Tim Blair

ELECTION ADVICE

A new poll is up. Following is a brief outline of each candidate. Please read it before voting, as this poll is legally binding and will select the nation’s next Governor-General:

Gough Whitlam was fired from the Prime Ministership in 1975 but never let that harm his healthy self-image. Here is a 1/25th scale image of his head.

Helen Caldicott recently ran naked through San Francisco’s streets. Not decades ago, when this often-used publicity shot was taken. Recently. Think about that.

Steve Waugh has scored more than 10,000 Test runs and last year sent my mother a gift. Vote against him? I don’t think so.

John Pilger is a writer. Here he is relaxing in his living room.

Annalise Braakensiek, although known mostly for her work in fabric tensile analysis and tidal/sun interaction theories, also has attained considerable success in the fields of lightspeed reflection mapping and ... er ... ethnomusicology.

Barry Humphries once concealed a roast chicken and a bottle of champagne in a garbage bin, later to consume them in front of stunned onlookers. He has been preparing for this job for years.

Tony from the corner shop sometimes doesn’t wake up in time to open the shop for early-morning customers. He could do with some extra work to get him motivated.

David Marr is on unpaid leave from his newspaper job. He is campaigning under the slogan: “New Shoes For David”.

Posted by Tim Blair at May 27, 2003 01:41 AM