June 05, 2003

CHECK e-BAY

Where are the WMDs? BoJo knows:

I know exactly what happened to Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction, and I cannot believe I am alone. You have only to go to Baghdad to see immediately what must have happened.

There is one simple reason for the amazing no-show by the WMD: in so far as they ever existed, they have probably all been looted. If they were at all valuable, if even their bronze casings were of interest to the Bedouin pedlars, then they have been taken and flogged, distributed to the four corners of the world, along with the Akkadian vases, the bullion and Tariq Aziz's cigar case, currently in my desk drawer.

Posted by Tim Blair at June 5, 2003 05:43 PM
Comments

I think BoJo is shitting in his own nest here. The Tories are starting to use the whole "Where's the WMDs?" question as ammunition against Blair. The Tories almost unquestioningly supported Blair on the issue and IDS himself made it clear that the WMD threat legitimised an assault on Iraq. So the question has to be asked of the Tories themselves: What was their reasoning for voting to go to war with Iraq? If it wasn't WMDs then why did they not raise their alternative reasonings in the parliamentary debate?

This whole thing is likely to be seen as a victory for the increasingly insane Lib-Dems, not the Tories.

Posted by: AndyM at June 5, 2003 at 08:06 PM

The reason that you can't find any WMDs is not looting. George Bush has found the WMDs, and is infecting the water supplies of Iraq with them, as well as administering them to children under the guise of antibiotics. I got this from two impeccable sources, Robert Fisk, and someone who wrote "George Bush...finding WMDs...providing water...children in hospitals."

Posted by: Pilger at June 6, 2003 at 06:41 AM

Impeccable imitationof Pilger, it's scary.So scary that, cripes, has the beastinvaded Tim's blog.
Disagree with Bojo, the war was unjustified -and WMD hatched by..., but what happened to the WMDs is a hoot.

Posted by: d at June 6, 2003 at 11:03 AM

Gee, That Iraqi VX and Sarin must have been piss-week stuff if Abdul and Hajib could run off with gallons of it without encountering any of the blistering skin, and the wretching and the screaming and the dying.

But it might explain why U.S inspectors examined the famous mobile lab trucks of mass destruction while wearing nothing more protective than Taiwanese SARS masks.

Posted by: Adrian Luca at June 6, 2003 at 12:37 PM

Yes, I know....retching

Posted by: Adrian Luca at June 6, 2003 at 12:40 PM

Yes, I know...one ellipsis too many.

Posted by: Adrian Luca at June 6, 2003 at 12:44 PM

I did better than Bojo. I have a nice set of whips and chains which I picked up in Uday's palace. They go nicely with Qusay's leather posing pouch which I, er, also acquired, in the Baghdad bazaar.

I'm certainly in the market for any WMDs or other trophies I can add to my victory collection.Just call me folks!

Posted by: Rodney at June 6, 2003 at 01:20 PM

WMD. I like Donald Rumsfeld's answer: No one doubts the existence of Saddam Hussein but we can't find him either.

Posted by: Barb at June 6, 2003 at 09:32 PM

Barb nails it for me. Beautiful logic. Straight to the point. No long winded pontificating. Unlike some. Give her a prize Tim.

Posted by: aussieoldfart at June 7, 2003 at 12:17 PM

It is FAR worse than anyone realises. My grandson has been taken by a UFO to prevent him revealing the truth about Saddam. Saddam has not been found, so he didn't really exist, Q.E.D.
Bush is more devilishly cunning than we realised. Bush (in cooperation with that devious "Iraqi" spokesman, who gave out false reports of the War's progress on TV to put Iraq's forces off guard)used look-alikes of this non-existent Saddam to throw us off the scent.

But now is the time for us to all demand, "Where's the evidence of this so called Saddam Hussein ever existing!" Let's see the Bush supporters talk their way out of this one.

Posted by: Pilger's Grandmother at June 7, 2003 at 12:53 PM

Lower order Neros and very bad fiddling. Typical of you lot - your reason to invade turns out to be neocon dreaming and your response is poor undergrad flippancy. Keep trying.

Posted by: Glenn at June 12, 2003 at 06:35 PM