July 03, 2003


Wise cartoon cat Ray answers a question from James Morrow:

I like gin and tonics, and am considering a move over to gin martinis, i.e., with Bombay Sapphire or some other top-shelf brand. Is it possible - or wise - to make such a big switch? I love the whole martini experience, but won't do it without top-flight hooch.
-JM, Sydney

Dear JM,

You would be surprised to hear how many people scoff at such a question. Not me, though. It’s all about the sugar, and boy do I hate a big-bodied gin or vodka. Crisp is the name of the game, and I am ready to slap anybody who does not belong in the game, completely slap them on their faces and the sides of their heads/ears. I will slap them.

It sounds like you’ll need to move over to an extra-dry gin martini, and the down-low on gin is that the ~80 proof Plymouth or Gordon’s are the best ones going. Tanq and Bombay are way too strong at like 95 proof, tasting too harshly of alcohol. Either way, take these shaken with a twist in a chilled glass.

Sound advice is also dispensed to reader JH, who asked something about the “current curtailing of American civil rights”:

Dear JH,

Your letter makes a lot of assumptions about my political leanings. In fact, it’s mainly kind of a jerked-up advertisement for college-style thinking! In reality, you just pay your taxes and they are misused sometimes and used properly some of the time. No one ever guaranteed anyone a life in Utopia, so just go suck on your “college lollipop” until you realize that your “wonderful childhood” is “over.”

Posted by Tim Blair at July 3, 2003 01:26 PM

Ray is indeed a wise cartoon cat. The very last letter in this week's column, in which he (as Ray might say) cold goes off on a vegetarian made me laugh out loud for an extended period of time.

Posted by: Dave Himrich at July 3, 2003 at 02:19 PM

Tim, my alleged mate, where was the post when Ray answered MY e-mail, in the Very First Ray Advice Column? (It is here: http://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php?date=06112003&allnav= )

A lot of people would like to become famous weekly columnists, just like you. Do you have some advice for young doggs who want to be large in the daily paper like Ann Landers and so forth? —K.L., Reno

Dear K.L.,

I think what a lot of people don't realize is that the newspaper has kind of gone away. Sure, you can still find it in the lobbies of certain kinds of old-fashioned businesses, and also in the driveways of old people who have died, but for the most part everyone is getting hip to saving paper and just using the Internet. I would focus on the Internet.

Posted by: Ken Layne at July 3, 2003 at 06:46 PM