Tim Blair

When I was 10 I thought Fatty Vautin was a bit of allright.

The most inexplicable celebrity crush of all time: the French and Jerry Lewis.

Gross.

Re: 70s album cover art.
Well it's a borderline 70s/80s album: The Best of Blondie. But my parent's had it and I used to wack off to the Deborah Harry poster slipped inside.

Eeewwww. That's way more information that we needed!

•Unusual addictions;

Cookie dough, but only when I'm in shape.

(my rule is that if I look like cookie dough, i shouldn't be eating it)

I love Jeanne Tripplehorn.

I have an addiction to this bloody website.

I once stepped in dogshit eight times in a month.

I have this recurring dream where I'm eating Lego...

Tastes pretty good, actually.

"I used to wack off to the Deborah Harry poster slipped inside."

I don't know how Harry scrubbed up in the '70s, but Judith Torzillo isn't bad for 11.

Cheers,
Kerry O'Brien

I also had a crush on the chick from that ad for Impulse where she was a spy and she gets a call from a guy saying "the film is in the flowers" and she puts on the perfume spray and she goes to the meeting place where some bloke gives her flowers and when she gets back to the hotel room there wasn't any film there because he wasn't another spy he was just some bloke who had some flowers and gave them to her because she smelled nice and because she was hot. The final scene shows the spy still waiting with the flowers that had the film in them.

Mon cher Ernie G,

Je suis très urinee with vous. Vous can't tell la merde du shinola.

How le fuque vous critiquer le grande Jerry? He's the plus grand comédien qui a jamais vécu, even more plus grand que Woody Allen.

This is gonna date me but when growing up I had the hots for Annette Funicello - she was the first of the Mouseketeers to develop breasts. A few years later came the Beach Blanket movies. Ah, young lust.

ZsaZsa, I always thought you were a chick.

What makes you think I'm not?

Brad Dourif was way hotter in The Two Towers than Viggo Mortensen.

Maybe ZsaZsa is. "Not that there's anything wrong with that." :)

-Vic

What makes you think I no longer do?

Okay, enough of this talking to myself nonsense, I'm about to drive myself crazy.

ZsaZsa you know we're meant for each other!

Weasels Ripped My Flesh by Zappa is one of the better 70s album covers.

Dame Edna said the same. Afterwards she said she would never again become involved in such relationship: it seems I left quite a bad taste in her mouth.

Rick,

Golden Filth by the Fugs would have to be one of the worst albums of the 70s, if not all time.

70s Album Cover Art: I punt to start because I didn’t become musically aware until the mid 80s and have never pined for the alleged good-ol’-days. I remember, when very young, pondering the cover to my mother's Rubber Soul, but that’s 60s, isn’t it?

Unusual Addiction: Scrolling through blogs late Friday night looking for a fresh posts—not seeing any—then repeating. Visiting the picture of the day at RetroRaunch.

Traumatic Childhood Incidents: When about eleven , I struck a female friend with a snowball. Her older thug brother, and all my other friends retaliated by shoving me down, yanking off my pants, and laughing at my eleven-year-old penis. Perhaps it was this that led to years of sexual insecurity and bitter self-pleasure. But probably not.

Passive Aggressive Relatives...: Not me. Why would you think it's me?

Inexplicable Celebrity Crushes: Well, the explicable ones are, 1) for my crowd and my generation, Winona Ryder, and 2) whoever is starlet of the week. For inexplicable: it has to be Johnny Depp. Not because we are both Manly Men, but because of the whole France thing.

Johnny Depp wearing eyeliner...and nothing else.

"El Dorado" by ELO.

And here's a link to it: http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000025DP.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

About 70's album cover art, have you ever seen some of those? Jeez, you'd think they were high on something.

Eddie MacGuire......GAY ICON

70's cover art: My favorite used to be the inside cover of Yes's Close to the Edge; pretty much anything by Dean will do. I also liked the cover of Tales of Topographic Oceans, but I never got around to buying that. Then there is Led Zepelin's Physical Graffitti, but that was mostly for cleverness.

Inexplicable celebrity crushes: I used to think that George Takei (Sulu on the Original Star Trek) was all that. Then I fell even more inexpicably for the Beatle-wigged Walter Koenig (who played Chekhov on same). I never got the thing everyone else had for Shatner; I mean, could Kirk have been any queenier? As for Leonard Nimoy, well, one does not "love" a Vulcan.

Passive-aggressive relatives: all of them. Coworkers: I used to work with telemarketers. Need I say more?

