. (That's right: You *can* vacation in America and still meet francophones. We have gotten rid of them all. Yet.) I won't carry this on further on here, though. Feel free to email me. Heh.
"France is having a bit of a problem with a 'few' elderly people who had the nerve to die while the family was on vacation, for the month of August."
Heh, it was a lucky strike for the French government though. At a time when it's running bankrupt, get rid of the people who cost them the most money.
You'll all be thrilled to know that Tim Robbins has also broken his silence. I wasn't aware that he'd ever shut up in the first place.
Harry's right about Depp at least having the balls to do it rather than spout off about how much America sucks and how if Bush is elected he'll move to France... and not doing it.
On the other hand, his admiration for French intelligence and freedom is silly. After all, in France it's illegal to insult the president (or mock the national anthem or flag, if I recall correctly). Truly, the land of free speech. I mean, the Bush Junta kills people who mock the President, right?
Mr. Depp is a fine actor. But being a fine actor does not impute any special knowledge or substance into his political beliefs. In fact, it doesn't mean anything but that the man has the ability to memorize small bits of prose and repeat them with feeling and style in a way that most cannot. While it's a skill I'm willing to pay to watch, it not a good basis for trusting his judgment on anything important.
When Johnny says something silly, I just imagine him saying it as Ed Wood, in women's clothes, and I grant him all the seriousness that his pronouncments thereby merit.
Depp thinks he's Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chaplin is his hero. He's always wanted to be Charlie Chaplin.
Alas. He is no Charlie Chaplin.
"Dumb puppy." It doesn't really work as a metaphor for the US. But at least he is hunky, even if his british accent sucks.
Such a shame. I really liked his performance in 'Pirates..'.
Ah well, there's still actors like Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson and so forth.
When you listen to a STAR
(after Ned Washington, Leigh Harline, and Walt Disney)
When you listen to a STAR
Telling you how bad things are,
Mind, that public face beloved is
Sold to you.
Just because their fame is hot,
Doesn’t mean that they know squat.
‘Neath that face, lie other masks for
Folks like you.
Facts are things
That bring to those who seek,
A respite from the freak
Show we’re enduring.
Like some dolt without a clue,
STARS would tutor all of you.
When ‘ere you listen to a STAR, do
Think it through.
That reminds me ... Has Barbra Streisand left the US yet? She promised she would, if Bush won the Presidency.
Depp wants the US to go to obedience school like France did about 440 dog-years ago.
Depp's probably indulging in an orgy of chocolate-eating right now; or maybe Belgian waffles, or cheese. Lifé's pretty hedonistic over there.
Johnny Depp moved from the US to France and raised the average IQ of both countries.
Depp and his fellow wannabe frogs can have their icky chocolate, warm melty cheese and waffles in a heatwave.
Give me a cold beer on a long, wide verandah with a cool breeze soughing over the rise to take the sting out of the sun in the western sky. Dogs at my feet.
They don't know what they're missing.
Elitism for the People's almost certainly a poser, Aaron. He thinks a subway station inside Paris is a racially integrated Parisian suburb.
Of course, that's an easy mistake to make if you point at a map of Paris and write down the first label you see.
It doesn't surprise me that he's unaware that Europeans sometimes come to the US.
Funny how American entertainment industry is condemned the world over for the cretinization of the world. Unless of course, these cretin-inducers are anti-American. Maybe the anit-globo crowd is onto something when discussing the mind-numbing properties of Hollywood?
I read an interview with Johnny Depp in which he catagorised his own family as hillbillies and nednecks - so why would he show any respect to his country?
Other than that, I do think he's both physically beautiful and a good actor. Pity he has this attitude.
As against those of us who are plug ugly hams.
I agree with Depp, any type of "fry" is a stupid name for a chip!
Since when do French people not sit on verandahs drinking cold beer? And as for dogs, check out the footpath. I mean, *really* check out the footpath.
"Don't know what they're missing."
Don't know what you're talking about, more like.
"Of course, he's changed since then."
