Tim Blair

Oh, OK....

Here is a bit of Australian technology to celebrate about:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/BUSINESS/06/26/australia.metalstorm/index.html

"Propose to a stranger."

Holly Valance, will you marry me?

A movement for Fosters on the Fourth has started up at a Lucianne.com thread ( http://www.lucianne.com/threads2.asp?artnum=53336 ) celebrating the Australian government’s calling the UN ineffective & unfocused & its saying its foreign policy will rely increasingly on coalitions of the willing (AP at http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/world/wire/sns-ap-australia-foreign-policy,0,732814.story?coll=sns-ap-world-headlines ).

HOWEVER, somebody there says that Victoria Bitters would be a much better idea than Fosters.

Can anybody here help us Americans out? Which Aussie beer for the Fourth of July?

Soylent Green is people!

(Rant mode on!)

What is Fragrance Free, anyway?
FAQ About Fragrances
http://www.shutesbury.org/ada_committee/project_underway.htm
Ziporah Hildebrandt, Chair, ADA Committee

Q: What is the big deal?

A: There are two big problems with fragrances. The first—that fragrances contain highly toxic chemicals—affects everyone. The second problem affects only people who are chemically sensitive, or have related health problems such as chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, asthma, and immune dysfunction. The neurotoxic, carcinogenic, endocrine-disrupting and other toxic chemicals contained in fragrances can make anyone sick in large enough quantities.

(Like, fer instance, if you fell into a vat of Chanel #5, you might get sick.)

People with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (MCS) will virtually always get sick from even slight traces of these chemicals.

(So die already and get it over with, you losers. Improve the friggin' species, why don't ya?)

We all have something called a blood-brain barrier that is designed to keep toxins that are in our bloodstream out of our brains. This tissue is damaged in people with MCS. Toxins that others can tolerate in small quantities are quite dangerous to people with MCS because they go right into their brain tissues, where they affect multiple body systems. In addition, fragrances usually have other chemicals in them that make their smell go farther and stick to things longer. These chemicals are also toxic to sensitive people. They can cause extremely upsetting symptoms as well as irreparable damage.

(I repeat my last. Evolution in action.)

Q: How about natural fragrances? Are they ok?

A: No. People with asthma, allergies and MCS can react badly to natural substances as well as to synthetic ones. Most synthetic chemicals were originally copied from nature. Our cells contain receptors for thousands of different chemicals, and do not distinguish the slight differences between natural and synthetic chemicals. Once someone becomes sensitive to a type of chemical, that person may react to many similar chemicals, regardless of their origin.

(So stay away from pine forests, y'hear?)

In addition, products labeled as "natural" usually contain synthetic ingredients along with natural ones. And, as anyone with allergies knows, natural things do make certain people sick.

Q: What is the difference between “unscented” and “fragrance free”?

A: A product that is labeled “unscented” often contains masking fragrances. These are chemicals added to the product to neutralize the odor of the other ingredients. These chemicals are fragrances, though they may not have a detectable smell. “Fragrance free” means that no fragrance ingredients have been added to the product. The product may still have the smell of the ingredients themselves. Sensitive people find that “fragrance free” is the safer choice.

Q: Are essential oils fragrances?

A: Yes. They are added to products to make them smell nice or to add healing properties. Essential oils are concentrated natural chemicals extracted from plants. Sensitive people can react to them. Plus, they are routinely cut with synthetic chemicals, and there is usually no way to know this from reading the label. If you are wearing essential oils, or using a product containing essential oils, you are not “fragrance free.”

Q: How can I tell if I’m “fragrance free”?

A: Check the labels on all of your personal care products, from the laundry room to the bathroom and shower to the bedroom. Look for “fragrance free” products to replace your scented ones. The only way to be absolutely sure is not to apply any personal care products, launder your clothing with unscented products, and avoid being around smoke and other people’s fragrances.

Q: I wear fragranced products but no one ever complains, so I'm ok, right?

A: Wrong. There are many reasons why someone who is affected by your fragrance is silent. There is a strong taboo in our society against talking about how we smell. Many people avoid confrontation and making a fuss about their own needs in public. Your fragrance may have already affected someone so much that she or he has trouble speaking, thinking, taking action or even remaining awake and conscious. Many people with MCS simply stay home most of the time.

(Good. Stay there.)

Q: Are fragrances the only problem?

A: No. Other smells and chemicals are big problems for many with MCS. The residue on hair, skin and clothing from smoke, petroleum products, cleaning products, pesticides, dry cleaning, fax/printer/copier toner, and other substances can also make people sick.