Unusual addictions: I am not at liberty to disclose such information until I have consulted with my attorney.

Traumatic childhood incidents: I have seen Phyllis Diller on tv and lived to tell about it.

•'70s album cover art; Anything 60's, 70's, or 80's - Eww.

•Unusual addictions; I'm addicted to molding polymer clay. Something about the feel.

•Traumatic childhood incidents; realizing my parents actually did the dirty.

•Passive-aggressive relatives and co-workers; All dead now. Don't ask why.

•Inexplicable celebrity crushes. Victor Webster of MutantX. Well, not inexplicable really: he's pure beefcake. It's a Canadian production. Maybe you don't get it in Oz?

When I think 70s album covers, the first one that comes to mind shows two guys standing and shaking hands in what appears to be the back lot of a movie studio, and one of them is on fire. I think the cover was done by Hipgnosis, but I'm having a senior moment as to the album itself.

Ernie,

It's one of the Pink Floyd albums, if that helps.

It's Wish You Were Here.

Celebrity crushes. Am I the only guy out there who automatically gets a woody as soon as
Gwen Stefani's voice comes on the radio?

Lets go through everyone of them.

•'70s album cover art-I am thirteen, how would I know anything about this.

•Unusual addictions-Does crystal meth count as unusual? (just joking, no need to worry about the state of youths today.)

•Traumatic childhood incidents-I am just starting to rack these up, lets wait a couple years till there not so fresh in my mind, and i can make up something really funny and not even remember i am lying.

•Passive-aggressive relatives and co-workers-My mom hits me when i miss behave. My mom makes me and my brother do work around the house, and he is passive-agressive-co-worker-relative, whew.

•Inexplicable celebrity crushes-Is Michael Moore a celebrity. Cause i like Women with big butts. LOL.

You ever had that Japanese snack food, Pocky? I can't stop eating it.

-W.

pink floyd, wish you were here..shaking hands with the dude who's on fire. whats that about? i dont know but it worked. great album too.

W - Yup I know them. buy the thai ones they are MUCH cheeper (well they should be anyway). and are the same thing. I think they have some from korea too.

I always found Arnold Ziffel from "Green Acres" oddly alluring.
Album art- the first solo album by Ringo Starr came with a fourteen page book of lithographs by Klaus Voormann, who played bass on the record as well. (The book was part of the album cover).
I was menaced by a basset hound on a pub verandah near Cairns when about four years old, and to escape his slavering jaws, threw myself off a small cliff.
I used to secretly eat Nestle malted milk powder, which would congeal on the roof of my mouth.
We had a co-worker dubbed "The Brown Bottle" after the famous super-hero in "Viz" magazine, for his miraculous ability to transform from a meek, mild-mannered individual into a lean mean fighting machine after ingerting more than three pots (10fl oz beers).

70's Cover Art:
Earthquake, "8.6 on the Richter Scale"

My ten-year-old big brother made a tandem tricycle by removing the front wheel of one and placing the front forks over the rear center strut of the other. Trundling the contraption out to the street, he took the front seat with me at the rear. Our house was fifth from the corner on a steep hill. He took off, pedalling furiously, and reached warp speed by the time we reached the corner, whereupon executed a vicious right turn. The rear tricycle uncoupled and despite the lack of a front wheel, continued straight onto the road with sparks flying from the front forks. I hit the passing car amidships and was removed from the scene with severe concussion but no flesh wounds. The car driver was traumatised and my brother returned to the shed to work on a vehicle for two with better cornering abilities.

Exile on Mainstreet--great cover and even greater content. But when I was kid in the early 70s my parents had an album called "Whipped Cream and Other Delights" by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. The cover was simply a photograph of an incredible dark-haired beauty covered with strategically placed dollops of, you guessed it, whipped cream. Talk about capturing the imagination of a seven year old: The seeds of my obsession with both food and women were fixed.

I used to have a crush on Dutch tennis tank Brenda Schultz when I was a kid. What a sicko.

"Nice and Greasy" by "Atomic Rooster" featured the pleasant image of two fried eggs congealed in grease, with several cigarettes stubbed out on them.
Suzi Quatro was attractive in a midget/leather fetish sort of way, and later in a particularly drunken period I found Polly Styrene out of "X-Ray Specs" mildy attractive; I hated disco, but Donna Summer's ability to deepthroat a sennheiser stage mike was impressive.

ilibcc: Great story; gotta admire the resourceful brother who doesn't let a little collateral damage hinder development.

•Unusual addictions; I'm addicted to molding polymer clay. Something about the feel.

