August 11, 2003


Column by me in todayís Australian. Itís an edited, updated version of my Quadrant speech from a few weeks ago, with most of the jokes cut for space reasons. To recreate the experience of attending the speech, simply click these as you read, and then this at the end. And imagine lots of sensational gags that you arenít actually seeing, and which possibly werenít in the speech in the first place. Itís just like being there!

Posted by Tim Blair at August 11, 2003 02:32 AM

Damn those imaginary gags really were sensational, although I found the one about the goat and the nun to be highly offensive.

Posted by: ross at August 11, 2003 at 05:11 AM

Are you thinking what I'm thinking B2?

I think I am B1.


Bananas in pyjamas
Are coming down the stairs
Bananas in pyjamas
Are chasing Timmy Blairs...

But seriously, folks - that is one of the worst columns I have ever read. God alone knows how excruciating the actual live event must have been.

Paragraph after paragraph of complete idiocy. Me Tim. Me spit dummy big time.

Awww. Poor lamb.


Posted by: B1 at August 11, 2003 at 12:25 PM

"Paragraph after paragraph of complete idiocy". Can I use that as a promo line on my book?

Posted by: tim at August 11, 2003 at 01:04 PM

Feel free to use any and all quotes. A personal favourite is "This book fills a much needed gap".

Somebody famous said that, but I can't remember who. I'm sure they won't mind you nicking it.

Posted by: B1 at August 11, 2003 at 02:38 PM

..."simplification of complex issues, irresponsible exaggeration, inaccurate predictions, pandering to the lowest elements of the audience..." It sounds like Dubya on a good day!

When market forces rule the ABC we can all be silent, consume and die.

Posted by: Johnno at August 11, 2003 at 03:23 PM

I live elsewhere in the world, and am not fully congnizant of the ABC, but if the comment by the dumbrag above says anything about them, then they must be a pack of fools.

Posted by: wallace at August 11, 2003 at 03:23 PM

Who is tabloid ABC's Page 3 girl?

Posted by: pooh at August 11, 2003 at 03:50 PM

The ABC news and current affairs division needs closing down ASAP. There is no way that it can be reformed. A simple slash and burn approach is the only way. These people just don't understand balance.
The only good thing about the ABC news and current affairs programmes is that one can usually gurantee that they will be wrong on all counts. Whilst this can serve to sharpen the critical faculty of the listener, there are times when one would just prefer the facts, withpout all the lefty editorial flummery.

Posted by: Toryhere at August 11, 2003 at 04:03 PM

In the Left corner, Editorial Flummery! In the Right corner, Bigoted Wankery!

Seconds out, Round number one!

"These people just don't understand balance".


"The only good thing about the ABC news and current affairs programmes is that one can usually gurantee that they will be wrong on all counts".

Hmmm. I vote Toryhere for head of ABC. He/she can clearly teach us all a thing or two about "balance".

Let's get ready to rumble!

(And the crowd goes wild! Flu-mme-RY! Flu-mme-RY! Flu-mme-RY!)


Posted by: BiasedLefty at August 11, 2003 at 05:56 PM

Heh heh!

I don't get to watch much telly, let alone the ABC. But occasionally on Sunday morning I'll switch on to have a look see. (Over my elite lefty croissant and latte, naturally).

And who do I see? That peabrain, Andrew Bolt. I swear it's true. EVERY time I turn on the freaking ABC, Andrew Bolt is on, mouthing inanities, talking over other people.

Bias? Abso-bloody-lutely!

The other day they had Greg Sheridan on there too. It goes from bad to bloody dire. And they keep showing sound bites of the arch clown himself - Johnny Lie-la-Lie Howard. God save us! I have to turn on the mute button so as not to frighten the kids!


It's got to be stopped. Before it's too bloody late. Before Tim Blair appears on my screen.


Posted by: bigted at August 11, 2003 at 06:22 PM

Ha ha ha! Looks like Tim got the ABC supporters stirred up with this one!

All those lefties springing out of the woodwork to defend their beloved tax-funded propaganda venue.

They wouldn't be so upset if they didn't have so much to lose.

Posted by: Indole Ring at August 11, 2003 at 06:27 PM