(Awwwwww....)

Q: What if I am already contaminated with terrible smells but I have to go somewhere that is Fragrance Free?

A: If you can, shower beforehand using baking soda instead of soap and shampoo. Baking soda effectively removes many odors. Change into clothing that has not been dry cleaned or laundered with scented products, especially fabric softeners, and has not been around smoke or fragrances. Rinse contaminated clothes with baking soda. Dry without additives. Wear a hat to contain residual odors from hair products. Wear an uncontaminated shirt over your other clothing. Depending on the event, these measures may be sufficient. Ask others present if your clothing, hair, etc. is a problem. Leave if you cause discomfort to others, or sense that your presence may be a problem. Remember: “An ounce of prevention!” Planning ahead to be free of scents is the easiest and best solution.

(Screw 'em. Walk proud, you smelly bastards!)

Q: Why do we have to bother with being fragrance free?

A: Fragrance free is a civil rights issue. The federal Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) guarantees disabled persons access to all public services and programs. This includes public meetings, events, and services such as education and library programs. Your cooperation with Shutesbury's fragrance free policy is the most practical and least expensive way to provide access at this time. Suggestions, questions or comments about accessibility in Shutesbury are welcome. Please contact Town Administrator David Ames, Shutesbury's ADA Coordinator at 259-1214, townadmin@shutesbury.org, or Ziporah Hildebrandt, Chair, ADA Committee at 259-1874, zhildebrandt@hampshire.edu.

("Civil Rights issue" my Aunt Fanny's left butt-cheek. I fart in your general direction, Ziporah. You mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of Elderberries!)

Help keep Monday morning fragrance free at the library

(Zum Befel!)

Ziporah Hildebrandt, Chair, ADA Committee
(Incipient Nazi)

Greetings...As an American citizen, may I take this opportunity to ask Tims Australian readers what they believe is the majority thought among average, working,taxpaying, law abiding citizens of Australia in regards to the Iraq war, America, Australia's involvement in the war on terror..etc. Is it closer to Tims and his commenters view, or to Phillip Adams and the mainstream media view or somewhere in between....I know that here in the U.S., the NY Times, CNN, liberal pundits etc..appear to be COMPLETELY out of touch with whats important to average, working, taxpaying,lawabiding americans..Of course I can only say "appears" because I have not polled every American in the country. But at least within my circle, we see the left for the begrudgers that they are,willing to destroy their country with their moral relativism , and appeasement of dictators and terrorists, yammering on and on about things no one cares about...So is it the same there? Oh, and thanks to Australia for your support...

Now Tim's gone and done it... =O

I am also interested in Australian beer. Any help, Aussies?

I'm interested in Australian women. Any help, Aussies?

Re: Aussie Beer.
There was some discussion a while back on Tex's blog on the subject of beer, US vs Australian. To say that he doesn't like Budweiser is an understatement. I suggested Sam Adams, but he didn't like that, either. People asked him what his idea of a good beer might be. He suggested Coopers Sparkling Ale. I found some and tried it. It looks funny, because it's cloudy, with a layer of yeast sediment on the bottom. Pour carefully. It's outstanding. It's pricey over here ($10/6pack), so I only drink it on special occasions, like July 4, or drinking to Jake's health.

Tim, what about that report that PM John Howard is ready to chuck the ineffective UN and start kicking ass and taking names as Australia sees fit?

cool new site just started up...check it out!

The Chicago Report

http://www.metalstorm.com/videos/ms_36barrel_mpg.zip

Here's an awesome Metal Storm video.

I can't speak for Australian beer (having myself only tasted Fosters -- the Australian Budweiser), but I think Monty Python summed up American beer the best:

"American beer is a bit like making love in a canoe. It's F----ing close to water!"

The Chicago Report may be a cool new site but who would know......it's a slow loader. Nix.

"hector"

Tim Blair steals lolly's from kids and is a big meanie.

"I'm interested in Australian women. Any help, Aussies?" --D

I'm interested in Australian men. Any help, Aussies?
(Bet I get more replies than D...)

I'll stick with the Fosters. I like it and it's easy to find around here (Florida, US). Now, if I could just find some vegemite... no, not kidding; I like the stuff.

Since we opened this up for US comments on Australia:

I first visited Australia in 1989. I was immediately struck by two points:

1. You have lots of topless beaches.
2. In spite of (1), you aren't France.

That's enough for me.

Tim:
I think there's smoke coming from behind the kitchen in you house . . . . er, Tim??