I didn't know you could grow mold on polymer clay. Live and learn, I always say. That it turns out to be addictive is beyond coincidence.

•'70s album cover art: One of my favorite possessions is the 1978 book 'Walk Away Rene: The Work of Hipgnosis', which has the stories behind lots of album covers, including ones for Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin (plus lots of bands I'd never heard of, like Wishbone Ash). Best one: George Hardie's design for Led Zep's live album 'The Song Remains the Same'. How can you now get that standard of cover art on a 'canvas' the size of a drinks coaster, i.e. a CD?

•Unusual addictions: I know someone who's a fan of Blake's Seven.

•Traumatic childhood incidents: when I was 7 I was telling the story of David & Goliath to the mother of one of my school friends. She laughed - I later realised, because she must have thought I was so cute. But I thought she was laughing AT me, and I've been shy ever since.

•Passive-aggressive relatives and co-workers: it's the aggressive-aggressive ones I'm afraid of. I'M the passive-aggressive one.

•Inexplicable celebrity crushes: the woman in the Genital Herpes Fact Pack ad. She's also at the top of the screen here:
http://www.thefacts.com.au/
What I find truly inexplicable is how anyone could fancy Jennifer Aniston. Not long ago I saw her on the cover of four different magazines at once in the same newsagent.

Re: 1970's Album Cover Art--

When coalition forces took over Saddam's Presidential Palaces and found all the tacky "sword and fantasy" art on the walls, I thought of '70's acts like Molly Hatchet (US Southern Rock).

Think Uday might've had a Chevy panel van with wall to wall shag carpet, an 8-track player, and a roach clip dangling a feather hanging from the rear view mirror?

"If this van's a rockin', don't bother knockin'!"

Always had a soft spot for this early 70's cover for the band Toe Fat. Know nothing about the music though. Remember, no PhotoShop back then.

Polymer clay covers a broad area. Can we be a little more specific here. Are we talking Sculpey? Castilene? Plastina? Dammit, I knead to know! You can't just leave us hanging like that if we are talking fetishes here. Huh? Unusual addictions... oohps. Did I type that out loud?

Nothing comes within an ocean of Warren Zevon's Smith and Wesson perched steak-like on a plate of cooked vegetables on the inner-cover of Excitable Boy. One of the greatest records in history.

As a young girl, I had a crush on Robin Gibb. Silly, yes. But this was during the "Saturday Night Fever" heyday, so even a five year old would take notice. And since I was so young, it never got beyond the thinking of "oh, he's cute." Looking back, I cringe. He was the worst singer of the Bee Gees and had those funny chipmunk teeth.

When I was about 8, I wrapped a large chain around a tree branch for climbing. About 10 feet off the ground the chain came undone and scrapped my backside bloody. I didn't tell my parents at first, but that didn't last long, 10 minutes later I was on my way to the family physician to get my rear examined. The doctor gave my parents cream to apply to some my most sensitive areas for weeks. Needless to say, I don't climb stuff anymore.

Snorky out of the "Banana Splits" caused some fantasies involving nose jobs, and I'm not talking elective surgery.

We had a clinically insane person working with us for a while- he took a dislike to how a person was driving the car he was a passenger in, so he opened the door and decamped into four lanes of traffic at about 75kph. When crabby, he could slam a walk-in safe door that took two people to close, and often when we came in to the office in the middle of the night for an overtime job, he would be sitting at his desk in the dark.
We were all waiting for him to turn up one day with a mini 14 (the favourite weapon of choice for mass spree killers) and run amok.
Lucky we didn't work in a post office.

I wonder if this'll get published in the MediaWatch guestbook:

"AM" says http://www.abc.net.au/am/content/2003/s906317.htm
"For now, Israel remains the Middle East's only nuclear power."

Has someone "sexed up" ABC's intelligence? Some may have the *opinion* Israel has nukes, but it hasn't reached the status of generally-agreed fact.

•'70s album cover art: It’s not a cover but that little booklet of prog-rock art that came with Rick Wakeman’s Journey to the Centre of the Earth was nice.

•Unusual addictions: Horlicks

•Traumatic childhood incidents: After PE in the showers (I was the last in my grade to reach puberty)

•Passive-aggressive relatives and co-workers: I’ve forgotten more about passive aggression than my co-workers will ever know!

•celebrity crushes: Jennifer Beals’ body-double in Maniac.

While Andjam may be off subject, you may have noticed that the ABC has reported that the BBC 'acknowledges' that David Kelly was the MoD source. 'Acknowledges' is so much nicer a word than 'admits' don't you think? Like the gentle nod of a wise head. And no talk of 'embattled media giant' either. You can almost hear the sound of the lately-underused soft pedal being squeezed like the wheezy brakes of a big ol' bus.

