June 12, 2003


What, no colours? We can do better than this. How about a warning system indicated by Australian native creatures?

Low: the enigmatic wallaby
Medium: the capricious funnel web spider
High: the stealthy brown snake
Extreme: the deadly Wiggles

Posted by Tim Blair at June 12, 2003 01:35 AM

Or the even deadlier Bananas in Pyjamas.

Posted by: John F at June 12, 2003 at 02:13 AM

Low: the enigmatic David Marr
Medium: the capricious Peter Fitzsimons
High: the stealthy Margo Kingston
Extreme: the deadly John Pilger

Posted by: James Dudek at June 12, 2003 at 02:43 AM

I warned you about those damned Wiggles months ago. We're sending Barney over on the next flight.

Posted by: Mark from Monroe at June 12, 2003 at 03:18 AM

Is that the Sydney Funnel-web, or the other one?

Posted by: mojo at June 12, 2003 at 03:22 AM

that's a king brown not a brown snake mate and the king brown's a big and very unstealthy length of sausage.

Posted by: GILES at June 12, 2003 at 05:01 AM

Re- Deadly = The Wiggles.

Sorry, but once you've gotten to the Wiggles, it's already too late.

(Father of 3 children under 6. Shoot the Wiggles, please!!!!!!!)

Posted by: shaulie at June 12, 2003 at 05:09 AM

Those wretched dogs are Australian? (I meant the Wiggles, not Pilger and Kingston, as they hardly ever appear in the US media). I thought the Wiggles were British, their matching outfits are odd enough to be British. I take back all of the good things I've said about Australia, at least until I open another bottle of Shiraz... Ahh... Penfolds... Mmmm

Posted by: Jim Harris at June 12, 2003 at 05:26 AM

`one that had already occurred..' suggest fith colour alert, black armband for victims.

In similar but light vein, to Dudek's meritorious recommendation, black armband denotes the Wiggles.

A good red, in several magnums, is the recommended antidote - inclusive for bite of taipan-heck, bitten by one of those you might as well suck on a cellarfull for in a few minutes others will mark your passing in black.

Blimme , this is morbid, better cheer one up with a good red and quick.

Posted by: d at June 12, 2003 at 10:38 AM

YOU are responsible for the Wiggles? FEH upon you!

Posted by: Eric at June 12, 2003 at 02:19 PM

Aw come on; the Wiggles aren't that bad! Maybe Simon Crean or the Manly Sea Eagles are a better choice. No, wait! How about Hillary "Fat Ass" Clinton? Yeah, that's the ticket!

Posted by: Tom at June 12, 2003 at 02:49 PM

Tom, your suggestions are in a league of their own - the scariest movie doesn't run close. Erk , back to the red.

Posted by: d at June 12, 2003 at 04:55 PM

What is it with you people and snakes, eh?

Posted by: Venomous Kate at June 12, 2003 at 06:22 PM

Surely Kylie Minogue should be in there as one of the warning levels....along with Steve Irwin. When the alert level is at Kylie, relax (and let your brain turn to mush), but when it's at Steve, kiss your butt goodbye?

Posted by: Kimberly at June 12, 2003 at 09:25 PM

What, no bunyips?

Posted by: Michael Lonie at June 13, 2003 at 11:18 AM

As I've posted before -- Paul Hogan, The Crocodile hunter, Pilger, and the Wiggles -- what new unholy Hell will Austrailia spawn next?

Posted by: Jerry at June 13, 2003 at 12:19 PM

Venomous Kate, spend some time in the countryside, in the bush, in forests. It's no paranoia this snake thing.On top of which, it is a relief not living in Sydney, the funnel webs. Then go for a swim in the sea.Horrible, horrible.

Posted by: d at June 13, 2003 at 01:31 PM

Father of a 5-year-old daughter and an 11-month-old daughter, here. The girls LOVE the Wiggles, and anything that makes them happy makes the Old Man happy. More power to 'em.

They aren't my favorite Aussie export, but Kylie and Foster's come along only once in a blue moon.

Posted by: RJGator at June 13, 2003 at 11:57 PM