May 09, 2003
WALKING TO McDonald's for breakfast
WALKING TO McDonald's for breakfast this morning (it's true!) I encountered three uniformed schoolboys urging passersby to purchase some kind of charity stuff:
Tim: Are you selling drugs?
Boy 1: No! This is all quality Starlight Children's Foundation ... er, merchandise.
Tim: Oh, merchandise, eh? Like what?
Boy 1: Well, I've got pens, and ...
Boy 2: (shoves Boy 1 aside) Don't buy anything from him. He looks like a fetus.
Boy 3: Yeah! Now, we've got these wristbands, and these cool stressbuster things ...
Tim: Give me that. (Examines pliable yellow "stressbuster") Why has this fucker got a smiley face on it?
Boy 2: Um, I don't know why the ... product is smiling, sir.
Tim: How much?
Boy 3: Four bucks.
Boy 1: (the Fetus Boy, elbowing his way past the larger Boys 2 & 3) I've got a stressbuster!
Tim: Sold! (Hands coins to Fetus Boy, walks away)
Boy 2: You just bought it from him out of pity!
Boy 3: I'm very disappointed in you!