Inexplicable celebrity crushes: The Brand Power chick. She helps us buy better. Yay.

When I was three my father tied a piece of rope around the neck of my doll, Dolly Green, and tied the other end of the rope to the arm of the Hills Hoist. Then he spun the hoist. There I am, running round and round in circles under the Hills, arms in the air, crying "Dolly Green, Dolly Green". Is it any wonder I turned out this way?

I think my most traumatic childhood incident would have been when I developed an unusual addiction to 70's album cover art, not helped by an incredibly stubborn older cousin of mine who incidentally had, and retains to this very day, a rather large crush on Kylie Minogue.

Jay Mike,
you should've spent more time on teaching yourself spelling instead of wanking...
It's parents' not parent's.
Plural, you see...

Daymare

Americans are bit out the loop on some aspects of European/Australian pop culture. Just a year ago, I barely knew who Kylie Minogue was. Now I think of her morning, noon, and most especially at night. Beats me why - she, and only she, has the key to the meme that rules my life.

1970s album cover art - Jay Mike, that cover's nowhere near as saucy as the Runaways' cover. If you want A-Grade Blondie smut go buy Rock & Roll Babylon.

Unusual addictions - New Deb dried potato mix. Without water. Just like lots of little chips.

Traumatic childhood incidents - Maths.

Passive-aggressive relatives and co-workers - A guy who walks into the common room every day and goes "Fuck! Here we go again." I always tell him if he hates it so much he ought to leave. He's a weak c**t and if he had any balls he'd go get another job.

Inexplicable celebrity crushes - Nurse Ratchet. I sometimes need guidance. And chemicals.

70s Album Covers: I'm not sure whether it was 70s or early 80s but remember a compilation called Full Boar with a pig's head wearing sunnies and ear phones? That's favourite!

Des

when i was three or four, i fell out of a moving vehicle. it was going less than 10mph, i guess, but i was little and went headfirst. idiot mother didn't force me to wear a seatbelt, and the door wasn't closed right.

re: Album art.

I win. Best cover ever.

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive/crazyrecors/deadfriends.jpg

You'll want to reward me after seeing this one.

Piffle. For REALLY classy album cover art, you can't go past anything marketed by K-Tel; the pinnacle was an album entitled "Ripper" which featured a close-up of a pair of denim hot pants being ripped off the arse of some girl with flabby thighs.
Pure class.

Daymare, nobody likes a smartarse.

For real this time.

1970s album cover art - 1970's Sticky Fingers by the Rolling Stones. It has a photo pair of jeans on the cover, a working zipper and underwear behind the zip.

Unusual addictions - Pistachios, with bottle rockets a close second, followed by putting craft glue in the palm of my hand and then peeling it off after it dries.

Traumatic childhood incidents - My two older brothers loved to put me on a bike that was way too big for me and then push me to get me going nice and fast. I had to alternately push one pedal as far down as possible and then hook the opposite pedal with the toes of the other foot to pull it up. In order to stop I had to find a tree and time it just right to half collide, half lean against the tree.

Passive-aggressive relatives and co-workers - My mother-in-law, who never fails to ask "what happened to upset her?" when my wife is having a poopy. This is mother-in-law-speak for "what did you do to her?"

Inexplicable celebrity crushes- The hot and nasty Wendy O. Williams of the Plasmatics.

Sorry, forgot to include this link to assorted classic cover art and audio clips.

http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/exclusives/record_collection/

I remember, "Ripper 77" Paul, but that arse was not flabby.

As a 7 year old that was the most pornographic thing I had ever seen.

Unusual addictions - I can't stop reading crikey.com, ever since that Gareth/Cheryl thing. I had no idea! The thought of those two rooting holds a 'raod crash' type fascination for me - bloody disgusting.

70's cheesy art -- Abdul Mati Klarwein was the King-Kling-a-Ling. Think Santana's *Abraxas*, or Miles Davis' *Live Evil*. Yowza. Put that up on your panel van. Or stick it up your junta.

"'Acknowledges' is so much nicer a word than 'admits' don't you think?"

Reminds me of "8. JOHN SHOVELAN: "The Bush Administration concedes (why not "says" or "believes"?) that the voice in the tape..... is that of Saddam Hussein."" from the http://www.dcita.gov.au/Article/0,,0_4-2_4008-4_114920,00.html Alston dossier, only in reverse.