I drank some non-negligible fraction of the Victoria Bitter produced by Carlton Breweries while me and the Mrs were in Australia -- and while I like Foster's on a really hot day, VB is infinitely better.

The catch: it's not available in the United States. There is Foster's Special Bitter, available in the 25 ounce can, and it's better than Fosters, but not quite as tastey as the VB.

Cooper's is available in California, anyway, and I'd certainly suggest you give that a try.

Years ago, XXXX (from Queensland) was available in the US, but I haven't seen it in a long, long time.

A couple of other great Australian beers are the James Hoag from Tasmania and the James Squire microbrews (I think from NSW) -- Ive never seen either of those here.

Damian P. has all the luck!!!

I have to wait five more years for a certain Dan Rad{icle} Cliff{hang}e{r} just to be legal. What guarantee do I have that Tim is going to have another "propose to a stranger" open comment session in five years time? Y'nun'it'all.

What guarantee do I have that bigamy won't still be illegal in five years time! Nun'4'it'neither. This ain't justice! I was framed, I tell yuz!

Perhaps beer connoiseurs will laugh at me, but I've always been partial to Tooheys. . . . a frosty mug with salt & vinegar potato chips was always a delight.

Beer, schmeer. I've got a nice bottle of Rosemount Shiraz cooling in the fridge. Mmmm... wine.

Let's all go to the Outback steakhouse and rent a Paul Hogan movie this weekend! And when is Cell Block H coming out on DVD?

What follows is a shameless plug for my (very silly) website...

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Go to this website for everything about FLY-EATING, including FLY RECIPES, FLY POEMS, FLY NEWS, THE HISTORY OF FLIES, and information about THE SOCIETY OF FLY EATERS!

www.geocities.com/societyofflyeaters

By the way - we will have no Flea Eating Surrender Monkeys on our website.

P.S. A meal of Fly goes well with tooheys, VB, shiraz, and anything else you'd care to name. So just go to my website already!

I'll proudly defend Outback. It's not Australian, not any more than Behnihana's is Japanese -- but unlike Benihana's, it's a good meal at a fair price.

Is Australia having last winter or next winter now?

Australia is 15 hours ahead and 6 months behind.

For my rant, I thought I'd amuse you with some minutes from a Sydney University SRC Meeting, which discussed the motion that "Honi Soit (student newspaper) will not accept paid or unpaid advertisements from the Australian Defence Force" because "studeny media should not advertise for killers."

My favourite bit of the minutes is is "he said, with the exception of the 2nd world war, which was won by the whole of Australia collectively—don’t write off the people—the army did not do very much except embark on imperialist crusadse. "

(the 2nd world war bit was an ammendum he added after I began interjecting). So. There you go. Our army has done absolutly nothing in history except embark upon imperialism.

And who can forget the other speech that "She said that their interests are in indoctrination, enforcing subservience..."

The most amusing speech however was by the same aformentioned person who, having ranted about how the army goign against freedom and is all about 'following orders' then decided to restrict free speech.

Other great lines include "Iraqi's are now living without water, energy, functional hospitals. He said that they’ve lost their museums, and their history."

Yes, that is right. We have taken away their history from them. *insert evil music*

And so forth.

Motion was pased 27 votes to 3.
/endrant

Was it the request for men -- or the vegemite -- that scared you lot off?

I think the Aussie men are mostly still asleep right now. Remember, it’s Saturday morning six months ago for them.

I just saw your blog: “Here’s to Australia...the only country in the known universe that has ever prompted the Ameri-centric batch over at Lucianne.com to propose that we drink their beer on our national holiday.”

How do you know that it hasn’t happened there before, perhaps even often? Do you frequent Lucianne.com? Have you a username there?

While on vacation, I had to ride a bus fron Wauchope to Sydney because Countrylink was shut down due to track work recently. Imagine my surprise when I saw that each seat on the bus was equipped with seat belts. And I was shocked - to say the least - when the driver said that police can stop the bus and check if all its occupants' seat belts are buckled up, and issue tickets to those whose belts aren't secured.

I am still in a state of shock.

ForNow,

No username; had one but lost it in one of their changes. I could be wrong about the proposals, I don't have the hours in the day to read all comments there. I mostly use them as one of many news sources.

I have seen them cheer Australia before in comments. What I have not seen is a proposal that we 'toast' Aus on a US holiday.

I was just kidding around, you seemed in a kidding mood. I don’t recall such a proposal at Lucianne.com about foreign beers on the Fourth before. I was just wondering whether I already “know” you at Lucianne.com. By the way, you have a nice blog going there.