Yes, he certainly has, hasn't he? Why, he's since become a millionaire several times over! And just as the anti-Bush comments made by Natalie Mains (of The Dixie Chicks fame) earlier this year did not affect her fortunes in any way other than to significantly bolster her already very healthy concert and CD sales revenues, I am quite sure Mr. Depp's box-office draw peoperties will be similarly undamaged, and quite possibly enhanced.
He has to live with Vanessa Paradis. Isn't that punishment enough?
Aw Frog you should be so lucky to snag a skanky ho one tenth as lovely as the estimable Ms. Paradis. Stop gnashing your teeth in envy. I can hear it all the way up here.
Remember when the man was shot outside a petrol station (in broad daylight) in America and nobody did anything, in fact some continued filling up and went in to pay, then left, leaving the man to die slowly on the ground?
Apathy is everywhere. De-sensitisation, prozac induced, whatever.
As for Depp - well, he's just another dissenting voice. That's healthy in a democracy isn't it?
You'd almost have a point, Firthy, if you were talking about 12k+ folks shot outside the "petrol" station (that's a gas station, dammit - don't you get American TV? That's TV, not "telly"), left to die slowly on the ground (as opposed to left to die slowly in their ventilation-free, government subsidized apartments), and all those slowly dying folks would have to get that messy dying part underway in less than a month's time. It's simply not analogous at all. You just flunked Kindergarten Logic 101. Go to the back of the classroom. It's naptime. Shoo!
Maybe you should mention all the chaos and blood-letting during the recent blackout.
Oh wait, there was no chaos, instead there were ordinary citizens directing traffic, offering rides to complete strangers, offering water to those who were trapped in the subway, and dozens of other examples of Americans helping eachother.
I know that wouldn't fit into your ideological bias but I doubt the truth ever does. That was what happened in NY, strangers helping eachother . Whereas in the oh-so sophisticated France, they couldn't be bothered to care about their own relatives.
What incident are you talking about, where a person is shot at a gas station, and people simply step over him?
Please provide a link, as I, for one, have not heard of such an incident at all.
You seem to be conflating two separate incidents:
Sniper shootings at gas stations and
An individual who ran over someone, wound up w/ that person in their windshield, and drove home w/o telling anyone.
In the former case, the snipers are currently being charged, and let me assure you that no one would've just "stepped over the bodies" since everyone would be wondering if they were next.
In the latter case, a jury found the person guilty of first degree murder, and I believe she has been sentenced to a long, long time in jail.
Individual depravity, of course, exists in every nation---just look at the folks who decided the deaths of loved ones in France was not worth cutting short their vacation. Or the two British boys who bludgeoned to death a third, after luring him out. Or the case of Citizen Shikatilo in the Soviet Union. Etc., etc., etc.
This is what happens to actors when they do not have someone writing lines for them. We discover that the true depth of their genius is an inch deep. Acting is the one job that a person can be stupid as all hell and still become a millionaire. Well that and hitting the lottery. And I don't believe that acting is talent, it's skill; a learned practiced skill. Being able to fart the French national anthem is talent.
>Remember when the man was shot outside a petrol station (in broad daylight) in America and nobody did anything, in fact some continued filling up and went in to pay, then left, leaving the man to die slowly on the ground?
No, I don't. Got a link?
Oh, and did that happen to around twelve thousand people?
Hey Dean, John Nowak; here you are.
'Fatal Shooting caught on tape'
'Witnesses apathy also caught on tape'
'That's just one of the worst things I've ever seen' - Police Chief C.H.Ramsey.
Hey John, brother Nikko - only a right wing computer nerd would differentiate between one tragic event and the other to score some kind of political point. My point, that you failed to understand, (there's a surprise for Tim Blair followers)is that apathy is everywhere.
Only a moron would fail to distinguish the difference between the two events, and conflate them as if they they were even remotely comparable. One isolated death at one point in time, resulting from a singular circumstance vs. 1000's of deaths occurring over a relatively extended period of time, all as result of the SAME preventable circumstance. Notice the difference, yet?
Sorry that I can't be any clearer for you ... I left my hand puppets with my other computer.