Don't knock passive-aggressive.

Passive-aggressive is fun.

The way they interact with control freaks never fails to provide endless hours of office entertainment.

Best 70s album cover (or maybe late 60s, life has left me confused) was definitely The Mothers of Invention: We're only in it for the money. Sgt Peppers, eat your heart out.

Bloody Tim Blair! I finally relent after months of bludge-browsing his blog and sling the bastard $20, so he goes off on a (working) holiday!

That was $US too. It just goes to show how cruel and heartless the Right in Australia has become!

TFK

TonyT do you mean Nurse Ratchett from the movie?

I thought she was pretty hot too.

Seventies cover art: Nazareth's Hair of the Dog. I used to see that album in the store, and wonder what the hell that was supposed to be (it's not a dog, not obviously anyway). It scared me a little. I wanted to buy the album, but didn't like their music.

Ahhh, Roger Dean. There used to be a head shop in our little town. Sold roach clips and so forth. I bought this poster from them when I was about 13 or so. It's still around here somewhere. Never heard of the group (Osibisa).

The thought just occurred to me: those 70's art, progressive, and pop rock bands were all a bunch of lefty collectivist socialist types who spread their horrid propaganda through their album covers. Did you ever notice how you hardly ever saw actual band members on the album covers, like they were this single-minded polyp colony unworthy of individual recognition?

Examples:

Yes
Spirit
Pink Floyd
Boston
Journey

...I dunno; just musing.

70's cover art: Abraxas by Santana. That black lady with the extremely large and well-formed bazoomas played merry hell with my adolescent libido. It's also an utterly amazing album (the third I ever bought, after City to City by Gerry Rafferty, and Wish You Were Here, mentioned supra, both of which also had incredible cover art)

Unusual addictions: I used to scoff Cadbury's Creme Eggs by the basketful, nauseating myself in the process.

Traumatic childhood incidents: my childhood was a traumatic incident.

Passive aggressive co-workers/relatives: no comment (although passive would be nice in some cases - it beats active).

Inexplicable celebrity crushes: I used to really fancy Wendy Richards (Miss Brahms from Are You Being Served?) And I used to dream about Janet Ellis from Blue Peter (UK people will know her).

When I was 3 I went for a swim in a dam on the farm and nearly drowned. My mother resuscitated me. Lucky she was a swimming teacher eh?

70s cover art: The Ohio Players Honey album had a nude black woman covered in...you guessed it.
Unusual additions: PBS cartoons. I'm in my 40s, but Arthur has more plot and dialogue than anything I see in primetime. Barney, of course, sucks.
Traumatic childhood incidents: I can only remember one I inflicted. Me and my younger siser would take some lemon juice, pour it in a tumbler with some ice, and serve it to my youngest sister, telling her it was a Fresca. The expression on that toddlers face after that huge gulp was priceless, and she always fell for it.
Passive/Aggresive blahblahblah: Psychology bores me, and for the most part is b.s.
Inexplicable celebrity crushes: That girl from Robocop 1 and 2. I can never remember her name, but she used to do lots of commercials too. I remember her in those 70s satin shorts though. Yummy yumyum!

70's cover art - Scorpion's Lovedrive.

Unusual addictions - drafting trucks, SUV's, etc. on my bike. What a rush.

Traumatic childhood incidents - at 6 or 7, seeing my gramdmother in the shower, boobs sagging down. Watching my little brother scoff a box of Ex-Lax like it was chocolate was up there too.

Passive / aggressive behaviour - watching my cousin (Type A) and his wife (P/A black belt) interact. Better him than me.

Celebrity crushes - Jennifer Tilly. Well, maybe not inexplicable...

Greatest 70's cover art: "American Beauty," by the Grateful Dead.

Fave addiction: Riding a motorcycle up the Angeles Crest Highway near Los Angeles, no helmet, no shirt, no regard for traffic safety (coincidentally, at about the same time I was first listening to "American Beauty" (see above).

TO: Whomever
RE: Testing

Is the moon REALLY made of 'green cheese'?

Regards,

Chuck(le)

TO: Tim Blair...or is it Andrea?
RE: Testing (Reprised)

Looks like non sequitur posts are not being deleted after all.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

He was kidding, Chuck. (I think we know what your addiction is, anyway.)

The greatest 1970s album cover of all time is Love Beach by Emerson Lake and Palmer. Don't believe me? (Notice: no responsibility accepted for any nausea or blindness induced by this picture or the chest hair depicted therein.)

No, no. The large gold medallions are missing. What can they have been thinking?