Even when I had a username, I rarely commented, so you probably don't 'know' me.
I do enjoy kidding, and I hope to get a bellicose Aus comment or two on the "sometimes" portion of the toast. ;)

I would like to have a real Foster's -- the ones in Georgia are brewed in Canada. Maybe the Canucks aren't getting it right.

http://randomprose.journalspace.com/

Hey, you merikkuns got to try the pride of my home town, Geelong -- PISS Beer. You can even order it at http://www.pi55.com/
they've got a light version -- PISS WEAK

Oops, sorry friends, they don't supply to the US, just the UK. But hey, nag an importer.

Well, Kathy roll me in vegemite and call me Bruce.

Damian, Holly Valance is mine motherfucker!!

Andrea, I can't believe you are chilling red wine.

Everybody, VB does, always did, and always will SUCK!

Melbourne Bitter's heaps better. Or Boags. Or Cascade. Fosters is OK. But not VB.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

VB bad.

I posted some info about Australian beers in this thread at LGF. My favourite out of those 3 is Toohey's Extra Dry.

If this is what beer does to you it can be all bad:

Sailors' drunken romp on US island
By Natalie O'Brien, Investigations editor, and Michael McKinnon, FOI editor
June 28, 2003

AUSTRALIAN sailors had sex on the beach, streaked through military buses and pranced naked with rolled-up burning paper stuck between their buttocks in a wild, drunken romp at a US outpost in the Indian Ocean.

An investigation by The Weekend Australian has revealed many other complaints of misconduct during the 24-hour shore leave on Diego Garcia – the US base dubbed "Gilligan's Island with guns".

Among the allegations were widespread drunkenness among the crews of HMAS Adelaide and HMAS Kanimbla, urinating in public, overt public male-to-male kissing and abuse of foreign military personnel.

But the Australian Defence Force investigated only a handful – including urinating in public, public nudity, verbal abuse, sexually inappropriate displays of affection and intoxication – because military police found insufficient evidence to identify the other offenders. No other details were ever released.

Disciplinary action has been taken against just two sailors – one for the so-called "dance of the flamers", where rolled paper inserted between the buttocks was set alight, and another for exposing himself in public. Penalties included restriction of privileges and leave, plus a fine equal to five and three days' pay respectively.

Navy chief Vice-Admiral David Shackleton has already ordered a review of behaviour, in particular the use of alcohol. A defence spokesperson said that review was ongoing.

The incident surfaced after another string of misconduct allegations against sailors from HMAS Arunta on Christmas Island in December 2001. Two sailors were charged with obscene behaviour for swimming naked and for exposing themselves at an island tavern. Another was forced to apologise to a female crew member for sexually assaulting her.

A month before that incident, the Adelaide and the Kanimbla pulled into Diego Garcia for refuelling en route to the Persian Gulf.

Diego Garcia is renowned in defence circles for its endless parties, all-night drinking binges and skinny dipping.

Leased by the US, it is closed to the public. It hosts a satellite listening post, harbour and an air force runway, and is a stopover point for ships heading from Australia to the Middle East.

The tropical island is also awash with clubs and bars and it was the popular neighbouring yacht club and Brit club that many sailors headed for on that fateful day – November 25.

And it was at the yacht club that one drunken sailor performed the infamous "dance of the flamers".

Investigating military police reported sailors from both ships were seriously intoxicated by 5.30pm, despite warnings from their commanders to behave.

Within hours, there were random alcohol-fuelled acts of misconduct.

On the beach in front of the yacht club, several unidentified couples were caught "fraternising" and performing sexual acts. Two male sailors were caught kissing – subsequently earning them a Maritime Commander's letter of displeasure. Another drunken shipmate had run naked through an army shuttle bus transporting other foreign military personnel. His identify could not be established. Nor could the identity of sailors accused of abusing verbally foreign military personnel.

Other unidentified sailors were seen allegedly joy riding on an "acquired" bicycle, and there was another complaint of a male sailor assaulting a female US air force officer. However, the alleged culprits could not be identified. No official complaint was laid with Diego Garcia authorities.

Military police found that the high level of alcohol consumption was a problem across the ranks, with many sailors believing that because they had "been at sea" so long they were entitled to "play hard on shore leave".

One RAN officer told them "we measure drunkenness by the sailor's ability to walk up the gangway".

