May 13, 2003
GODDAMN Matt Welch. Ever since
GODDAMN Matt Welch. Ever since I read his Worst Sports Lede of the Week - found, natch, at the cringemaking LA Times - these words have been hurting my head:
If the Beatles had written a song about the game between the Angels and Cleveland Indians on Thursday night at Edison Field, it might have gone something like this:
The Indians said goodbye, and Kevin Appier said hello.
When Garret Anderson swung, the Angels said, "Go, go, go!"
Your challenge, readers: using a similar structure and limiting yourself to Beatles tunes, come up with an even worse sports lede. You may select the sport of your choice. Here's an example:
If the Beatles had written a song about the game between Collingwood and Adelaide on Saturday night at Football Park, it might have gone something like this:
Anthony Rocca
Picks up the ball
in the square where a ball-up has been
Kicks to his team
All the Magpie forwards
Where do they all come from?
All the Magpie forwards
Where do they all belong?
The best entries will be published here then sent to the LA Times, so that they may learn.
Posted by Tim Blair at May 13, 2003 12:52 AM