August 06, 2003


Googling around for some statistics on the Australian Greens, I discovered that an ex is now campaigning for them.

Another ex works for the ABC. Another is an environmental activist. Another is some kind of Labor Party functionary. (Another is a shrink, who might be useful if this bunch ever gets together.)

Readers are invited to submit their own stories of Carville-Matalin romantic mismatches, and to explain this terrifying intrapolitical phenomenon.

Posted by Tim Blair at August 6, 2003 01:54 AM

Good job, Tim. It's the political equivalent of turning girlfriends into lesbians.

Posted by: Joe G. at August 6, 2003 at 01:56 AM

All my girl-friends, past and present, have been either Leftist terrorist commandoes or fundamentalist astrologists.
With one exception, Stephanie, who was a rich member of the Liberal Party.
I let her slip away, damn it.
A hard-headed, left-brain, rationalist-populist Righty guy like me is prone to autistic isolation.
We need soft-hearted, right-brain, emotionalist-elitist Lefty gals to provide neurotic consolation.
This is what is known as emotional balance.

Posted by: Jack Strocchi at August 6, 2003 at 02:47 AM

Me and the Mrs. pretty much vote opposite-ticket. I'm not sure I ever even dated a Republican, come to think of it...

Posted by: Andrew at August 6, 2003 at 02:48 AM

One of my ex's was a vegan. She wouldn't even eat jelly beans because they were "made of cow's hooves" or something.

Posted by: Yobbo at August 6, 2003 at 04:05 AM

I am a proud member of the Vast-Right-Wing Conspiracy here in the US, always looking for land to either, (1) chop down some trees, (2) install oil wells, or (3) kill cute fury animals. My wife is a commie. I mean, a real commie. She came to the US in 1997 from Russia. She refers to the Eastern Europeans as ungrateful bastards and remembers chanting "Nyet Nyet Pinochet!" We met in law school. She's such a commie, she almost failed her property law class because she couldn't grasp the concept of the state not owning everything. She longs for the days of Breznev (sp?), when everyone was scared to death to sneeze. Slowly, but surely, she's starting to see the light (except for her stubborn belief that Russia won WWII all by themselves).

Posted by: Jorge at August 6, 2003 at 05:04 AM

Geeze, Tim, how many ex's do you HAVE?

Evidence of a shallow learning curve?

Posted by: mojo at August 6, 2003 at 06:02 AM


You should be careful about using the word "date" on an Australian blog.In the Australian vernacular a "date" is a rectum. Thus to "date" someone has a somewhat humorous ring to it on these shores.

I once went out with a girl who later became an ABC TV reporter. I remember one night getting stuck in a political debate with her and 3 of her silly lower middle class lefty mates in an a seedy Annandale house. It was an uneven contest, as these people thought that the solution to poverty was to print more money.

Posted by: Toryhere at August 6, 2003 at 08:58 AM

Man, you're a machine! Obviously, you need to take some kind of oath or pledge or something. Something that includes celibacy. But for all our sakes, stop having sex! I mean sure, we've all hatched some lesbians in our day, but the trail of destruction in you're wake is beyond the pale. You're like some freaky Johnny Appleseed of lefty fembots. Oh, and since you're this mad-scientist of Lefty-love mutants, I think you have a moral obligation to find a way to switch them BACK. Like Dr. Shrinker.
Lot's of Americanisms in there, but you get the idea...repent!

Posted by: John-o American-o at August 6, 2003 at 11:25 AM

One of my previous girlfriends is a staffer for Andrew (Chicken Man)Bartlett, another is an elected official at the ACTU; they both think I am a Nazi. (But who hasn't fantisised about being ravished by a Nazi?)

Posted by: Habib Bickford at August 6, 2003 at 12:19 PM

Tory -

Thanks for the language tip. At least I used it in the negative (although my declaration of uncertainty makes it perhaps more risque than if I'd declared it out right).

What, then, is the vernacular for a "date" -- as in, the romantic evening out?

Posted by: Andrew at August 6, 2003 at 12:55 PM

My husband and I think so alike in politics it's just about scary--both American conservatives, both suspicious of the extreme right, both disdainful of the lefty-left left. Therefore, we're considered moderates (if not closet liberals) by our extremely righty friends and fire-breathing Republicans in the lefty media circles I work in.

Offered as an example that conservative men can find female soul mates of same mind--just keep looking!

Posted by: JW at August 6, 2003 at 01:08 PM

My wife is a hard right winger - because that's what I tell her to think. She still votes for her Dad though and he is in the ALP (state level). But she reckons John Howard's doing a great job!

Habib, should I take a second wife because Allah allows it? (One is enough hassle already though)

Posted by: Razor at August 6, 2003 at 01:18 PM

Andrew- the term I think you are seeking is "root".

Posted by: Habib Bickford at August 6, 2003 at 02:22 PM

This is just an update about date. I don't know about this business of "date" not being used in Australia. I certainly have never heard the word used in the context of anal sex - well, not to date anyway. And if you go on a date, you go on a date. Simple.

Posted by: Gabor at August 6, 2003 at 02:23 PM

And Razor- the Koran says that many wives are a sign of a blessing from Allah (and a cause of elective deafness), but lots of girlfriends is fully sick. Especially if one or more of them have their own Skyline GT with full doof kit.

Posted by: Habib Bickford at August 6, 2003 at 02:26 PM

Gabor has obviously never heard a State of Origin call by Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson.
"mate against mate, state against state and date against date".

Posted by: Habib Bickford at August 6, 2003 at 02:28 PM

I went out for several months with a "refugee" activist who edited an international law journal. I baited her right through the Afghan campaign and the November 2001 Federal election with my predictions of US and conservative success, which were always proven right to her dismay. I also taunted her about the ineffectual nature of the UN and the stupidity of her Amnesty International colleagues.

It was great fun.

Posted by: Alan Anderson at August 6, 2003 at 04:11 PM

I used to date a wretched bleeding-heart. My Our pet-names for each other were "commie" and "fascist".

It was rather sweet actually.

Posted by: Sasha at August 6, 2003 at 06:01 PM

Dated (in the correct sense of the word - never has it been predominantly used in the Australian vernacular to mean "anal") a leftie-greenie type in 2001 myself. 2001 was, ahem, an explosive year. Barracking for the destruction of the Taliban therefore did not go down particularly well with feminists who wanted to keep the Mullahs in power.

Posted by: Steve Edwards at August 6, 2003 at 06:08 PM

One of my exes worked as Mike Carlton's producer. Another one was a right wing death beast and we broke up when I heard this news. And yet another ended up in a psych ward. I have zero luck.

Posted by: Caz at August 6, 2003 at 06:51 PM

My soon to be wife is a Swedish born social worker who came over to Australia to study. Somehow she is able to overlook the fact that I'm a pro-American, pro-Howard, anti-EU/UN, anti-transi, anti-commie, emotional right wing beast.

Posted by: Jimbob at August 6, 2003 at 07:24 PM

that's 'death beast', jimbob

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 6, 2003 at 11:42 PM