Tim Blair

I care as much about celebrity smoking/drinking/fill-in-the-blank habits as I do about their political proclivities. ;)

I'd like to see her right next to me, up on one elbow, smokingly satisfied. Talk about an ashtray I could kiss!

My fat doctor and his obnoxious assistant tried to bully me about giving up my smoking pleasure the other day and I finally lost it: challenged them to a physical fitness test. (I'm 57th on my gym's fitness list.) Wee wee on the health Nazis.

Never forget the immutable ethical statement thrown down by Brick Pollitt in Tennessee Williams' "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof", which is available to paraphrase as, "I like to smoke."

Just because the nannies think they can force me to let them pay for health care if I need it -- and hold the guns of state to everyone else's head to force them, too -- that's no reason for me to take their gas when they bloat.

They get to sit down and shut the fuck up, with my earnest compliments.

It says she can roll her own. Beautiful and economical. What's not to like?

I'll even forgive Ms. Kidman for starring in another unutterable tedious wank-fest from Lars Von Trier. Sleeping with Tom Cruise is quite another -- the teaser trailers for The Last Samurai (Dances With Wolves in pyjamas) are horrid beyond belief. Look - See Noble White Man Running Around With Big-Ass Steak Knife! See Nips Scrape And Bow! See Noble White Man's Migratory Pubic Hair In Three-Quarter Profile!