May 09, 2003

WALKING TO McDonald's for breakfast

WALKING TO McDonald's for breakfast this morning (it's true!) I encountered three uniformed schoolboys urging passersby to purchase some kind of charity stuff:

Tim: Are you selling drugs?

Boy 1: No! This is all quality Starlight Children's Foundation ... er, merchandise.

Tim: Oh, merchandise, eh? Like what?

Boy 1: Well, I've got pens, and ...

Boy 2: (shoves Boy 1 aside) Don't buy anything from him. He looks like a fetus.

Boy 3: Yeah! Now, we've got these wristbands, and these cool stressbuster things ...

Tim: Give me that. (Examines pliable yellow "stressbuster") Why has this fucker got a smiley face on it?

Boy 2: Um, I don't know why the ... product is smiling, sir.

Tim: How much?

Boy 3: Four bucks.

Boy 1: (the Fetus Boy, elbowing his way past the larger Boys 2 & 3) I've got a stressbuster!

Tim: Sold! (Hands coins to Fetus Boy, walks away)

Boy 2: You just bought it from him out of pity!

Boy 3: I'm very disappointed in you!

Posted by Tim Blair at May 9, 2003 01:00 PM