Re: Debbie asking about Aussie opinions of the war in Iraq etc.
My impression is that initially (meaning when we first sent troops late last year)public opinion was against military action. Then, as the public became more educated about the nature of the Iraqi regime, people more and more began to support military action. By the time of the war, opinion polls were showing clear majority support for the war. John Howard's increase in popularity following the war I think suggests, that majority of people here still think it was the right thing to do. There is, however, a sizeable minority of anti-American opinion remaining here, and our public broadcasting services help nurture this line of thinking with undeniably biased coverage and news programs. On the whole, however, I think the septics (Americans) have a pretty positive image here.

Not only am I chilling red wine, I dropped a couple of ice cubes in it. Come on, this is Florida, it's summer here (I know it's last year and winter, or next year and winter, down where some of you guys are). It's hot even with the a/c on full blast. When the bottle says "serve room temperature" I'm pretty sure they didn't mean 85 degrees Fahrenheit. (Of course I would never do that to really pricey red wine, but I can't afford pricey red wine, or pricey anything for that matter.)

I passed along your remark about the Rosemount Shiraz, as well as the beer recommendations.

I don’t know whether Aussie wine sales in the USA have gone up, but French wine sales in the USA have certainly gone down.

Three cheers for Andrea.
In Katherine in the Northern Territory, where the average maximum temperature is always between 32 and 42 degrees C (Farenheit - what's that?)you chuck your red wine in the freezer for a couple of hours.
I've had friends from the south who thought you couldn't drink cab sav up here.
They're wrong.
I have it on good authority room temperature is 18 degrees C. If you live here, pull it out of the freezer at 2 degrees C, pour your glass, by the time you're one third of the way through, it's 18 degrees.
Perfect!

My 2 cents on beer:

Boags is with out a doubt Australia's best beer. It's from Tasmania for those overseas and tastes like sex feels. There's a good variety but Premium is the top dog.

Coopers (the various varieties) is another top beer but not as tops as Boags.

Carlton Draft is a fine full strength with a full flavour and is on the cheap side - a good thing for a beer to be.

Melbourne bitter is average, boardering on crap depending on my mood.

Fosters is as aussie as a kiwi fruit. Just say no, don't drink it, it's crap.

VB is also very crap as is Swan, XXXX and redback.

Tooheys is less crap than XXXX but more crap than Melbourne Bitter. Tooheys old isn't very crap at all, in fact it may be considered drinkable but only when in NSW where a better brew may not be available.

Home brews are always worth a go, you never know for sure how strong they'll be and they cost bugger all to make after the initial set up costs.

There you go my foreign friends, if you need any more beer opinions just send me a carton and I'll get right into it.

Best locally brewed beer is (shudder) from Victoria- a small brewery at Ballarat makes an excellent light northern European lager very similar to Stella Artois, called "Haagen".
A barn on the Gold coast sells it for $25 a case- a bargain. (It's also 5%, so good for getting shitfaced). Virtually all the other major breweries are owned by the Poms or the Kiwis now, and their product reflects the ownership.

Send me a case Paul, I'd love to give my opinion on it - for purely altuistic reasons of course....

BTW Coopers is still Aussie owned though not sure about Boags but would hazard a guess and say it is...

How can you forget the James Squires, which is a wonderful drop and surely challenges Boags for the "best beer" title?

Re: Aussie Beer

While Googling around, I came across this:

"Search for the Great Aussie Beer"
By Willie Simpson.

The rest of the site looks pretty good, too. All about beer.

People, people! It doesn't matter whether the company that owns these beers is Australian, British or friggin Iranian. If it tastes good, buy it. And drink it.

Whether Cascade or Boags or Crown are owned by Australian companies or otherwise, they still create Australian jobs. And they're still nice beers.

I'm watching Thunderball on the box, and I've just watched an ad for Devondale saying Oh we're 100% Australian-owned! Protectionist wankers. A curse on you! May your toes itch furiously at moments when scratching is inopportune!

No one's taken up the 'defame your own family' bit so can I take this opportunity to sledge my Uncle, who brews some of the worst homebrew this side of the Southwark Brewery?

Consider yourself sledged, Uncle Jack. Lift your game you dork or you are fired.

The Gabor family are a bunch of gooses.

Sorry.

The Gabor family are geese.

My sister is fat.

To Serve Man is a cookbook.

Hey Guys, what's going on here?

I would buy Mark Steyn's Face of the Tiger if you could tell me that it is not just a recycling of previous columns. I've read everything he's written since he first appeared with the American Specator. I don't want to pay the pathetic Canadian dollars if there isn't anything new. Next to Mark you're right there with the sardonic style. Best

Juanito,

Where can you buy a case? Email me for where to send it ;-)!!