September 04, 2003

AMISH CRIME SPREE

Let this be a warning to all you car-hating Amish out there:

A driver fired a shotgun into a cornfield and killed a man after being tormented by a group of young Amish pranksters who pelted his car with tomatoes, authorities said.

Seems the Amish always tend to go nuts this time of year. Holmes County in particular is a hotbed of Amish pranksterism:

Holmes County, a rural area that has what is believed to be the world's largest Amish population, sees its share of pranks by young Amish people every fall, Chief Deputy Nathan Fritz said.

"They'll steal their neighbor's buggy and put it on top of a building," Fritz said.

Zero tolerance. Itís the only way to deal with buggy crimes.

Posted by Tim Blair at September 4, 2003 12:38 AM
Comments

If you leave your buggy parked in the wrong part of the farm, you'll come back to find your horse up on blocks. Them Amish get downright nasty when they've spent the night chugging buttermilk.

Posted by: JohnO at September 4, 2003 at 01:28 AM

The Amish suck. And if you Amish dickheads don't like that, you can tell me off right here. Or e-mail me. Whichever.

Posted by: Dave S. at September 4, 2003 at 06:07 AM

Q: What's this?

clop clop clop clop clop BANG clop clop clop

A: An Amish drive-by shooting

Posted by: iowahawk at September 4, 2003 at 06:13 AM

"Steven L. Keim was with about 10 other members of the Amish community, ages 15 to 23, who were hiding in the field Monday night, throwing tomatoes and firing paintball guns at passing cars," (emphasis mine)

Must be the 19th-century numbers with dovetail joints and pegs and such. WTF?

Posted by: Paul Dubuc at September 4, 2003 at 10:36 AM

I heard some of them Amish are into buggy ram-raids, stealing their neighours' spinning wheels.

Posted by: Freddy at September 4, 2003 at 03:00 PM

Q: Why don't the Amish ever have sex standing up?
A: 'Cuz they're afraid DANCING might break out.

Posted by: Peta Piper at September 4, 2003 at 06:08 PM