July 12, 2003

BLESSED ARE THE CHEESEMAKERS

A personal hero departs:

Arnold Nawrocki, the man widely credited with bringing individually wrapped slices of cheese into the homes of millions of families in the 1950s, has died at 78.

No news on the funeral, but I hope that he’ll be wrapped. Or even sliced. Arnold would’ve wanted it that way.

Posted by Tim Blair at July 12, 2003 03:57 AM
Comments

In his will he said he wanted his body to be placed between two slices of wheat bread.

Posted by: scott h. at July 12, 2003 at 04:14 AM

Man, I'm a bastard.

Posted by: scott h. at July 12, 2003 at 04:15 AM

I don't know if i'm alone on this one, but i've always hated them with a passion. There's got to be something wrong with our civilization when people can't be asked to get off their fat asses and SLICE A GODDAMN PIECE OF CHEESE THEMSELVES. Oh, and they taste like crap too.

Posted by: PortugueseGuy at July 12, 2003 at 05:07 AM

But they are great for midnight raids on the fridge.
Farewell, Arnold, the snackers friend.

Posted by: Pete at July 12, 2003 at 06:13 AM

This material is the vilest of pseudo-dairy products that have disgraced the presence of refrigerators everywhere. This partialy-solidified glue-like substance has no redeeming qualities for anyone who has not sucumbed to the basest laziness that infects western society. I have warned my children to avoid this substance as surely as they would narcotics and pedophiles, and all reading this should as well.

Posted by: Geoff Matthews at July 12, 2003 at 07:13 AM

Ah, but who was the unsung genius who took this paltry contribution and invented the majesty that is
CHEESE RACING?

http://www.cheeseracing.org/

Posted by: mojo at July 12, 2003 at 07:32 AM

Then lift a bumper! Drain the glass!
To Nawrocki and his slices!
He solved the sandwich cheese impasse;
"It's easier?" "Yes sir, twice as."

Posted by: Stephen at July 12, 2003 at 08:48 AM

Last word surely goes to Homer J. Simpson:

"Mmmm! 101 slices of unprocessed cheese!" (Drooling hungrily...)

Posted by: TimT at July 12, 2003 at 10:40 AM

Another of his ilk
One has never heard.
He took sheets of plastic
and wrapped it around curd.

Unprocessed, it oft went stale,
but in his wake
one can make
Processed Cheese Food and Whale.

Goodbye, old sod,
fare thee well, aged bod.
Arnold, your food is called shlocky,
but all will remember your name: Nawrocki!

(I never claimed to be a poet)

Posted by: Wonderduck (formerly just Eric) at July 12, 2003 at 02:58 PM

Great headline Tim. Life of Brian rules.

"OHH! It's blessed are the meek! Oh good I'm glad they're getting something... they have a 'ell of a time."

Posted by: Brad at July 12, 2003 at 05:34 PM