Tim Blair

I won 25K off Kerry Stokes on his hideous gameshow "The Weakest Link". It would have been more, but all the other contestants were morons, and every time one of these deadshits got something wrong, it cost me money. Everyone asks me how exciting it is to be on television, and I replied it was torture- the only reason I did it was I was unemployed at the time, and the cash was handy. My dear old mum has been trying to get me on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" for years; good luck to the bugger, and if he gets the chance, give Eddie McGuire a mouthful of dandruff.